[ He sighs a little, but Hiyori offers no further protests as his hair is ruffled. Hiyori understands without being told that to show any further remorse would be gratuitous, and so he leaves it there. He did bump his head, along with bruising several other parts of his body, but Komaeda is skillful in avoiding those sensitive areas. The kiss that follows leaves him with that dazed smile, but as out of it as he is, he likely could have gotten that by any number of methods. ]
Ah, but Komaeda-kun has only brought me good fortune.
[ After all, each and every one of his patients were precious to him, and it would be a problem if someone were preying on him. It's only several seconds after saying such that his mind seems to catch up with the rest of what's been said, and Hiyori offers a slightly puzzled look as he tries to unpack what had been said. Pee and sperm...? He must have misheard.
He stuffs another spoonful of jello in his mouth as his sluggish mind tries to find an appropriate response. ]
... Mm? You mustn't joke about such things, Komaeda-kun...
[ He's way too out of it to appreciate the suggestion, such is Hiyori's life. ]
[ There's a chill that runs down his spine as Komaeda pulls the knot of the sleeve free, and that shivering only intensifies as the covers are pulled down. He instinctively curls in on himself bit, knees edging up and his arms holding round his torso to try and hold his body heat in.
It's not all that unlike before. It seems that any semblance of competence he had was due to the drugs wearing thin, and the glassy-eyed look he fixes Komaeda with has no thought at all behind it. There's a little jerk as his leg is squeezed, face reddening a little, and there is a small dip of his chin that might pass an approving nod, and the carpet does match the drapes.
Ah, it's chilly... He tries to push himself up, but that only makes him feel woozy, and so Hiyori allows himself to lay back once more. ]
Mmn? No, I don't need to pee.
[ He's taking another small bite of jello now. He's going to be ill-mannered and talk around the spoon since he's trying to catch up with what's currently transpiring. Somewhere in that empty head of his, the thought that he should already know rattles around. ]
[ The answer strikes him as reasonable, and were he in any other state of mind Hiyori would no doubt fully lean into this. For as many times as he's gotten close only to have his efforts fall apart in the end, it would be ideal. As it is, he can hardly enjoy it with a body and mind so thoroughly numbed by drugs. It's unfortunate, really, when such things should only make the experience better.
He shivers under that touch, biting down on the handle of the spoon. The grip on the cup isn't the best, and he very nearly lets it slip out of his hand before catching the bottom using his opposite hand. As a doctor he should be able to point out the multiple issues here, beginning with the fact that one was supposed to use a collection cup, but there's nothing but the vague sense that something is off. ]
No... [ He is, the lack of control makes him uncomfortable. He takes the spoon out now. ] I thought Komaeda-kun would have no interest in a man on drugs.
[ Did he seem that way? It's hard to remember if that was it, or if he was perhaps thinking of himself. He never did care for addicts. ]
[ It's impossible, of course. The person that Komaeda is looking for is one to be obsessed with, to cling to despite not receiving a drop of love in return. That's always how it is with people who are so afraid of love, they seek out an unobtainable perfection, one that which will treat them as they see themselves. There's no fear then, no hurt, no loss, because there's never anything but obsession to start.
Hiyori can't be such a symbol, not when he lives for himself alone, and so it was impossible. He doesn't mind that, though, finding that a person's needs rarely overlap so neatly with their wants... Well, truthfully though, at the present time his mind doesn't quite get past that initial question. He scoots over as Komaeda crawls into the bed with him, bringing the cup up to his mouth and tilting his head back so he can scoop the remainder into his mouth for the sake of getting rid of it. He has no appetite, but that doesn't mean he can choose not to eat.
He reaches over to place a hand on Komaeda's cheek, stroking him with his thumb, offering a tired smile. ]
[ Hiyori sets the cup down on a little tray once finished. He slides one arm around Komaeda, holding him close while he strokes his hair. He is stupid right now, and so the comment slips right past him without notice as he watches the boy laying next to him. He's precious and charming and wonderful, beautiful in how scratched up and broken he is. ]
Hope's Peak would prefer I not act as an Ultimate.
[ Komaeda's love is a wondeful thing. It's selfless in that he thinks not of himself, and yet, as with all unrequited loves it's more selfish than any other. It's a love that thinks not of the recipient's needs, but only of the giver's wants. It's a love for those who are nothing more than a sickening cocktail of dreams and desires, and he thinks that there's a beauty in that kind of love. It's like a poison that slowly eats away at both the recipient and the giver... A beautiful love, more destructive than any other.
Hiyori has no care for those who destroy their bodies and souls, and so unrequited love doesn't bother him at all. He exhales as Komaeda slips away from him once more, unable to understand the weight of such actions or the meaning behind them. ]
Komaeda-kun. You don't have to be lonely, you know.
Edited (SO SORRY I HIT ENTER TOO SOON ON THE FIRST EDIT) 2022-01-24 05:16 (UTC)
[ An Ultimate is an Ultimate, but there's no changing the fact that he's separated from the rest of them. There's nothing wrong with it, he finds, as it allows him to act as he does without being bogged down by frivolous ideological debates. ]
Yes, I suppose that it did.
[ He sinks down a little, finding that there's no sense in arguing on that point. It was an undeniable fact that the title had shaped him, as had his experience in that droll place. It wasn't all bad, as it had splattered red paint onto his gray world. He instead focuses on the lateral half of their conversation. He listens to the dripping of the IV for a few moments as he considers the question he's been asked in return. It's hard to think, or to even want to, and sleep threatens to overtake him once more if he's not careful. ]
Yes, you do... But loving someone doesn't make you happy, nor does it save you from loneliness... What does it mean for Komaeda-kun to be happy?
[ He laughs softly. It's a non-answer, but there's no need to press when it contains the entire story. ]
Did you know, Komaeda-kun? People cannot live without love. Those who don't have it are cursed to wander while neither living nor dying. It's a tragic fate... But two people in love can take on the world.
[ His words slur, and perhaps such odd talk is nothing more than a result of the heavy drugs he's on. But he finds true love to be dangerous, as to love a person, one needed to love themselves first. All other loves were just delusion.
[ Hiyori has love for himself, and he has love for humanity, and he has love for those broken things that no one else can fix, those poor creatures that no one else could possibly care for. But he understands love, and Komaeda does not, because obsession and empty feelings can never become anything at all.
Hiyori flinches as the bag is tipped over. It bangs against the wall before busting open. His smile is vague, his eyes not quite seeing, but he remains forbearing. Through their many encounters, he's so rarely budged in this behavior. It's as though nothing can touch him.
He's darted out the door before Hiyori can so much as get a word in, and he's left with a card that will see no further use on his lap. It's a shame, as it had been nice to have a visitor who wasn't there on business, but there's nothing to be done with it.
Such a sad, poor soul who died without knowing love, now just a rotting corpse at the bottom of the ocean.
He presses the button to call the nurse before holding the card up above his head, rubbing it with his thumb and mumbling to himself. ]
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no subject
Ah, but Komaeda-kun has only brought me good fortune.
[ After all, each and every one of his patients were precious to him, and it would be a problem if someone were preying on him. It's only several seconds after saying such that his mind seems to catch up with the rest of what's been said, and Hiyori offers a slightly puzzled look as he tries to unpack what had been said. Pee and sperm...? He must have misheard.
He stuffs another spoonful of jello in his mouth as his sluggish mind tries to find an appropriate response. ]
... Mm? You mustn't joke about such things, Komaeda-kun...
[ He's way too out of it to appreciate the suggestion, such is Hiyori's life. ]
no subject
It's not all that unlike before. It seems that any semblance of competence he had was due to the drugs wearing thin, and the glassy-eyed look he fixes Komaeda with has no thought at all behind it. There's a little jerk as his leg is squeezed, face reddening a little, and there is a small dip of his chin that might pass an approving nod, and the carpet does match the drapes.
Ah, it's chilly... He tries to push himself up, but that only makes him feel woozy, and so Hiyori allows himself to lay back once more. ]
Mmn? No, I don't need to pee.
[ He's taking another small bite of jello now. He's going to be ill-mannered and talk around the spoon since he's trying to catch up with what's currently transpiring. Somewhere in that empty head of his, the thought that he should already know rattles around. ]
What are they checking?
no subject
He shivers under that touch, biting down on the handle of the spoon. The grip on the cup isn't the best, and he very nearly lets it slip out of his hand before catching the bottom using his opposite hand. As a doctor he should be able to point out the multiple issues here, beginning with the fact that one was supposed to use a collection cup, but there's nothing but the vague sense that something is off. ]
No... [ He is, the lack of control makes him uncomfortable. He takes the spoon out now. ] I thought Komaeda-kun would have no interest in a man on drugs.
[ Did he seem that way? It's hard to remember if that was it, or if he was perhaps thinking of himself. He never did care for addicts. ]
no subject
[ It's impossible, of course. The person that Komaeda is looking for is one to be obsessed with, to cling to despite not receiving a drop of love in return. That's always how it is with people who are so afraid of love, they seek out an unobtainable perfection, one that which will treat them as they see themselves. There's no fear then, no hurt, no loss, because there's never anything but obsession to start.
Hiyori can't be such a symbol, not when he lives for himself alone, and so it was impossible. He doesn't mind that, though, finding that a person's needs rarely overlap so neatly with their wants... Well, truthfully though, at the present time his mind doesn't quite get past that initial question. He scoots over as Komaeda crawls into the bed with him, bringing the cup up to his mouth and tilting his head back so he can scoop the remainder into his mouth for the sake of getting rid of it. He has no appetite, but that doesn't mean he can choose not to eat.
He reaches over to place a hand on Komaeda's cheek, stroking him with his thumb, offering a tired smile. ]
Komaeda-kun deserves only the best.
no subject
Hope's Peak would prefer I not act as an Ultimate.
[ Komaeda's love is a wondeful thing. It's selfless in that he thinks not of himself, and yet, as with all unrequited loves it's more selfish than any other. It's a love that thinks not of the recipient's needs, but only of the giver's wants. It's a love for those who are nothing more than a sickening cocktail of dreams and desires, and he thinks that there's a beauty in that kind of love. It's like a poison that slowly eats away at both the recipient and the giver... A beautiful love, more destructive than any other.
Hiyori has no care for those who destroy their bodies and souls, and so unrequited love doesn't bother him at all. He exhales as Komaeda slips away from him once more, unable to understand the weight of such actions or the meaning behind them. ]
Komaeda-kun. You don't have to be lonely, you know.
no subject
Yes, I suppose that it did.
[ He sinks down a little, finding that there's no sense in arguing on that point. It was an undeniable fact that the title had shaped him, as had his experience in that droll place. It wasn't all bad, as it had splattered red paint onto his gray world. He instead focuses on the lateral half of their conversation. He listens to the dripping of the IV for a few moments as he considers the question he's been asked in return. It's hard to think, or to even want to, and sleep threatens to overtake him once more if he's not careful. ]
Yes, you do... But loving someone doesn't make you happy, nor does it save you from loneliness... What does it mean for Komaeda-kun to be happy?
no subject
Did you know, Komaeda-kun? People cannot live without love. Those who don't have it are cursed to wander while neither living nor dying. It's a tragic fate... But two people in love can take on the world.
[ His words slur, and perhaps such odd talk is nothing more than a result of the heavy drugs he's on. But he finds true love to be dangerous, as to love a person, one needed to love themselves first. All other loves were just delusion.
There isn't much love in the world. ]
I hope you can find that kind of love one day.
no subject
Hiyori flinches as the bag is tipped over. It bangs against the wall before busting open. His smile is vague, his eyes not quite seeing, but he remains forbearing. Through their many encounters, he's so rarely budged in this behavior. It's as though nothing can touch him.
He's darted out the door before Hiyori can so much as get a word in, and he's left with a card that will see no further use on his lap. It's a shame, as it had been nice to have a visitor who wasn't there on business, but there's nothing to be done with it.
Such a sad, poor soul who died without knowing love, now just a rotting corpse at the bottom of the ocean.
He presses the button to call the nurse before holding the card up above his head, rubbing it with his thumb and mumbling to himself. ]
But you can revive any time you want...