[ Dazai flinches the second that Odasaku raises his voice, almost recoiling, in that same way that a cat might when hearing a sharp noise. He neither question nor argues, instead watching warily, and for the first time there seems to be some amount of calculation as he watches the other.
He's not looking for the optimal solution though. He can't look at this logically. He's just grasping at straws, searching for something - for anything that can satisfy the question that's asked of him.
Was he fine? Of course not. In the original world, he wasn't.
But this Dazai is fine. Everything went exactly according to his plan. It's hard to breathe. The oxygen doesn't seem to reach his lungs, and he realizes after a time that's because he hasn't inhaled for some time. He makes half-hearted effort to exhale some breath hadn't taken in before drawing on in. It's easy and natural, quiet, and he shakes his head.
Something vile sits in the pit of his stomach, but it's obstructed in his throat, and he has to work to regulate his breath. ]
... Does it really matter?
[ He withdraws just a tad, his gaze growing wary, like a burnt black cat that's gained some awareness of how people behave. There's the faintest coolness to his voice, because Dazai doesn't want to talk about that at al, before it warms again - like spring trying to peek out from a frigid winter, ]
It doesn't, right? You're here now, so... I'm fine...
[ He's fine. Even now, Dazai doesn't feel even the slightest hint of resentment toward Odasaku.Even if he were hated, even if he was left behind, he simply couldn't bring himself to see this man as anything other than his friend> His best friend. His only friend. The only one he'll ever have.
To be able to give him the life he deserved, to be able to meet him like this, to have some second chance to give the one he remembers so well the life that he deserves... It's euphoric. It's more than he could ever ask for.
Dazai's gaze softens, and his shoulders slump. He doesn't know what precisely it is that he wants to say either, though, even after all that time. ]
no subject
He's not looking for the optimal solution though. He can't look at this logically. He's just grasping at straws, searching for something - for anything that can satisfy the question that's asked of him.
Was he fine? Of course not. In the original world, he wasn't.
But this Dazai is fine. Everything went exactly according to his plan. It's hard to breathe. The oxygen doesn't seem to reach his lungs, and he realizes after a time that's because he hasn't inhaled for some time. He makes half-hearted effort to exhale some breath hadn't taken in before drawing on in. It's easy and natural, quiet, and he shakes his head.
Something vile sits in the pit of his stomach, but it's obstructed in his throat, and he has to work to regulate his breath. ]
... Does it really matter?
[ He withdraws just a tad, his gaze growing wary, like a burnt black cat that's gained some awareness of how people behave. There's the faintest coolness to his voice, because Dazai doesn't want to talk about that at al, before it warms again - like spring trying to peek out from a frigid winter, ]
It doesn't, right? You're here now, so... I'm fine...
[ He's fine. Even now, Dazai doesn't feel even the slightest hint of resentment toward Odasaku.Even if he were hated, even if he was left behind, he simply couldn't bring himself to see this man as anything other than his friend> His best friend. His only friend. The only one he'll ever have.
To be able to give him the life he deserved, to be able to meet him like this, to have some second chance to give the one he remembers so well the life that he deserves... It's euphoric. It's more than he could ever ask for.
Dazai's gaze softens, and his shoulders slump. He doesn't know what precisely it is that he wants to say either, though, even after all that time. ]
I have yet to die.