( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori

[killed]

With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.

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[killed]

[ Hope is more than an absolute good in the world, for those he knew of Hope's Peak then were as foolish and empty as those he knows now. Not all who attend will do anything for the world, some will retire within just a few years of racking up fame and profits, and they'll be forgotten within a few years thereafter. But perhaps it could to be threads attached to a person, barbed strings that burrow into the flesh and take root, ones which wrap around the neck and crush it.

Ultimates are icons rather than people, characters that you can project onto as you so please. For Komaeda they wash away despair, and so they can be called hope. If that's it, then he supposes it's not an exaggeration to say that he was intended to be made into hope. ]

You have a vision of how the world should be... The world that Komaeda-kun imagines is a beautiful one... Yes, I believe that you're right.

[ It's not a direct answer to his question, but it's an affirmation all the same. He can sense hope and despair, but regardless of personal biases muddling his metrics there's no denying that the world he dreams of those he sees as talented is one that's sugary sweet and melts in one's mouth. It's soft and comfortable, like wrapping oneself up in a warm blanket in front of a fireplace without realizing that it's a cold winter day. There's no need to think of despair if there's only hope, just as one doesn't need to realize it's cold if they've always been warm.

He doesn't object when Komaeda moves away, but he does lean over once he's sat down. His fingertips brush along the scalp as he strokes his head, ]

... You know, Komaeda-kun, people recognize pieces of themselves in others. If you're a selfish person, if you're a warm person, you can notice when someone is replication those behaviors...

[ He chuckles. ]

If you've worn it then you can see it, no matter how carefully crafted the mask is or how well hidden it is... The vibrant sparkle of a person who's truly given up on everything in this world.

[ It's a brilliant and beautiful sparkle like the luminescent fin ray of an anglerfish that hides a gaping maw behind it. He can read others in an instant, size up who and what they are with a few words and gestures, but there's nothing that he knows better than the one that had confronted him in the mirror. The say that the orchard mantis can draw in more pollinators than the flowers themselves, and those who have attained true freedom are much like that.

...

He feels like he's seen a hint of it somewhere recently, something that didn't settle well with him, but his mind has been muddled by drugs, so he can't say where it was. Perhaps it's just his imagination. ]

[killed]

[ If it's not unlike the way that a person pets a cat, but it's a motion that he's found soothing since he was young. It's a motion that promises that any hardship will pass, but in the meantime there's someone who loves him by his side. It whisks the bad feelings away just like that, all the illness and sadness and fear. He shouldn't have shared such a story with him knowing that it could only upset him. He scratches his scalp gently as he continues, and he wonders idly if Komaeda might not dream some nights of becoming Ultimate Hope.

What does Sou Hiyori want? He was happy with the trajectory of his life. He would always want more, he would always take more, but it was a happy little life with a promising future. Would he want to risk that? If it's curing the world of despair, then it could be said that he already is. It's a doctor's job to cure all ailments. ]

Certainly. It's a doctor's job is to cure all that ails, and I have no fondness for those who would poison society. But you cannot hope to attain anything if you're not willing to take any risks.

[ There's a difference between care and caution and complete risk aversion. One cannot get anywhere if they suffer from decision paralysis, and one cannot succeed if they're not willing to put all their cards on the table. Hiyori simply ensure that he wins every bet. ]

If my life is on the line, then I only need to ensure that none can end it.

[killed]

[ He lets his hand trail down his temple to cup his cheek, his thumb brushing against it as he watches him. It's unlike him to fret so, a person who is so willing to risk anything and anyone for the sake of a brighter future. He's not so vain as to assume it to be something reserved for him, as nice as it would be, but rather attributes it to his desire to keep what he loves pure in his mind's eye. How tragic would it be to see a person held in such high crash into the ground? It would leave such scars on the world. ]

How lucky am I to be so loved that you would feel such fear on my behalf... Thank you, Komaeda-kun.

[ He pushes the matter no further, for he already has an idea of what that secret might be. There's only so many things that can cause him such distress. He removes his hand so he can tap the tip of his nose in an effort to keep him away from those thoughts. If he trusts him sober, of his own accord, then that shall make him all the happier. But in the interim, he's at least sobered up enough to treat him as though he worries too much, and ]

Let's see... Shall I suck you off while we listen to the mystery of someone going missing? Or perhaps you'd rather taste me again so you don't forget what it's like...? ♡


[ He's just teasing, but it seems better than leaving his cute husband to his own devices. If nothing more, it should prove a suitable distraction. He chuckles before adding, ]

I love Komaeda-kun, who is so much more than his frail body, so if you just let me wrap an arm around you and hold you close I should be happy as any man ever could ever be... Why don't you pick an episode for us to watch? Between the two of us, I'm all too certain that we can solve the mystery. ♪

[ But why him? He wonders. Why him, when there are so many others? Why the Ultimate Surgeon, when there are so many others? He already knows the answer, yet his heart yearns to hear it. But he doesn't ask, not now, not while he only wants to hold him close and answer mysteries that have such obvious answers to a pair of geniuses... Not now, when the baser part of his mind is aware that they can have just a trace of normal happiness, something rare and precious that can never be obtained again. ]

[killed]

[ Must Komaeda always think the worst of him? He has no qualms with causing others pain. It's quite the opposite, as there's a thrill and ecstasy that one can only attain by crushing a person who would otherwise harm him. It has its own afterglow, the warmth and comfort of his heart pounding in his head, each beat whispering to him that he's alive, that he's safe. But there's no sexual thrill, it's something far softer than that. ]

No, no, I'm afraid I can find no satisfaction in needless cruelty, nor am I fond of having nails dug into sensitive places. But it's just an overview, yes? I shouldn't subject Komaeda-kun to anything so gruesome... Ah, I've already exposed you to too much.

[ Which isn't say that he hasn't been or won't be, as he already knows it to be the case, but so long as Hiyori is around he won't allow for that kind of violence. He should have had more self-control last time, really, rather than cutting someone open before him. It's enough to simply be by him now, to engage in such frivolous and mundane activities. He's indulged in plenty, but never in such a leisurely way. He takes a few pieces of popcorn out of the bowl, crunching down on him as he places a hand on his shoulder before leaning over to kiss his cheek. ]

I'm happy so long as you're near, my dear... Why don't we just enjoy each other's company for now? We've had precious few opportunities to do so.

[ It's difficult when Komaeda's luck and mood swings alike veer things off course, and Hiyori himself has no shortage of activities that keep him busy. That aside, he's spend months recovering from injuries, and it seems that it'll be a bit longer before he's fully operational again. But he's already determined that they'll share a room again starting tomorrow, and his insistence will no doubt lead to it being made reality. If they're not watching close enough to prevent anything from happening, then they're not doing their job. It's absolute incompetence. ]

I can hold you and keep you safe even as we recount the cruelty and horrific acts that others are capable of and forced to endure.

[killed]

[ Does he? Hiyori isn't a feral cat that needs to be captured and domesticated before being placed in a house where it can learn to love humans. He's a man who was raised to be who he is, and who's worked tirelessly to meet expectations and compensate for failures. He has no desire to change his life, but there's no denying that he's been slowed by recent events. He wraps an arm around the other, rubbing his arm. Marriage, he said, though he won't even allow for them to be on a first name basis. When the drugs fade, he'll agree that distance to be for the best.

He's not a feral cat, but a hedgehog who has found the proper distance from others to share warmth without the prickle of quills. His warmth is kept to himself, an imperfect and empty life, yet there is no harm done on either side. He's happy with this life, as he has no desire to feel sharp spines digging into his flesh, as the warmth he gains from them can't compare to that he'll lose as the blood spills from his body. Komaeda could therefore be said to be the opposite, as he is one others wish to keep away from to avoid his spines.

Work, work, work - Komaeda was right to say that he thinks of nothing else, for everything from jobs to lessons to socialization are nothing more than a form of it for him. He's quiet for a time, his hazy mind trying to process the complex answer to such a simple answer before finding that there's none that he can give. ]

Yes... You're right. His life will be better for it.

[ That surgery, too, was work. It was cruel and spiteful, a lesson given, but it was kinder than he could have been. He'd ensured that his life was put back together. The trauma would forever change his life, and the time he had so spent taking advantage of children would be spent living through nightmares. He would lose his appetite for trying to take advantage of others knowing that at any moment he might see a real monster once more. He still regrets subjecting a child to it, but he supposes that Komaeda's obsession protects him.

Drip, drip, plop, plop... He can hear the first drops of red splattering to the floor as those spines press into him as they huddle closer together, but it's just adding to the dark red stain that's already there. ]

I've enjoyed our time as well. The monotonous life of those who are able to settle down and live normally was never meant for me, but even so, I wish to keep you near me.

[killed]

[ He loves sickly and broken things. Objects and codes and humans are all the same, they're all broken down by his hands and built up anew by his visions. He makes them into something better than they were before moving onto the next thing without stopping. If he were to cure Komaeda, her would allow him to move on in his own time; he would realize that he can find his own happiness without him. He'll be left unfilled by his death, a dark stain on his record, but it's just one more snapshot in time.

The TV drones on in this background, but he barely hears it. They haven't found the right distance yet, and so he can make frivolous wishes for this and that. ]

My wishes are far and few between, and I grant them by my own efforts...

[ He murmurs. Komaeda is cool and Hiyori is warm. It's difficult to move his other arm, but he manages to reach over to grab a blanket and pull it over their laps so that they can rest more comfortably. He nuzzles against him, kissing his temple, and as he looks at him it's difficult to imagine what something genuine might be. His love is always genuine, earnest and kind, yet false and with an uncrossable gap between him and the recipient. ]

We'll see all of that and more... We can make dreams into reality...

[ He leans his head against the other's. It's comfortable here, and it's easier to rest wit the other by him. He finds himself dozing as he adds, ]

I'll make more time for you...