[ There's a sharp sound as he's pushed back down, but any discomfort caused by that doesn't last long. He stares up at Komaeda and murmurs his name once more, admiring the sight of him hovering above him. He loves him for everything he is - broken, empty, a person who no one could possibly care for. He loves those empty eyes, devoid of all hope, and that messy white hair, that thin body that's barely holding itself together. His smile, though, he thinks is the nicest thing about him. That miserable smile, devoid of all happiness. It's like looking into a mirror.
He squirms beneath him once his wrist is grabbed, not quite liking the sensation of being pinned down, like this, but between Komaeda bracketing him and holding his wrist in place he has little room for movement. It doesn't last any longer than it takes for him to settle into the kiss, and despite rejecting it the first time, Hiyori seems to have readily accepted this as his preferred way of taking his pills. His free hand comes up to touch Komaeda's chest, fingers trailing down until he reaches his waistband. He's always so quick to forget about his work. ]
[ He shivers as Komaeda guides his hand down lower before his fingers twitch as it's suddenly pulled away. The drugs have worn off just enough for him to remember how desperately he wants this through the dull ache and the fog that's still clouding his mind. It'll fade soon enough as the next dose kicks in, but for now all he can think about is how nice it would be to run his hands along the bare skin hidden under his shirt, hanging loosely off his skin, and how easy it would be to undo those buttons and then--
There's a little whimper as Komaeda pulls away, but with both his hands currently taken there's not much that he can do until he's released. ]
Hm? We have time...
[ He murmurs, and another tremble courses through his body as Komaeda grinds against him. He inhales sharply, quivering beneath him, face flushed, and there's visible disappointment when he mentions getting up. Then his eyes widen a touch, as though realizing something important. ]
It can wait...
[ He lifts himself up slightly, just enough to wrap one arm around Komaeda's back and to place the other on his neck as he pulls him back down. Fortunately, he's still drugged up enough that it wouldn't be hard to break his grip, but Hiyori sure is trying now. ]
[ It must be a side effect of the blood levels shifting from an extreme high to a low, albeit one that is steadily rising once more, because even compared to before he seems rather sensitive. Pleasure and desire intermingle, rising with each kiss, and his breath starts to quicken. He tilts his head slightly to one side as Komaeda works at his jaw, closing his eyes briefly as the last remaining thoughts empty out of his head. He feels that soft hair brushing against his skin, first his face and then his chin and neck, and he reaches one trembling hand up to brush some of it out of his face so he can see it better.
His chest heaves up and down, and there's a little whimper when he pauses before continuing Hiyori is completely at his partner's mercy. His body quivers under the touch of his delicate fingers, and each kiss makes him ache for another one. Was it luck, or had he started to notice which areas are sensitive? Either way, each time he hits on one it sends another shiver down his spine, mixing in with sharp little breaths here and there. Amazing, he thinks, for any person to be able to draw this reaction out of him. He loves him... he loves Komaeda... ]
Komaeda--mmph...
[ He's cut off by cold fingers touching his skin, causing him to squirm, before those fingers run up and draw a low moan out of him. His ear is particularly sensitive, and he has to bite his lip to keep from being too noisy. That proves to be futile, and it's truly undignified. His face is burning, and Komaeda draws another moan out of him just by adding his tongue into the mix. ]
A-ah... Komaeda-kun...
[ That's a truly mean request. The smile plastered on his face twitches now as he tries to process that request. Beg? Ahhh, what a horrible, humiliating idea, and there's no way he could. But some part of his brain, which is afflicted and and increasingly desperate, must disagree with that more sensible part of him because what comes out isn't a no but - ]
P-please, Komaeda-kun... I'll do it...
[ This is probably as good of a sign as any that the newest hit drugs is starting to settle in. It doesn't take terribly long. ]
[ To hear those words and to have them combined with soft kisses is nothing less than bliss, and he reaches his hand up to touch his face before it suddenly stops as the last sentence is reached. His fingers twitch, and before he can process that Komaeda is already off of him, and he feels an odd sort of emptiness now that the weight has been removed. His hand falls back down, face red and his breathing coming out rough, bemused. What just happened...? ]
Komaeda-kun...?
[ He runs through the sequence again, and he's certain that every sign had pointed toward him being interested. He had been on top of him, and showering him with kisses, and he had asked him that, and then...? He finally looks down to the laptop, and it finally occurs to him that he had was being soundly refused and his expression crumbles in the face of such obvious rejection, especially one where he can't quite seem to figure out what it was that he did wrong. He kind of looks like he's about to cry for a few seconds there, but that might just be that he's dewy-eyed after being teased.
He also understands that he's being asked to finish writing a stuffy letter for a needless matter that could be covered at a later date, something that he hates doing at the best of times and has no deadline nor obligation to do, and that quite upsets him. Hiyori no longer wants to (as if he ever did,) and he's reaffirmed the idea that he does not need to. As such, he reaches his hand out to snap it shut. With that done, he'll roll onto his stomach, taking the laptop with him and laying right on top of it, and grab a pillow to stuff his reddened face into. His voice comes out muffled when he finally offers a rejection to that statement. ]
Hiyori does turn his head when shook, and the pillow is easily taken from him, and his chin falls down on the arm beneath it. He rests his head in the crook of his elbow, fixing Komaeda with a sullen look. It seems that he's a little upset about being teased with one thing before having work shoved back at him. It truly is difficult dealing with a person on drugs, as all the bad behaviors that are usually tempered by good sense and reason suddenly lack both. In this case, he's just aware enough to be petulant yet not enough to reason through it.
He's embarrassed, and he's feeling a little slighted by being teased so much only to suddenly be directed back to a project that he had no interest in. He should be willing to finish it to get the carrot at the end, given the implications, and normally he certainly would have. But right now all he can think is that it could have waited until later. ]
I can just call them... Letters are too impersonal. They'll think I'm looking down on them.
[ Whether that's true or if his mind is just muddling together known facts in order to justify his behavior now is dubious, but he seems to believe it. Hiyori grumbles, moving his arm to block the laptop from being taken. That's his, and he's currently not interested in having to look at it when he's already come up with an adequate solution to the problem. A phone call would be quicker and more efficient, and less impersonal.
... But he does seem to relent at little at the end. ]
We can do something else.
Edited (little extra flavor text) 2021-12-16 16:51 (UTC)
[ Komaeda is right, his words are slurring. Hiyori is blissfully ignorant of this fact, but it would make it blatantly obvious to anyone he spoke with that he was out of his mind. Those in his clinic were already aware that he was on a leave due to personal circumstances, but not of the specific details. Even so, there's no doubt that he would regret that personal embarrassment later on, just as he would going further with Komaeda in his current state. If he were capable of it, he would see the various problems with this plan.
Really, it was always a mistake while intoxicated. The drugs are settling in more fully now, and he lets out another little sigh... He did say that, didn't he? He jerks a little as Komaeda pulls at his shirt. ]
I haven't...
[ He sighs as he forces himself to sit back up, still displeased but willing enough to at least ease up a little. It still sounds fun, and he's wanted to go on a date with Komaeda for awhile. He does yawn, though, frowning as he considers the issue of calling versus writing once more. Still, he leans to pop the laptop back open. ]
Mm... Maybe I should call anyway. I should check up on them... I take difficult cases, so if they're handling those... [ Sigh. ] What else do you want me to write?
[ His moods really are erratic, but Hiyori must sense something off because he scoots over a little and wraps his arms around Komaeda from the side. There's no effort to do anything else, but he does rest his head on his shoulder briefly. He rubs his arm, nothing more than a reassuring motion. ]
Sorry, sorry...
[ It's slurred and and not at all polished, but the tone suggests that he's used to this sort of reaction. It's part of what makes being in a relationship with him difficult, after all. There were so many reasons, but one of them was his schedule. No matter how kind and patient, eventually his constant fussing over work and this and that would cause some rift if he wasn't careful to maintain things and end them early... Work, work, work, that truly is all he ever thought of.
He smiles, trying to reassure him. ]
I'll finish up, and I'll give you my undivided attention today, okay?
[ At least he doesn't seem to be questioning the "stepping down" bit yet. ]
[ He lets out a little sigh, but he doesn't seem at all surprised by that reaction. It's familiar, even if the reason isn't the same. He briefly considers sending him home for the day. That was normally what he did, offering them a chance to cool down. They cold reconcile once tensions had eased, and the relationship would be cut off shortly after. But then, normally he had more control over himself and the situation. Normally his head wasn't foggy. ]
... I understand, Komaeda-kun.
[ He doesn't need a verbal response. He sighs again as he pulls away with a small smile, taking the laptop onto his lap and staring at it blearily.
Stepping down briefly... Hiyori doesn't like that wording very much, but he's struggling to think of what he really wants to say. ]
Ah, it's nothing... I'm not very good at writing, I'm afraid...
[ He brings his hand up to his chin, fingers curled as he stares thoughtfully. Hiyori's words are always careful and precise, and so it takes him some time to pick out the ones he wants. This isn't unusual at all.
He blinks a few more times, running his fingers through his hair now as he tries to find the right words. ]
"Stepping down briefly"... Ah, that sounds a bit irresponsible, doesn't it...?
[ It was the same as saying he was dumping all his unfinished tasks, all of his patients, everything on them. ]
They'll feel like I'm going to burden them with my unfinished work...
[ He strokes Komaeda's hair idly as he tries to offer that idea more consideration. It's less an objection to the idea, which isn't registering, as much as the understanding that he would lose face by abruptly dumping his work on others. The laptop is a touchscreen, and he the blinking text indicator will move at his touch. ]
Komaeda-kun... Those things have to be worked out in advance.
[ He runs his hand through his hair again. Hiyori can't think well enough to imagine it properly, but he does understand that it'd be messy. He'll be out for weeks, though, was it already messy...?
He gives a little yawn. ]
Mm... I suppose I could ask Michiru-chan to help.
[ He doesn't sound quite satisfied with that, but it was true that she knew enough, and what she didn't know Hiyori trusts that she'll be able to fill in the gaps. ]
That would be easiest. She tends to call me with a dozen questions instead of emailing back, but...
[ There's a soft laugh, with just a touch of affection to it. He knows Namida well, and she wasn't one to overlook any detail. But at her best, she could accept clear instructions without overthinking it. She's aware of his present state of being, so he supposes this should be one of those times. At any rate, he doesn't think that she would refuse to assist in a temporary transition. He tries to think of which one of his partners would take over and comes up blank, but it doesn't matter... They were both competent enough, so as long as she was willing to cover where they had adequate time...
He strokes Komaeda's hair for a little longer before leaning forward a bit, blinking as he tries to decide what to start with. He supposes he should finish this first... Ah, he really does hate tasks like this... But he seems content enough for the moment.
There's the tapping of keys, and then he deletes it. Type, delete, type, delete, clicking and changing words here and there... Between the two, stepping down for the moment settles better with him, and so he uses that wording. ]
She agreed to handle things in my absence, so it shouldn't be an issue.
[ Hiyori has the look of a child that's been told that they have five minutes to finish a test when they're only halfway finished. ]
Th-thirty minutes...? Komaeda-kun...
[ He looks back to what he's written, but he does slowly nod. He's not comfortable rushing that's to be written for a professional setting, but he supposes it sound be alright to come back to it later. Besides, it's only a few paragraphs. He should be able to manage that. But then, he would also much rather be spending time with Komaeda than staring at this screen. If he didn't have him hovering, he wouldn't be working on it now (or ever.) ]
[ He seems ready to complain, but his mouth snaps shut at the thought of being able to go elsewhere when this is finished. There is a pitiful whimper, as Hiyori puts his full effort into everything, but he can't deny wanting to be done with it either. He stares down with those glazed over eyes, and a distressed look that morphs into a happier one as he considers going to the aquarium with Komaeda.
It might be fun to do other things, but he is a romantic. They could see the fish and jellies, and the otters and seals, and have coffee at a nice little spot, and he'd just get milk in it so he could kiss him a little later... Ah, the clock is ticking, isn't it? ]
Hmm?
[ Sole owner... He interprets that as he pleases in his drugged state. ]
Ahaha... No one could run it as well as I could, they'd need my full support...
[ Tap tap tap... Backspace... Tap tap... He's trying harder at least. Who knew he works well under pressure? ]
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He squirms beneath him once his wrist is grabbed, not quite liking the sensation of being pinned down, like this, but between Komaeda bracketing him and holding his wrist in place he has little room for movement. It doesn't last any longer than it takes for him to settle into the kiss, and despite rejecting it the first time, Hiyori seems to have readily accepted this as his preferred way of taking his pills. His free hand comes up to touch Komaeda's chest, fingers trailing down until he reaches his waistband. He's always so quick to forget about his work. ]
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There's a little whimper as Komaeda pulls away, but with both his hands currently taken there's not much that he can do until he's released. ]
Hm? We have time...
[ He murmurs, and another tremble courses through his body as Komaeda grinds against him. He inhales sharply, quivering beneath him, face flushed, and there's visible disappointment when he mentions getting up. Then his eyes widen a touch, as though realizing something important. ]
It can wait...
[ He lifts himself up slightly, just enough to wrap one arm around Komaeda's back and to place the other on his neck as he pulls him back down. Fortunately, he's still drugged up enough that it wouldn't be hard to break his grip, but Hiyori sure is trying now. ]
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His chest heaves up and down, and there's a little whimper when he pauses before continuing Hiyori is completely at his partner's mercy. His body quivers under the touch of his delicate fingers, and each kiss makes him ache for another one. Was it luck, or had he started to notice which areas are sensitive? Either way, each time he hits on one it sends another shiver down his spine, mixing in with sharp little breaths here and there. Amazing, he thinks, for any person to be able to draw this reaction out of him. He loves him... he loves Komaeda... ]
Komaeda--mmph...
[ He's cut off by cold fingers touching his skin, causing him to squirm, before those fingers run up and draw a low moan out of him. His ear is particularly sensitive, and he has to bite his lip to keep from being too noisy. That proves to be futile, and it's truly undignified. His face is burning, and Komaeda draws another moan out of him just by adding his tongue into the mix. ]
A-ah... Komaeda-kun...
[ That's a truly mean request. The smile plastered on his face twitches now as he tries to process that request. Beg? Ahhh, what a horrible, humiliating idea, and there's no way he could. But some part of his brain, which is afflicted and and increasingly desperate, must disagree with that more sensible part of him because what comes out isn't a no but - ]
P-please, Komaeda-kun... I'll do it...
[ This is probably as good of a sign as any that the newest hit drugs is starting to settle in. It doesn't take terribly long. ]
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Komaeda-kun...?
[ He runs through the sequence again, and he's certain that every sign had pointed toward him being interested. He had been on top of him, and showering him with kisses, and he had asked him that, and then...? He finally looks down to the laptop, and it finally occurs to him that he had was being soundly refused and his expression crumbles in the face of such obvious rejection, especially one where he can't quite seem to figure out what it was that he did wrong. He kind of looks like he's about to cry for a few seconds there, but that might just be that he's dewy-eyed after being teased.
He also understands that he's being asked to finish writing a stuffy letter for a needless matter that could be covered at a later date, something that he hates doing at the best of times and has no deadline nor obligation to do, and that quite upsets him. Hiyori no longer wants to (as if he ever did,) and he's reaffirmed the idea that he does not need to. As such, he reaches his hand out to snap it shut. With that done, he'll roll onto his stomach, taking the laptop with him and laying right on top of it, and grab a pillow to stuff his reddened face into. His voice comes out muffled when he finally offers a rejection to that statement. ]
I don't want to. I'm going back to sleep.
[ He's a little upset. ]
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Hiyori does turn his head when shook, and the pillow is easily taken from him, and his chin falls down on the arm beneath it. He rests his head in the crook of his elbow, fixing Komaeda with a sullen look. It seems that he's a little upset about being teased with one thing before having work shoved back at him. It truly is difficult dealing with a person on drugs, as all the bad behaviors that are usually tempered by good sense and reason suddenly lack both. In this case, he's just aware enough to be petulant yet not enough to reason through it.
He's embarrassed, and he's feeling a little slighted by being teased so much only to suddenly be directed back to a project that he had no interest in. He should be willing to finish it to get the carrot at the end, given the implications, and normally he certainly would have. But right now all he can think is that it could have waited until later. ]
I can just call them... Letters are too impersonal. They'll think I'm looking down on them.
[ Whether that's true or if his mind is just muddling together known facts in order to justify his behavior now is dubious, but he seems to believe it. Hiyori grumbles, moving his arm to block the laptop from being taken. That's his, and he's currently not interested in having to look at it when he's already come up with an adequate solution to the problem. A phone call would be quicker and more efficient, and less impersonal.
... But he does seem to relent at little at the end. ]
We can do something else.
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Really, it was always a mistake while intoxicated. The drugs are settling in more fully now, and he lets out another little sigh... He did say that, didn't he? He jerks a little as Komaeda pulls at his shirt. ]
I haven't...
[ He sighs as he forces himself to sit back up, still displeased but willing enough to at least ease up a little. It still sounds fun, and he's wanted to go on a date with Komaeda for awhile. He does yawn, though, frowning as he considers the issue of calling versus writing once more. Still, he leans to pop the laptop back open. ]
Mm... Maybe I should call anyway. I should check up on them... I take difficult cases, so if they're handling those... [ Sigh. ] What else do you want me to write?
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Sorry, sorry...
[ It's slurred and and not at all polished, but the tone suggests that he's used to this sort of reaction. It's part of what makes being in a relationship with him difficult, after all. There were so many reasons, but one of them was his schedule. No matter how kind and patient, eventually his constant fussing over work and this and that would cause some rift if he wasn't careful to maintain things and end them early... Work, work, work, that truly is all he ever thought of.
He smiles, trying to reassure him. ]
I'll finish up, and I'll give you my undivided attention today, okay?
[ At least he doesn't seem to be questioning the "stepping down" bit yet. ]
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... I understand, Komaeda-kun.
[ He doesn't need a verbal response. He sighs again as he pulls away with a small smile, taking the laptop onto his lap and staring at it blearily.
Stepping down briefly... Hiyori doesn't like that wording very much, but he's struggling to think of what he really wants to say. ]
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[ He brings his hand up to his chin, fingers curled as he stares thoughtfully. Hiyori's words are always careful and precise, and so it takes him some time to pick out the ones he wants. This isn't unusual at all.
He blinks a few more times, running his fingers through his hair now as he tries to find the right words. ]
"Stepping down briefly"... Ah, that sounds a bit irresponsible, doesn't it...?
[ It was the same as saying he was dumping all his unfinished tasks, all of his patients, everything on them. ]
They'll feel like I'm going to burden them with my unfinished work...
[ Like he was abandoning them. ]
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Komaeda-kun... Those things have to be worked out in advance.
[ He runs his hand through his hair again. Hiyori can't think well enough to imagine it properly, but he does understand that it'd be messy. He'll be out for weeks, though, was it already messy...?
He gives a little yawn. ]
Mm... I suppose I could ask Michiru-chan to help.
[ He doesn't sound quite satisfied with that, but it was true that she knew enough, and what she didn't know Hiyori trusts that she'll be able to fill in the gaps. ]
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[ There's a soft laugh, with just a touch of affection to it. He knows Namida well, and she wasn't one to overlook any detail. But at her best, she could accept clear instructions without overthinking it. She's aware of his present state of being, so he supposes this should be one of those times. At any rate, he doesn't think that she would refuse to assist in a temporary transition. He tries to think of which one of his partners would take over and comes up blank, but it doesn't matter... They were both competent enough, so as long as she was willing to cover where they had adequate time...
He strokes Komaeda's hair for a little longer before leaning forward a bit, blinking as he tries to decide what to start with. He supposes he should finish this first... Ah, he really does hate tasks like this... But he seems content enough for the moment.
There's the tapping of keys, and then he deletes it. Type, delete, type, delete, clicking and changing words here and there... Between the two, stepping down for the moment settles better with him, and so he uses that wording. ]
She agreed to handle things in my absence, so it shouldn't be an issue.
[ This is fairly straightforward. ]
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Th-thirty minutes...? Komaeda-kun...
[ He looks back to what he's written, but he does slowly nod. He's not comfortable rushing that's to be written for a professional setting, but he supposes it sound be alright to come back to it later. Besides, it's only a few paragraphs. He should be able to manage that. But then, he would also much rather be spending time with Komaeda than staring at this screen. If he didn't have him hovering, he wouldn't be working on it now (or ever.) ]
Mmnn... Alright, I think I can manage that.
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It might be fun to do other things, but he is a romantic. They could see the fish and jellies, and the otters and seals, and have coffee at a nice little spot, and he'd just get milk in it so he could kiss him a little later... Ah, the clock is ticking, isn't it? ]
Hmm?
[ Sole owner... He interprets that as he pleases in his drugged state. ]
Ahaha... No one could run it as well as I could, they'd need my full support...
[ Tap tap tap... Backspace... Tap tap... He's trying harder at least. Who knew he works well under pressure? ]
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i rolled a 7 on intellect i'm crying
HE'S SO STUPID RN but he got a 17 in perception so i guess his ears and eyes work just not his brain
HIS NEW CATS GOOD GOOD
MEEE i'm thinking of cute names rn
they're perfect for him... why do i keep rolling 17s, i was doing it for speed he's CRIPPLED DICE
IT'S HIS NOW, HE'S TAKING EVERYTHING AS COMPENSATION
??? HE'S JUST BORROWING THEM FOR A LITTLE WHILE?
IT'S FINE HE'S JUST GONNA HURT AND THEN HEAL IN THAT ORDER
? he's healing komaeda's faith in ultimate surgeon raising project
he's going to be the ideal ultimate by time he's done (but not now)
help not him only getting laid for using his talent he hates that
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANNA JUST GET LAID AS THE ULTIMATE SURGEON
EXCUSE YOU? THAT IS NOT ALL HE IS????
sou hiyori, keeper of 20 different titles
STOP HE DOESN'T WANNA GIVE UP HIS OTHER TITLES
crying the way he has to only be the ultimate surgeon now
the way that he can't even keep his name i'm crying
STOPPPPP can't he at least have his name if he attaches it back to his title
RUDE he's never acknowledging his ultimate status again