( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori

[killed]

With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.

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[killed]

[ To say it had felt like he was on fire the first time he awoke would be a severe understatement. It was as though every neuron was firing off pain signals, an agonizing pain in his arm, running down his entire torso, in his thighs, everywhere. It had been blinding to the point where the only thing that saved him was the quick sedation that was administered once he was found. It's fortunate for him that the damage was minimal, and despite his coughing up blood there was no immediate need for concern.

He's awake again at last, just in time for the nurse to finish with him - clean linens that he needed to be transferred for, a clean body from a sponge bath, a clean gown... He can almost pass as presentable. The nurse has stepped out for a few moments, to get rid of al the filthy rags and everything else, but he doesn't doubt that she'll be back to do her final inspection and to scold him for his recklessness. He places a and over his mouth, yawning.

It should be like a kid waiting to be scolded, but instead he just seems tired from the analgesia that steadily drips through his IV once more. ]

Are you still here? Nagito... ♥

[ They're married, so he should get to use his first name. Did they already have a conversation about that? He can't remember very well, but more importantly, he hasn't changed his mind on what should be. ]

[killed]

[ It doesn't occur to him that the reason he isn't received a response is the way he addresses his husband. Hiyori instead comes to the far more reasonable conclusion that he had simply been discharged already, as it would be easy enough to force his way out the door. How inconsiderate of him to leave without giving a kiss goodbye... Then again, perhaps he had, and he had simply forgotten it in his drug induced haze.

Whatever the circumstances might have been, a quick scan of the room is all that he needs to confirm that Komaeda isn't present at this time, and so he lets out a little sigh before settling back. He'll be scolded, but he's hardly in any state to understand the problem with his actions, and his dim awareness isn't allowing him to process the thick smell in the air that had no doubt assaulted the nurse upon entering. Really, he's not aware of very much at all right now. The drugs he's on are heavy, corroding his mind and leaving him heavy, but even without that he injuries he's sustained sap all of his energy day and night.

...

...

He's already dozing off again. ]

[killed]

[ He stirs at the sound of a door creaking open, covering his mouth as a yawn escapes him. He doesn't hear the clacking of heels or the squeaks and thumps of a card being pushed along, and so he supposes the nurse must not have returned yet.

His eyes trial to the light creeping out from the slit in the bathroom door. He blinks slowly, trying and failing to twist his body to get a better look. ]

Nagito...?

[ The way he says his name is a little hopeful, a little tired, and a little bit confused - if he's being ignored, he has no idea as to why. ]

[killed]

[ He's not responding, but Hiyori has already convinced himself that Komaeda is there. He stares at the door, bleary-eyed, his sluggish mind struggling to make sense if the situation. He hasn't done anything wrong, and if he had Komaeda would be quite vocal about it, and so there seems to be no reason for it. ]

Is something wrong...?

[ A moment of consideration followed by a mistaken conclusion: ]

Ah... I did get you in trouble, didn't I? Ahaha, I'm sure it was quite the surprise...

[ He doesn't seem to feel any remorse though. How could he when it was time spent with him? ]

[killed]

[ The fact that he seems to have avoided running into trouble for the previous night makes it all the stranger that he would ignore Hiyori, who seems undaunted by the prospect of getting scolded himself. He's too high to care about such trivial matters, and so he watches Komaeda with that same dreamy smile from the night before, though it falters at the mention of him being released.

He would have kept him longer if it were him, due to his numerous afflictions and fragile condition, but it's not his call. ]

Did they? Ah, it seems I'll be alone again...

[ He'll be given a private room, of course. It's due to who he is, his sensitive condition, and of course the attention he's suddenly gained as of late. He was always well known enough, but it's gotten quite a bit worse. ]

Why wouldn't you answer me before...?

[ Maybe it's beginning to dawn on him, or at least he has a guess, because he follows up with a name after several seconds, ]

... Nagito...?

[ It's more tentative now, questioning, but there's no missing the affection and care that coats every syllable. ]

[killed]

[ For a few seconds, he seems to notice the trick that Komaeda is playing on him. His face scrunches up in thought as he tries to determine what it is that bothers him, but in the end the drugs make it difficult to concentrate, and he quickly loses his point of focus as their next subject is elaborated on. It's fortunate, as he would never otherwise miss such a thing. ]

Ah... You can stay at my apartment if you want.

[ It's how they wound up in this position, but the offer rolls off his tongue as smoothly as if nothing had happened at all. The wording is sloppy and inelegant, and he must still be aware enough to notice for how quickly he corrects for it as he continues on, ]

I won't be released for some time, and in the meantime I'm in need of someone to look after the kittens... It's important to socialize them while they're young, and they do seem rather fond of you.

[ Well, from what little he'd seen them interact anyway. He doesn't worry, as the younger ultimate has a fondness for animals that draws them to him in turn. But then, it might be unpleasant for him now, or perhaps it would simply be too quiet for a person who distracts himself by listening to the sound of others living their lives. ]

[killed]

Meg... Ah, Sasahara-san has been kind enough to do so, but her schedule keeps her rather busy.

[ That should come as no surprise. As with Hiyori, the Ultimate Police Inspector is always on call. Her job isn't one that anyone can cover for, nor do such emergencies rest when they're off the clock. It no doubt makes it difficult to care for two small animals. Still, her fondness for animals and his slurred insistence had won her over in the end. He imagines that he'll be paying for new furniture for her before long.

He lifts his arm up, flicking his wrist a few times in a gesture that tells Komaeda to come closer. It could be that he hasn't gotten in enough trouble, or that he simply doesn't care, but it's far more likely that he just isn't aware of the consequences of his actions. He still wants to hold his hand, and look into those vacant green eyes, and see that smile that never reaches. He has beautiful eyes, and how mesmerizing they might be if only they sparkled and shined as they should.

He tries to process the suggestion. ]

Are you sure? It's really no trouble, but... Ah, I suppose I've only given you unpleasant memories.

[ Memories where he winds up hospitalized at the end, or is otherwise drugged, or walking in on a patient that's overdosed. They're memories coated in black and white and red, colors that he'd only just started to overwrite. A shame, he thinks - however rarely the surgeon might visit his apartment it was nonetheless his and sharing that space with another person was almost enough to make it feel like a home. ]

Yes, that will do.

[killed]

[ Hiyori can be passive aggressive, pushy, and prone to using various tricks to get his way, but the faintly puzzled look he offers upon being accused suggests that it was none of that. Rather, he was searching for some explanation as to why he wouldn't want to. He reaches over, managing to lift his back just enough to reach over and place his hand on Komaeda's arm. ]

You don't need to worry about me. They'll keep me here as long as they will no matter what I do.

[ He rubs his arm gingerly before giving it a pat, thinking nothing of the object in his hand. He remembers what they did last night. That, too, something he wishes his cute husband could have enjoyed more than he did... Ah, how terrible. ]

... If you wish to stay elsewhere, then I'll support that too.

[killed]

[ A soft kiss between the two of them, and he thinks for a moment he might be able to rest easy. He's not allowed food quite yet, but he has no appetite in in this state regardless. There's nothing but that warm, drowsy feeling, and he might have started to sink down once more if he hadn't heard the area that Komaeda has chosen to move to. He frowns a little, shaking his head. ]

East Shinjuku? No, no, that really won't do...

[ His eyes brighten with just a flicker of awareness. It's that look that says he's settled on something, and if he were able to he would no doubt whisk Komaeda back to his apartment with him. Unfortunately, he's in no state to do so, and so he can only offer a faintly distressed look. ]

That won't do at all! I understand why you might feel uncomfortable staying at my apartment, but there are certainly nicer places for you to stay than that.

[killed]

There's far more that can go wrong! You shouldn't subject yourself to so much smog. The smoke isn't good for your lungs. I even stopped, didn't I? That's without getting into the crime rate, and beside that, it's such a crowded and noisy place...

[ He had despite not needing to, for Komaeda as much as himself. He was never crass enough to smoke inside, but it was a poor habit. He places his hand on the bed's railing, struggling through the process of attempting to pull himself up into a proper sitting position. He winces as a stab of pain cuts through the heavy painkillers, but it seems the frustration is enough to allow him to try and ignore that as he rattles off one reason or another.

Hiyori doesn't mind the bustling city, the bright lights and the endless sound of footsteps and chatter and engines and horns, but he hasn't missed how claustrophobic his patient can be. ]

Honestly! Is my apartment so inhospitable?

[ He sounds a little offended, though the slow and slurred speech, along with the little pauses, serve as an odd contrast to the precise and carefully chosen words. It's even worse when he forgets to do even that much and thus chooses to end it with - ]

Is being around me that bad?

[killed]

[ Hiyori worries now as much as ever. It's petulant and inelegant, perhaps even whiny, but in truth it's nothing more than a variation of the care he'd shown as his doctor. In those memories that his dementia ate over and over again, he was always Komaeda's single ally. He would smile as he listened to his every word, and he would pick and choose which ones to agree with. It's a wonderful thing that Ultimates exist, that they can bring such hope into the world, and what a beautiful soul Komaeda is for trying to nurture them. So long as he could find those points of common ground, he could offer his concerns and discuss solutions. But he was somebody who cared for him and his needs throughout it all, for his body and mind alike.

It's no different than now, taking into consideration every word and factor and possible issue for a person who won't do so for themselves. He would allow himself to wander into a dark basement to ensure his safety, quietly dispose of problems, fuss over and clean his every wound and injury however many times he might tear open skin and pull out stitches. ]

Come now... Have you truly thought this through? You forget to care for yourself, and you can be impulsive. Of course, I'm saddened that you would move to somewhere so far, but...

[ The sudden movement is a bit much on top of last night, and he coughs violent, spitting up blood. He wipes his mouth, rinse and repeat, with a couple false starts worked in before he finally manages to finish his thought, ]

... I want you to do what's best for you. You need to care for your health, and your mind as well... I know I can't stop you, but...

[ He bites his lip. It won't do to act as a parent would with a child, to be so overbearing and demanding, but drugs have removed his usual sensibility. ]

Are you sure?

[killed]

[ His wrist is taken, and Hiyori finally settles back. His hand trembles a little, as his body suffers for the strain he's put on it regardless of how well he can feel it, and it takes several deep breaths before his breathing finally evens out. Maybe he realizes that he's been pushing too hard, as his expression softens a tad as Komaeda sits next to him and massages his wrist. ]

Ah... It would be difficult for you, wouldn't it? Yes, the apartment adjacent to mind is mine as well, although I suppose it doesn't serve much purpose these days. I suppose I should cut it loose.

[ It does keep it quiet, but it had largely been a mix of storage a means of bringing people back without allowing them into his personal space. It's something more than the pristine, impersonal place that he stays, decorated with little mismatched pieces of other people's lives. No, he supposes that his apartment isn't suitable for Komaeda at all. His line of thought is disrupted by the warmth against his finger, and he shivers as a warm tongue presses against it, the saliva left being cooling quickly.

He lets out a small sigh.]

I suppose... It would have to wait until I'm released, and perhaps I do worry too much. I just want you to be careful. There's only one of you, after all.

[ It's not that he's disposable. It's the opposite, really - it's because he's irreplaceable that Hiyori worries so. ]

[killed]

Ah, you have a visitor?

[ There's a hint of curiosity but nothing more. He coughs once more, this time not spitting up blood, but the coppery taste remains in his mouth as he clears his throat and swallows. Once he's released, Komaeda is likely the only one who will visit him for any reason other than business. It's fortunate, then, that he'll spend most of his time too unaware to think of such things. ]

Yes, of course... I believe the nurse will be back soon, so I'll have her to contend with in the meantime.

[ He'll be scolded further, of course, once she realizes that he was agitating his injuries in such a way. He yawns, the moment of clarity passing as easily as it had come as he thinks of the mundane and boring affairs that come with being trapped in a hospital. He'll be kept awake for it too, just the small amount of effort he'd put forth is enough to have exhausted him. She'll no doubt take comfort in that as much as the fact that his sex drive is once more suppressed by the heavy painkillers. ]