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( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori
With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.
With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.
With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.
NOT HIS BACK GAME ugh so true he is UPSET and he an't even get his petty revenge
[ He reaches out to stroke his hair. He'll give him just a moment to consider that question. Those of the Christian religion tend to mistake it for being a sacrifice meant to purify their sins, but God had no need of that when he arbitrarily makes rules for humans. ]
It's because he can't look forward, nor can he look up, but only down while humans suffer on the Hell that he threw them into. What his son brought back wasn't the sacrifice of his life, but the suffering that you and I face daily. How we hurt, how we agonize, and yet, how we find happiness despite that.
[ Perhaps that's why humans are so smitten with the idea of a human ascending to a level of a god, for they would have control over both the heavens they reside in and the earth they look down upon. It's a story he'll have heard a hundred times by now, for there are so many stories that focus on the duality of life and the struggle to find those small moments of warmth it. Small, tiny moments that break through the ever present fear of pain and death like rays of sunshine filtering through rain clouds. ]
Despair is like that... It's not a poison nor a cancer, but something that forces you to see the world as it is - something delicate and fragile, painful and heart-wrenching, and those within it are always teetering on the edge without even realizing it... Nothing can hurt you anymore, nothing can stop you.
[ Perhaps Komaeda is a little too young to understand such a philosophical view. He's coded in binaries, but nothing can hurt Hiyori anymore. Nothing can change the path that he's set for himself because if it were to, then his entire life would have been wasted. He keeps stroking his hair, using cool fingers to brush the bangs out of his face. He's a smart boy, but he needs just a bit longer to realize the significance of that time.
He should put it in simpler terms. ]
... I had to experience it so that I could become something greater, so I could be what this world needs. Nothing can hurt me, nothing can break me, nothing can hide from me. Until my dying breath I'll cut it out of this world, and even that won't come until I've seen the person who represents it so dead...
[ He's never one to hide the facts nor details, but even compared to his norm flowery speeches he offers quite a bit here. He must be tired, or perhaps it really is the stress of the day's events, because in a quiter voice he voices something that he never otherwise would: ]
If I can't, then what was it all for...?
[ His efforts, his suffering, his insistence that everyone but him was wrong - what would that matter when he was even more vulnerable than the rest and twice as worthless? Why did he pry open his eyes and see the truth of the world, live among the worst humans when he could have lived a simple and easy life? ]
HE DIDN'T GET IT ALL OUT OF HIS SYSTEM!!! but ok true i guess he shouldn't greed
[ It's as much a fantasy as any other, but he can appreciate the sentiment behind it and the comfort it gave to others. He uses the tips of his fingers to brush some of the hair out of his face before resting his hand on his stomach. He stares at the ceiling. If there were some greater state of existence that he could reach then he too would be willing to die. There's not, though, and so he chases after the elixir of immortality. ]
How unlike you to fret so...
[ He chuckles. It's Komaeda who insists upon making him that god which walks upon Earth but Hiyori has already become something greater for the pain that he's suffered up until now. If it's Komaeda, then it should be enough to say that if he were to die, his hope wasn't strong enough.
He doesn't mind. His thoughts are interrupted by warm lips pressed against his thigh and those kisses send chills down his spine. It makes his heart beat a little faster in an entirely different way than the thought of finding that person. ]
K-Komaeda-kun... ♡ [ He swallows a bit of saliva. ] No matter what I won't let you alone, and so long s I have you I have no fear of despair.
[ It's an acknowledgment of what he said before. Hiyori knows the younger Ultimate won't let it touch him. ]
STOPPP HE'S BEING GOOD NOW
[ He wouldn't be able to weave such fantastical stories if he didn't. They're there to allow those who read them to pretend that the world is a better place than it is. His own story is nothing so wonderful. He's not the man who wished his heart be hidden, only to be be given a second chance at life once it was returned, but one who gouged it out of his own chest and stomped on it until nothing remained. The hole in his chest will always be there though, and he'll never be the restless child that he once was.
His fingers twitch and curl in Komaeda's hair as he consoles him with kisses. He props himself up using one arm so allow him to run his fingers through the other's hair. He toys with the ponytail, gingerly starting to pull at the hair tie to undo it. ]
Who, Komaeda-kun? Tell me... Do you think would would try to kill me, or perhaps find that there's more amusement to be found in letting a person live to watch them fail? Would I be made to feel true despair?
[ He slips the band around his fingers and wiggles it onto his wrist, taking a lock of hair in his hand and letting his fingers run along it before it drops. His existence was erased, so there's no reason that she should know he exists. Yet, he's caused so much trouble by bringing himself back from the grave.
The devil is sharp and sly, but despair is something far uglier. His tone is quiet and flat, but it's not meant to dismissing Komaeda's concerns. Rather, it's what he's thought of for such a long time, his worries and fears, so many years worth of waiting. ]
I wonder if she's unpacked the little mystery I left? Ah, it really is a frightening thing to think of how much could be taken, I know...
[ In the end, that had been the point. He's a greedy man, after all, and he so he wished for both hope and despair to train their eyes on him. A little chaos can go a long way. ]