[ Ah, a complete rejection. He's visibly crestfallen by the end of Komaeda's response, shoulders sagging as he slumps down. His hands tighten behind his back before they sink back down to his side. He's not surprised in the least. This was, most likely, the only way that Komaeda could respond. He could only see himself as someone who could not even be granted an opinion. It was a truly sad state of affairs, and each time he hears it, it strengthens his resolve a little more. He's grateful for this cute patient of his, who ensures each time they speak that his resolve will never waver.
Komaeda, his precious patient, who had gained the love that no ultimate could now. Komaeda, whose love was so pure and honest that it made his heart skip a beat. Komaeda, his cute, precious patient, whose brilliance was wasted. For that cute Komaeda, he forces a pained smile that he gradually trains into something more natural. He offers a nervous little laugh in response to the final question, remorse creeping into it. ]
Y-yes, of course... [ His voice falters for just a second before he corrects it, ] I apologize, Komaeda-kun, I shouldn't demand so much of you.
[ He has no interest in the thoughts of other Ultimates, who all came to the same drab conclusions. It was like glimpsing into an echo chamber, back then and even now. It so often manage to be even more tiring than dealing with the drab majority, who had least made every effort to struggle their way to talent and would occasionally stumble onto something of interest. Every once in awhile one of them would come to him, and he would see their charm and talent, and he would extract every last thought and feeling out as he showered them with every last bit of affection.
Ultimates were no different. If he wanted to, he only need take them, and they would bend before him. He could give them all of his love, but their thoughts were rarely anything he couldn't think of himself. When compared to that, the person before him and their blunt rejection was something that could leave his heart pounding in his chest.
He shifts the subject: ]
And I did promise that I would discharge you if you cooperated, didn't I? You did well, and I'm sure that you've had enough of me for one day, so why don't I write you that letter now? If you wouldn't mind coming back to my office for just a minute... I seem to have forgotten to bring my pen and pad with me.
I suppose I do. My aide is always scolding me... But, we should go together.
[ There is no aide when he cares for Komaeda, though. There was no one except for Hiyori. He considers offering to transfer him to another doctor, but decides against it. It was too likely that he would take up on it, and that would lead to further complications. The issue of him wanting to continue caring for his favorite patient aside, there was the little issue that no one else wanted him. It was truly poor luck on Komaeda's part that even the most patient of their staff no longer saw him as worth it.
That sentiment had only intensified after he had been been injured for the first time. It was unsightly for their most important doctor to be in need of intense care. But he had taken that in stride as he did all other occurrences. It had been frightening, but no real harm had been done, and he was already working to replace all the inconvenient human parts.
He opens the exam room's door, revealing the dimly lit hallway behind it, patting Komaeda's shoulder as he passes to signify for him to follow. It's a a familiar set of paces down a hallway that they've walked so many times before. He's disappointed by how short their time together was this round, but he supposes that was his own poor luck showing through. There would be next time. Around the corner and just a little ways down, nested away near a corner, and he stops at the door. He tugs a key out of his pocket, with a cute little black cat keychain attached to it. ]
I'd like to ask you one more question, Komaeda-kun.
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A REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL MICROSCOPE. AND EVEN THEN IT'S ACTUALLY JUST DUST ON THE SCREEN.
Oh? In that case, perhaps I should ask you to let me keep you all to myself. But then, you would only break my heart.
[ It's a joke, of course. He knows well enough that each and ever offer would be readily refuted. If he were able to do so, Hiyori would like to ensure that he never had to let Komaeda go again. He would lock him up, chain him down, and love him so dearly that he'd never even need to think about another person again. He would meet him again every day, fall in love with him again every day, reminded him of who he was and the love they shared. But such unsavory behavior would only make his beloved resent him, and so Hiyori settles for this fleeting time.
He pushes the door open, allowing Komaeda to go first and shutting it behind him. He clicks the lock as he always does to avoid needless interruptions. Then he paces over to the desk and sits behind it, taking out the pen and pad. It's filled out quickly and efficiently, the top page torn off, to show that he's good to his word before proceeding. The moment the other wanted to leave, he only need snatch it from his hand.
It's only once he's done all of this, when he can look directly at Komaeda, that he's willing to ask his question. ]
Komaeda-kun, if you were able to cure the diseases afflicting you, would you choose to do so? If I were to offer you a cure right now, would you take it?
[ Despite the patient and kind air he kept about him, despite the massive ethics breach that he had committed here, Hiyori was nonetheless befitting of being called an Ultimate. He took hiss job seriously, and he didn't believe in offering false hope to patients that would only lead to more pain in the end, and so it was only when he had a cure that he asked. Normally he can feel relatively confident about the answer - some would jump at any sliver of hope, and some were too far gone to even consider such a possibility. He wonders which side this one will land on. ]
Edited 2021-11-15 06:04 (UTC)
(deleted comment)
OH MY GOODDDD THAT'S MY NEW WAY OF EXPLAINING HIM, HE REALLY IS
[ Komaeda's love is warm and pure, just as his own is, and the thought of it bubbles up in his chest, and he wishes he could hang onto that feeling forever. He wants to give unapologetic words of love in return, but he refrains for now, not wanting to ruin this chance to speak with him about such an important matter. It would decide how everything proceeded from here.
He nods once. It was about the diseases that had tormented his patient for so long. It was about an effort to uproot his entire life, to shape him into a completely different person than he presently was. He breathes out as Komaeda continues, closing his eyes as he considers the question presented to him. ]
Yes, of course... [ He brings his hand up to his chin, fingers curled as he deliberates. He sets the paper down on the desk so that Komaeda need not even suffer the guilt of tearing it away from him should his answer prove to be unsatisfactory. ] Well, I think I would say that luck is its own kind of force of nature. How else can you describe all of the right factors coming together to cause a person ill or good fortune by simple chance?
[ He shakes his head. He's not superstitious by any means, but nor does he think it's wrong to call a series of coincidences luck. It's a short answer, but everything past that is a subjective experience - is it good? Is it bad? Is it too much or too little? It would all depend on who one asked.
As for him... ]
I would say that in an ideal world, such things were be experienced in small doses... But I'm hardly qualified to speak on such matters.
[ The doctor stands up for a moment before bending down on one knee before his patient, resting one arm on his elbow as he leans forward. Of all the patients he's had, this is by far the one he's loved the most, and by far the saddest that he's encountered. He doesn't doubt the validity of his words. Hiyori more or less knows the details of his life. Loss after loss, tragic event after tragic event, evened out by the the bursts of good fortune that were no more warranted than the misfortune.
But how did you reach out to someone who's life was controlled by happenstance rather than effort? He had resigned himself to it a long time ago. But Hiyori was a scientist and a doctor, and he could do no such thing. ]
... No, I would say this world is not ideal, not when I have to see someone so precious to me suffer and say such heartbreaking things.
[ He seems to consider reaching out, but he keeps his his hand by his side for a little while longer. He wants to push this matter just a little bit further before he gives up on a voluntary agreement. ]
Are you certain? I truly believe that we're close to perfecting out treatments, and all tests thus far have had positive outcomes. Now, your case is a little more advanced, but even so, I believe that you would be the ideal candidate.
[ Well - perhaps that's not quite right. His advanced case meant that it would be a bit of a stretch, but they needed to do a proper stress test on their methods regardless. It was necessary to be able to treat advanced cases such as this as well, otherwise what was the point? No, catching it early was no longer good enough, not for any of them. So it is that he reaches out at last to stroke Komaeda's hair once more, that pained look returning to his face. ]
It's normal to be afraid. I don't doubt your luck, Komaeda-kun. But if I can try to help you, I'll choose to do so every time. I believe that I can... No, I would devote my entire being to proving you wrong, and for the sake of creating the world I wish for.
[ What was hope if not a promise to overcome the impossible? What was it, if not a willingness to even roll the dice hundreds of time to get the desired outcome? But he retracts his hand and lets out a small sigh. Truly, it's no surprise that people were drawn to him - his gentle personality, his fierce determination, that stark refusal to accept things as they were, and the frightening resolve to act as kindly and as cruelty as needed to see his goals through. The world would bend to his whims, not the other way around. Hiyori had always been like that. ]
But perhaps that, too, is just my selfishness. I shouldn't place such a heavy burden on you.
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that's how he gets you, he disguises himself as a cute lil pom friend
[ It's always like this, and Hiyori is always willing to accept each and every affectionate gesture and violent outburst. He adjusts his position, tucking his leg under him to kneel properly as he returns the embrace. He accepted everything, and he gave everything in return, because there was no one else in this world who would. So it is now that he pays no mind to the contradiction, instead rubbing small circles on Komaeda's back. He hopes none of the blood rubs off on his new shirt.
It was unbelievable because, in his own words, he was a person who had no hope. He was complacent. He had become so content with having no future that he was too scared to envision one. Hiyori forgives that as he does all other flaws, though, because it means that he can shape a wonderful future for his charge. He needs no opinions nor objections to his plans, though he knows he'll continue to be met with both... Ah, it was always like that though.
There's a soft gasp when he feels Koameda's lips brushing against his ear, the combination of his warm breath and soft and murmurous voice sending little shivers down his spine. It is, he thinks, a touch unfair to act in such a distracting way while rejecting him so soundly. Such a troublesome boy, causing Hiyori's heart to hammer in his chest at his whim. ]
Invalidate what I've done? No, that's not possible.
[ He's gentle, but firm in this correction, in the same way that he always reserved for such matters. The world bent to his whims, not the other way around. If it would not bend, then he would snap it in half. But he allows him to pull away all the same, tilting his head. ]
What is it, Komaeda-kun?
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they're both enablers, take himm home and just spritz him with water when he acts out
[ It reminds him of the way that his mother used to stroke his hair. His would smile, that same patient smile that he wears now, as she would question him and guide him through each and every problem. His mother would rarely give him a straight answer or shut him down, but she would guide him to the correct conclusion. Komaeda sees himself as that same guiding hand, and that too is part of what he loves so much about him. How long has it been since he saw his mother? How long since someone has tried to guide him, Sou Hiyori, who charmed and surpassed all those around him?
Ah, to think, it was only someone so hopeless and broken that could find the confidence to do so. Hiyori chuckles. Truly, this world was full of trash. ]
It's in my nature to reject cynicism, [ He agrees. He was not a man who would accept that he could not do something, no matter what that thing might be. That was, in concept, the nature of Ultimates. In practice, he has been consistently disappointed. He allows his grip to loosen, unconsciously leaning into that touch, cheeks tinting pink despite his best efforts to maintain his composure. ]
And why should I say such a thing? You say these things, Komaeda-kun, but I have yet to see any reason why I shouldn't do as I please. I have done the impossible, and I will continue to do so. [ He lets out a little sigh, loosening his grip. ]
So tell me, why I should lose faith in my abilities now?
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just let them have a cute domestic life and hopefully not torment their neighbors too much
You're right. I don't have need for you, nor anyone aside from my two companions. We've already done more than generations of talent have.
[ The talented, the untalented, they were all a single entity when presented before ASUNARO's geniuses. He's undeterred by this, though it has made the outside world boring for him. Hiyori found his own enjoyment in toying with and breaking people. He found his case experiments and he turned both those with and without so-called talent alike into something more useful to the world than their worthless lives otherwise would have been.
He knows that Komaeda won't understand, and that is fine. So he leans forward with his cute, wonderful, beloved patient in his arms, deliberately pulling him out of reach of the pen and paper alike. He holds him tight to keep him from disappearing from his arms, supporting the back of his head with one hand while the other remains wrapped around his waist. ]
But I love you, Komaeda-kun. You and no one else. I've met you so many times, and each time I've only fallen more in love with you. I told you, didn't I? I'll make no apologies for my love alone.
[ He squeezes tighter for just a moment, closing his eyes as he breathes in his scent. Linens and blood, the lingering scent of the shampoo he uses, the feeling of his body which always runs so cool. Hiyori takes all off that in for just a moment more before he looses his grip, letting his arms sink down. ]
So, you should understand why I also won't apologize for wanting to help the person I love most, nor will I explain it. When I see you, my heart races, and I all at once remember why I've chosen this path. To see the person I love most find happiness and hope themselves... Yes, I can think of nothing I want more from this life.
[ Is that selfish? Perhaps, but he's used up all his talent and hopes on others already. For the sake of his own success, Hiyori allowed his talents to be utilized - by those he loved, by those he didn't, by those who could only be of use to him by acting as stepping stones. So, he thinks that by now it's only fair that he should choose to live and help those who he loves and those who he pleases. He picks the goals he wants, picks the patients he wants, and picks the love he wants.
Ahhh, he always such a romantic thinker. No wonder Komaeda sees him as so foolish. Then, before he can be rejected, he quickly adds: ]
It's alright, Komaeda-kun. I don't mind if my feelings are unrequited. You understand that by now, right? But all the same, even if you too refuse to acknowledge me, I will continue to love you with my entire being.
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THEY WILL BE LOUD look maybe they'll get lucky and get the neighbors that are never home
Hm... You need not worry, you've already scarred my beautiful body. Fortunately, you've missed my face each time. [ he seems amused by this, rather than upset. ] Perhaps it was a mistake to tell you. I could have made you fall in love with "Sou Hiyori" normally, and you could have accepted my love normally. You would fall in love with me, and I could remind you of it over and over again. Listen to me carefully now, okay? I want you to burn these words into your mind, even if you can only hang onto them for but a moment.
[ He smiles, the sad little smile of a person who is so used to their relationship dramatically changing with the reveal of who they are. It had happened more often when he was younger. Once people found out exactly who he was, or rather what he was, they would change their behavior. Even now, his reputation serves him well. He loves that very much, and it suits his purposes - there's no such thing as too many connections, and no such thing as too much rapport - but it does sometimes tire him. They admired him, they idolized him, they looked for everything from him. Ah, such tiring people...
But this, too, had an interesting result, and so he doesn't quite regret it. He reaches his hand up to cup Komaeda's face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. He wants to say that love is never a mistake, but it so often is. It's a mistake for him to love the Ultimates. It's a mistake to love Hiyori, too, and one that so many have made. But loving the Ultimate Lucky Student is not a mistake, he thinks - it was fate and it was luck that had brought this person to him.
It's an odd room. The cameras were easily identified in every other room, meant to be seen, but there's nothing of the such visible here. There were no windows. There was nothing at all that seemed to break the absolute privacy that Hiyori preferred for himself. That was deliberate, of course - ASUNARO monitored him closely, but he demanded privacy from all others. ]
I believe that you'll find a worthy heir for me. I couldn't be the Ultimate Hope, but I believe that such a person exists... Yes, I'm certain that it will be in your generation, though I haven't decided who it'll be just yet.
[ It matters not to him if hope succeeds or dies, and he wants to see the school itself fall. But to have someone with that strength wouldn't offend him. It wouldn't bore him. If such a person existed, Hiyori thinks that he should like to meet him. The Ultimate Hope to meet the Ultimate Despair - he's certain that when one shows themselves, the other will, and, ah, wouldn't things get interesting then? He would ever align himself with the more favorable option.
But he believes that things will get interesting soon. They had so many promising pieces on their gameboard. ]
But, enough of that. Those people are of interest to me for how they'll succed me. But the one I love is you, Komaeda-kun. Do you understand? No, because you have never been loved... But love is as important as hope. Love is what allows you to overcome all despair. Love is what hope is born from. It's irrational and foolish and it's often a mistake.
But my love is never a mistake. I don't love you for your talent. I don't love you for your lack of it. I love you for your kindness. [ He kisses his forehead. ] I love you for your passion. [ The tip of his nose. ] I love your thoughts. I love you for every broken piece of you. [ One cheek, and then the other, before he leans forward to let his forehead rest against Komaeda's, bringing his other hand up to hold his face in place. ] I love you because you're a person who I want to fill up with hope, who I want to see drowning in love... Ahahaha, one day you'll understand what ecstasy it is to be able to love a person freely. And you'll understand what I mean when I say that I love you as Sou Hiyori alone, and I love you because you are Nagito Komaeda, my most precious person.
[ And he finishes what he has to say, leaning forward to capture his lips now, a soft and sweet kiss for a boy who no one has ever shown affection. ]
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true but look like they're both rich af couldn't they just like buy out the adjacent apartments
[ Fall in love with him. Komaeda, who could only think of love as something to apply to conceptual matters, is the one who he wants to love him more than anyone. But he's such a broken person, would he even be able to recognize that feeling when it bubbled up in his chest? Could he even tell it apart from his adoration of an ideal that only existed in his head? He adores the love that his patient has for hope, for those that represented hope to him, that pure and earnest love that he uses as a stand in for true affection. Yet, it is just a stand in all the same. Humans should love other humans. They should fall in love with a person, experience those ups and downs and that uncontrollable flush of emotions, and they should know what it is to be loved at least once before they die.
Hiyori doesn't feel much. He's never felt true guilt about his actions. He's practical, cruel, selfish, and determined to survive - no, to thrive no matter what the cost. But his love is pure and honest, more than any other emotion. That's why he always wants to share it with his partners, just for a little while, just enough that they've received proper compensation for the service that they'll do for him in turn. He needs no service from Komaeda, but he want to share that love all the same. Although... He supposes this one would do a service for him, too.
He wonders how long it'll be before he gets a phone call. Ah, well... That's fine, though. It will give him the opportunity to let them know that this is his patient. His dear, dear patient, who was so frail. They only need ensure they were taking proper care of him. That, he thinks, should be enough to do away with any problems. They were afraid of him, their once-in-a-generation prodigy. Their prodigy, who would ensure they properly loved his cute little project.
His cute little project, who's knew hope yet had so much to learn about love. Love his often painful, so while his shoulders jerk and he winces, it's an affectionate smile that he offers when he pulls away. One hand slides down to Komaeda's shoulder, slowly, feeling every inch of him as it goes down. He can taste the copper in his mouth - the inside had been punctured, and a bit of red creeps out to stain his lips as it pools in his mouth. He swallows it down. ]
I see... So, you like a little bit of roughness, then? I'll have to remember that. Or perhaps you just wanted to mark me for yourself? Hmmm... I'll have to do the same...
[ This other hand moves now, fingers curling until there's just the tip of his index finger tracing its way down Komaeda's face, down the side of his neck, tracking a little circle where he thinks he might leave his mark, before moving on down his collarbone and chest. ]
What to do, what to do... It should be something everyone can see, don't you think, Komaeda-kun?
[ It should be something easily see, so that everyone can see his love. So everyone can see that Komaeda is a person who is loved. Really, he's just testing to see how much will be tolerated at this point. He's trying to decide if it was unpleasant for him, or if there was something else that had triggered that violent reaction. How long before he either made his distaste for clear, or otherwise scurried off in fear of what was happening inside of himself? He wants to know which will happen first. His finger stops at his torso before tracing its way back up until he can use that had, too, to grip Komaeda's shoulder. He doesn't want to come across as having ill intentions. ]
If you don't like it, you need only say so. I'll stop. You should be able to enjoy it fully when a person loves you.
[ That, at least, isn't a lie. Hiyori would push as far as he could, but he would stop once needed. He doesn't want to hurt this one. Disgust, or fear? Which would chase him off first...? ]
[ He's pleasantly surprised by the shift, though it would be foolish to attribute it to a genuine shift. It was difficult to change such deeply ingrained habits in a person and even moreso for dementia patients. Dementia patients were like diamonds, hard and unbreakable, and one had to be careful with their approach. Repetition was always key, though, and to have put even a tiny chip in the diamond before him feels like a major step. If he were to snap back to his usual reserved state, Hiyori supposes that he could accept that now.
He knows the beat of Komaeda's heart well, the way that it changes and the paces it goes through. It's from interacting with him as a doctor. His hand lingers over that irregular heartbeat, expression warming, fingertips trailing along as his hand is guided further down. He's not quite disappointed to find it reaching the floor. Komaeda is, he thinks, capable of being bold under the right circumstances. He was irrational and emotional, acting at the whims of his heart rather than reason, and that too is something dearly beloved.
He knows what the skin under those clothes feels like. He's touched it so many times, but always as a doctor caring for a patient - precise, focused, and clinical - and he wonders what it might not be like to be able to take the time to explore every inch of that fragile body. He briefly lifts his other hand off of Komaeda's shoulder to check his watch out of habit. No need to when he'd already cleared his schedule for the rest of the day each time this patient came in, knowing that they could last anywhere between minutes and hours.
He slips his hand down into his pocket now, though Komaeda causes him to briefly pause, mouth parting just enough to let a little more blood dribble out as Komaeda licks it off, and shortly thereafter starts working his way down. Still, he manages to find the object he's looking for, and there's a vibration as his phone shuts off. They would always find him when it was important, but he otherwise wants this short bit of time he has left before Komaeda tired of him undisturbed by the buzzing of reminders and texts and calls. ]
You don't don't need to worry, Komaeda-kun. If there's any issues, I'll take care--ah... [ There's a sharp breath as Komaeda runs his tongue over a sensitive area, and his grip on that arm tightens just slightly before he rubs it reassuringly, ] I'll take care of it. You're right, it should be seen, and if anyone asks, you should tell them that you are loved by the Ultimate Surgeon, Hope Peak's greatest prodigy. You are my most important person.
[ That ought answer any unspoken questions he might have. His name being attached might cause issues, but those would be Hiyori's to deal with. He pauses there, taking Komaeda's chin, tilting it up so he can look at him directly. ]
No one can look down on you. It will be the same as looking down on me, so you only need tell me if they do. Do you understand?
[ It is perhaps a touch dramatic, even repetitive, but it's important, and it's something that needs to be understood. Hiyori will not tolerate others looking down on him. Besides, this seems more effective than trying to build up the other's value by their worth alone.
Best not to get into how he might handle it if somebody chose to disregard that warning. ]
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then he gets kicked outside and can't kiss him for hours bc he just ate pure sugar
[ The light tone and airy little laugh that follow suggest that it's a joke. It is, but only in that he would forgive it each and every time. After all, he had worked so hard to protect the identity of Sou Hiyori. Sou Hiyori, an exceptionally skilled member off the majority, a gentle and kind doctor, a man who was so well loved by all who met him. He had guarded it carefully, not letting his act slip for even an instant. He dated without ever falling in love, he formed friendships and connections without ever feeling a scrap of affection. He worked miracles while boredom overlook him because it was all just so mundane.
So, he can forgive it if Komaeda doesn't understand that he would make the world bend to him without fail. He didn't need allies nor approval for that.
Komaeda believed it his duty to be looked down on. Then perhaps Hiyori should kill each and every one of them, until there's no one left who could do so. He could bypass the call, the warning, and do them the kindness off ending it quickly rather than watching them flounder and fail. The thought of that brilliant red stain brings a new wave of warmth to his chest, quashing the growing agitation.]
Hm... Perhaps my name no longer has any value, then? How troublesome. Have I gotten complacent too?
[ He hasn't. But he allows that phone to be pulled from his pocket without any particular objection. ]
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it's not normal but midori is a vampire so it probably would be fine to feed it to him
Komaeda, his precious patient, who had gained the love that no ultimate could now. Komaeda, whose love was so pure and honest that it made his heart skip a beat. Komaeda, his cute, precious patient, whose brilliance was wasted. For that cute Komaeda, he forces a pained smile that he gradually trains into something more natural. He offers a nervous little laugh in response to the final question, remorse creeping into it. ]
Y-yes, of course... [ His voice falters for just a second before he corrects it, ] I apologize, Komaeda-kun, I shouldn't demand so much of you.
[ He has no interest in the thoughts of other Ultimates, who all came to the same drab conclusions. It was like glimpsing into an echo chamber, back then and even now. It so often manage to be even more tiring than dealing with the drab majority, who had least made every effort to struggle their way to talent and would occasionally stumble onto something of interest. Every once in awhile one of them would come to him, and he would see their charm and talent, and he would extract every last thought and feeling out as he showered them with every last bit of affection.
Ultimates were no different. If he wanted to, he only need take them, and they would bend before him. He could give them all of his love, but their thoughts were rarely anything he couldn't think of himself. When compared to that, the person before him and their blunt rejection was something that could leave his heart pounding in his chest.
He shifts the subject: ]
And I did promise that I would discharge you if you cooperated, didn't I? You did well, and I'm sure that you've had enough of me for one day, so why don't I write you that letter now? If you wouldn't mind coming back to my office for just a minute... I seem to have forgotten to bring my pen and pad with me.
A DECENT HUMAN BEING FOR ONE THING
I suppose I do. My aide is always scolding me... But, we should go together.
[ There is no aide when he cares for Komaeda, though. There was no one except for Hiyori. He considers offering to transfer him to another doctor, but decides against it. It was too likely that he would take up on it, and that would lead to further complications. The issue of him wanting to continue caring for his favorite patient aside, there was the little issue that no one else wanted him. It was truly poor luck on Komaeda's part that even the most patient of their staff no longer saw him as worth it.
That sentiment had only intensified after he had been been injured for the first time. It was unsightly for their most important doctor to be in need of intense care. But he had taken that in stride as he did all other occurrences. It had been frightening, but no real harm had been done, and he was already working to replace all the inconvenient human parts.
He opens the exam room's door, revealing the dimly lit hallway behind it, patting Komaeda's shoulder as he passes to signify for him to follow. It's a a familiar set of paces down a hallway that they've walked so many times before. He's disappointed by how short their time together was this round, but he supposes that was his own poor luck showing through. There would be next time. Around the corner and just a little ways down, nested away near a corner, and he stops at the door. He tugs a key out of his pocket, with a cute little black cat keychain attached to it. ]
I'd like to ask you one more question, Komaeda-kun.
A REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL MICROSCOPE. AND EVEN THEN IT'S ACTUALLY JUST DUST ON THE SCREEN.
[ It's a joke, of course. He knows well enough that each and ever offer would be readily refuted. If he were able to do so, Hiyori would like to ensure that he never had to let Komaeda go again. He would lock him up, chain him down, and love him so dearly that he'd never even need to think about another person again. He would meet him again every day, fall in love with him again every day, reminded him of who he was and the love they shared. But such unsavory behavior would only make his beloved resent him, and so Hiyori settles for this fleeting time.
He pushes the door open, allowing Komaeda to go first and shutting it behind him. He clicks the lock as he always does to avoid needless interruptions. Then he paces over to the desk and sits behind it, taking out the pen and pad. It's filled out quickly and efficiently, the top page torn off, to show that he's good to his word before proceeding. The moment the other wanted to leave, he only need snatch it from his hand.
It's only once he's done all of this, when he can look directly at Komaeda, that he's willing to ask his question. ]
Komaeda-kun, if you were able to cure the diseases afflicting you, would you choose to do so? If I were to offer you a cure right now, would you take it?
[ Despite the patient and kind air he kept about him, despite the massive ethics breach that he had committed here, Hiyori was nonetheless befitting of being called an Ultimate. He took hiss job seriously, and he didn't believe in offering false hope to patients that would only lead to more pain in the end, and so it was only when he had a cure that he asked. Normally he can feel relatively confident about the answer - some would jump at any sliver of hope, and some were too far gone to even consider such a possibility. He wonders which side this one will land on. ]
OH MY GOODDDD THAT'S MY NEW WAY OF EXPLAINING HIM, HE REALLY IS
[ Komaeda's love is warm and pure, just as his own is, and the thought of it bubbles up in his chest, and he wishes he could hang onto that feeling forever. He wants to give unapologetic words of love in return, but he refrains for now, not wanting to ruin this chance to speak with him about such an important matter. It would decide how everything proceeded from here.
He nods once. It was about the diseases that had tormented his patient for so long. It was about an effort to uproot his entire life, to shape him into a completely different person than he presently was. He breathes out as Komaeda continues, closing his eyes as he considers the question presented to him. ]
Yes, of course... [ He brings his hand up to his chin, fingers curled as he deliberates. He sets the paper down on the desk so that Komaeda need not even suffer the guilt of tearing it away from him should his answer prove to be unsatisfactory. ] Well, I think I would say that luck is its own kind of force of nature. How else can you describe all of the right factors coming together to cause a person ill or good fortune by simple chance?
[ He shakes his head. He's not superstitious by any means, but nor does he think it's wrong to call a series of coincidences luck. It's a short answer, but everything past that is a subjective experience - is it good? Is it bad? Is it too much or too little? It would all depend on who one asked.
As for him... ]
I would say that in an ideal world, such things were be experienced in small doses... But I'm hardly qualified to speak on such matters.
he gobbles them all up like the big bad wolf
But how did you reach out to someone who's life was controlled by happenstance rather than effort? He had resigned himself to it a long time ago. But Hiyori was a scientist and a doctor, and he could do no such thing. ]
... No, I would say this world is not ideal, not when I have to see someone so precious to me suffer and say such heartbreaking things.
[ He seems to consider reaching out, but he keeps his his hand by his side for a little while longer. He wants to push this matter just a little bit further before he gives up on a voluntary agreement. ]
Are you certain? I truly believe that we're close to perfecting out treatments, and all tests thus far have had positive outcomes. Now, your case is a little more advanced, but even so, I believe that you would be the ideal candidate.
[ Well - perhaps that's not quite right. His advanced case meant that it would be a bit of a stretch, but they needed to do a proper stress test on their methods regardless. It was necessary to be able to treat advanced cases such as this as well, otherwise what was the point? No, catching it early was no longer good enough, not for any of them. So it is that he reaches out at last to stroke Komaeda's hair once more, that pained look returning to his face. ]
It's normal to be afraid. I don't doubt your luck, Komaeda-kun. But if I can try to help you, I'll choose to do so every time. I believe that I can... No, I would devote my entire being to proving you wrong, and for the sake of creating the world I wish for.
[ What was hope if not a promise to overcome the impossible? What was it, if not a willingness to even roll the dice hundreds of time to get the desired outcome? But he retracts his hand and lets out a small sigh. Truly, it's no surprise that people were drawn to him - his gentle personality, his fierce determination, that stark refusal to accept things as they were, and the frightening resolve to act as kindly and as cruelty as needed to see his goals through. The world would bend to his whims, not the other way around. Hiyori had always been like that. ]
But perhaps that, too, is just my selfishness. I shouldn't place such a heavy burden on you.
that's how he gets you, he disguises himself as a cute lil pom friend
It was unbelievable because, in his own words, he was a person who had no hope. He was complacent. He had become so content with having no future that he was too scared to envision one. Hiyori forgives that as he does all other flaws, though, because it means that he can shape a wonderful future for his charge. He needs no opinions nor objections to his plans, though he knows he'll continue to be met with both... Ah, it was always like that though.
There's a soft gasp when he feels Koameda's lips brushing against his ear, the combination of his warm breath and soft and murmurous voice sending little shivers down his spine. It is, he thinks, a touch unfair to act in such a distracting way while rejecting him so soundly. Such a troublesome boy, causing Hiyori's heart to hammer in his chest at his whim. ]
Invalidate what I've done? No, that's not possible.
[ He's gentle, but firm in this correction, in the same way that he always reserved for such matters. The world bent to his whims, not the other way around. If it would not bend, then he would snap it in half. But he allows him to pull away all the same, tilting his head. ]
What is it, Komaeda-kun?
they're both enablers, take himm home and just spritz him with water when he acts out
Ah, to think, it was only someone so hopeless and broken that could find the confidence to do so. Hiyori chuckles. Truly, this world was full of trash. ]
It's in my nature to reject cynicism, [ He agrees. He was not a man who would accept that he could not do something, no matter what that thing might be. That was, in concept, the nature of Ultimates. In practice, he has been consistently disappointed. He allows his grip to loosen, unconsciously leaning into that touch, cheeks tinting pink despite his best efforts to maintain his composure. ]
And why should I say such a thing? You say these things, Komaeda-kun, but I have yet to see any reason why I shouldn't do as I please. I have done the impossible, and I will continue to do so.
[ He lets out a little sigh, loosening his grip. ]
So tell me, why I should lose faith in my abilities now?
just let them have a cute domestic life and hopefully not torment their neighbors too much
[ The talented, the untalented, they were all a single entity when presented before ASUNARO's geniuses. He's undeterred by this, though it has made the outside world boring for him. Hiyori found his own enjoyment in toying with and breaking people. He found his case experiments and he turned both those with and without so-called talent alike into something more useful to the world than their worthless lives otherwise would have been.
He knows that Komaeda won't understand, and that is fine. So he leans forward with his cute, wonderful, beloved patient in his arms, deliberately pulling him out of reach of the pen and paper alike. He holds him tight to keep him from disappearing from his arms, supporting the back of his head with one hand while the other remains wrapped around his waist. ]
But I love you, Komaeda-kun. You and no one else. I've met you so many times, and each time I've only fallen more in love with you. I told you, didn't I? I'll make no apologies for my love alone.
[ He squeezes tighter for just a moment, closing his eyes as he breathes in his scent. Linens and blood, the lingering scent of the shampoo he uses, the feeling of his body which always runs so cool. Hiyori takes all off that in for just a moment more before he looses his grip, letting his arms sink down. ]
So, you should understand why I also won't apologize for wanting to help the person I love most, nor will I explain it. When I see you, my heart races, and I all at once remember why I've chosen this path. To see the person I love most find happiness and hope themselves... Yes, I can think of nothing I want more from this life.
[ Is that selfish? Perhaps, but he's used up all his talent and hopes on others already. For the sake of his own success, Hiyori allowed his talents to be utilized - by those he loved, by those he didn't, by those who could only be of use to him by acting as stepping stones. So, he thinks that by now it's only fair that he should choose to live and help those who he loves and those who he pleases. He picks the goals he wants, picks the patients he wants, and picks the love he wants.
Ahhh, he always such a romantic thinker. No wonder Komaeda sees him as so foolish. Then, before he can be rejected, he quickly adds: ]
It's alright, Komaeda-kun. I don't mind if my feelings are unrequited. You understand that by now, right? But all the same, even if you too refuse to acknowledge me, I will continue to love you with my entire being.
THEY WILL BE LOUD look maybe they'll get lucky and get the neighbors that are never home
[ He smiles, the sad little smile of a person who is so used to their relationship dramatically changing with the reveal of who they are. It had happened more often when he was younger. Once people found out exactly who he was, or rather what he was, they would change their behavior. Even now, his reputation serves him well. He loves that very much, and it suits his purposes - there's no such thing as too many connections, and no such thing as too much rapport - but it does sometimes tire him. They admired him, they idolized him, they looked for everything from him. Ah, such tiring people...
But this, too, had an interesting result, and so he doesn't quite regret it. He reaches his hand up to cup Komaeda's face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. He wants to say that love is never a mistake, but it so often is. It's a mistake for him to love the Ultimates. It's a mistake to love Hiyori, too, and one that so many have made. But loving the Ultimate Lucky Student is not a mistake, he thinks - it was fate and it was luck that had brought this person to him.
It's an odd room. The cameras were easily identified in every other room, meant to be seen, but there's nothing of the such visible here. There were no windows. There was nothing at all that seemed to break the absolute privacy that Hiyori preferred for himself. That was deliberate, of course - ASUNARO monitored him closely, but he demanded privacy from all others. ]
I believe that you'll find a worthy heir for me. I couldn't be the Ultimate Hope, but I believe that such a person exists... Yes, I'm certain that it will be in your generation, though I haven't decided who it'll be just yet.
[ It matters not to him if hope succeeds or dies, and he wants to see the school itself fall. But to have someone with that strength wouldn't offend him. It wouldn't bore him. If such a person existed, Hiyori thinks that he should like to meet him. The Ultimate Hope to meet the Ultimate Despair - he's certain that when one shows themselves, the other will, and, ah, wouldn't things get interesting then? He would ever align himself with the more favorable option.
But he believes that things will get interesting soon. They had so many promising pieces on their gameboard. ]
But, enough of that. Those people are of interest to me for how they'll succed me. But the one I love is you, Komaeda-kun. Do you understand? No, because you have never been loved... But love is as important as hope. Love is what allows you to overcome all despair. Love is what hope is born from. It's irrational and foolish and it's often a mistake.
But my love is never a mistake. I don't love you for your talent. I don't love you for your lack of it. I love you for your kindness. [ He kisses his forehead. ] I love you for your passion. [ The tip of his nose. ] I love your thoughts. I love you for every broken piece of you. [ One cheek, and then the other, before he leans forward to let his forehead rest against Komaeda's, bringing his other hand up to hold his face in place. ] I love you because you're a person who I want to fill up with hope, who I want to see drowning in love... Ahahaha, one day you'll understand what ecstasy it is to be able to love a person freely. And you'll understand what I mean when I say that I love you as Sou Hiyori alone, and I love you because you are Nagito Komaeda, my most precious person.
[ And he finishes what he has to say, leaning forward to capture his lips now, a soft and sweet kiss for a boy who no one has ever shown affection. ]
true but look like they're both rich af couldn't they just like buy out the adjacent apartments
Hiyori doesn't feel much. He's never felt true guilt about his actions. He's practical, cruel, selfish, and determined to survive - no, to thrive no matter what the cost. But his love is pure and honest, more than any other emotion. That's why he always wants to share it with his partners, just for a little while, just enough that they've received proper compensation for the service that they'll do for him in turn. He needs no service from Komaeda, but he want to share that love all the same. Although... He supposes this one would do a service for him, too.
He wonders how long it'll be before he gets a phone call. Ah, well... That's fine, though. It will give him the opportunity to let them know that this is his patient. His dear, dear patient, who was so frail. They only need ensure they were taking proper care of him. That, he thinks, should be enough to do away with any problems. They were afraid of him, their once-in-a-generation prodigy. Their prodigy, who would ensure they properly loved his cute little project.
His cute little project, who's knew hope yet had so much to learn about love. Love his often painful, so while his shoulders jerk and he winces, it's an affectionate smile that he offers when he pulls away. One hand slides down to Komaeda's shoulder, slowly, feeling every inch of him as it goes down. He can taste the copper in his mouth - the inside had been punctured, and a bit of red creeps out to stain his lips as it pools in his mouth. He swallows it down. ]
I see... So, you like a little bit of roughness, then? I'll have to remember that. Or perhaps you just wanted to mark me for yourself? Hmmm... I'll have to do the same...
[ This other hand moves now, fingers curling until there's just the tip of his index finger tracing its way down Komaeda's face, down the side of his neck, tracking a little circle where he thinks he might leave his mark, before moving on down his collarbone and chest. ]
What to do, what to do... It should be something everyone can see, don't you think, Komaeda-kun?
[ It should be something easily see, so that everyone can see his love. So everyone can see that Komaeda is a person who is loved. Really, he's just testing to see how much will be tolerated at this point. He's trying to decide if it was unpleasant for him, or if there was something else that had triggered that violent reaction. How long before he either made his distaste for clear, or otherwise scurried off in fear of what was happening inside of himself? He wants to know which will happen first. His finger stops at his torso before tracing its way back up until he can use that had, too, to grip Komaeda's shoulder. He doesn't want to come across as having ill intentions. ]
If you don't like it, you need only say so. I'll stop. You should be able to enjoy it fully when a person loves you.
[ That, at least, isn't a lie. Hiyori would push as far as he could, but he would stop once needed. He doesn't want to hurt this one. Disgust, or fear? Which would chase him off first...? ]
lbr they're just two rich horny bastards
He knows the beat of Komaeda's heart well, the way that it changes and the paces it goes through. It's from interacting with him as a doctor. His hand lingers over that irregular heartbeat, expression warming, fingertips trailing along as his hand is guided further down. He's not quite disappointed to find it reaching the floor. Komaeda is, he thinks, capable of being bold under the right circumstances. He was irrational and emotional, acting at the whims of his heart rather than reason, and that too is something dearly beloved.
He knows what the skin under those clothes feels like. He's touched it so many times, but always as a doctor caring for a patient - precise, focused, and clinical - and he wonders what it might not be like to be able to take the time to explore every inch of that fragile body. He briefly lifts his other hand off of Komaeda's shoulder to check his watch out of habit. No need to when he'd already cleared his schedule for the rest of the day each time this patient came in, knowing that they could last anywhere between minutes and hours.
He slips his hand down into his pocket now, though Komaeda causes him to briefly pause, mouth parting just enough to let a little more blood dribble out as Komaeda licks it off, and shortly thereafter starts working his way down. Still, he manages to find the object he's looking for, and there's a vibration as his phone shuts off. They would always find him when it was important, but he otherwise wants this short bit of time he has left before Komaeda tired of him undisturbed by the buzzing of reminders and texts and calls. ]
You don't don't need to worry, Komaeda-kun. If there's any issues, I'll take care--ah... [ There's a sharp breath as Komaeda runs his tongue over a sensitive area, and his grip on that arm tightens just slightly before he rubs it reassuringly, ] I'll take care of it. You're right, it should be seen, and if anyone asks, you should tell them that you are loved by the Ultimate Surgeon, Hope Peak's greatest prodigy. You are my most important person.
[ That ought answer any unspoken questions he might have. His name being attached might cause issues, but those would be Hiyori's to deal with. He pauses there, taking Komaeda's chin, tilting it up so he can look at him directly. ]
No one can look down on you. It will be the same as looking down on me, so you only need tell me if they do. Do you understand?
[ It is perhaps a touch dramatic, even repetitive, but it's important, and it's something that needs to be understood. Hiyori will not tolerate others looking down on him. Besides, this seems more effective than trying to build up the other's value by their worth alone.
Best not to get into how he might handle it if somebody chose to disregard that warning. ]
then he gets kicked outside and can't kiss him for hours bc he just ate pure sugar
[ The light tone and airy little laugh that follow suggest that it's a joke. It is, but only in that he would forgive it each and every time. After all, he had worked so hard to protect the identity of Sou Hiyori. Sou Hiyori, an exceptionally skilled member off the majority, a gentle and kind doctor, a man who was so well loved by all who met him. He had guarded it carefully, not letting his act slip for even an instant. He dated without ever falling in love, he formed friendships and connections without ever feeling a scrap of affection. He worked miracles while boredom overlook him because it was all just so mundane.
So, he can forgive it if Komaeda doesn't understand that he would make the world bend to him without fail. He didn't need allies nor approval for that.
Komaeda believed it his duty to be looked down on. Then perhaps Hiyori should kill each and every one of them, until there's no one left who could do so. He could bypass the call, the warning, and do them the kindness off ending it quickly rather than watching them flounder and fail. The thought of that brilliant red stain brings a new wave of warmth to his chest, quashing the growing agitation.]
Hm... Perhaps my name no longer has any value, then? How troublesome. Have I gotten complacent too?
[ He hasn't. But he allows that phone to be pulled from his pocket without any particular objection. ]
not soon enough
yes so hurry up and stab him preferably in the stomach
they were just meant to be
IT'S FINE harai is going to kill him now so we don't have to worry
he did know better and has done this before....... but they still need him so maybe he live
it's fiiiiiiiiiine asunaro controls the cops too so they technically already have him
THEY JUST LITERALLY CONTROL EVERYTHING????? it's crazy idgi
SEE THIS IS WHY THEY NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT NEIGHBORS midori got connections
somebody needs to call keiji in particular. or alice. alice can kill him.
MTTD omg i'm CRYING!! poor alice, gonna crack under the pressure (jk he'd probably be happy to)
dear god he really does have junko energy doesn't he? i shudder to think of those two coordinating
dear lord now we really can't let that happen, that would be a disaster
being crushed by the weight of retail hell but i'm team househusband sorry
he's already mean and hot though????? look at him
idk he's constantly thinkin' bout killing all of komaeda's not-friends i'd say that's mean
NO SEE THIS IS GREAT then he can get new friends who don't hate him and aren't terrible
to be fair he'd at least tell him to be friends w/ ppl who don't hate him