[ How fortunate. He wasn't terribly looking forward to the consequences of that phone call. He flinches when the phone is dropped, though he lifts it up to look at. That was quick, though perhaps it was just his skewed sense of time that made him think it so. Hiyori pushes himself up into a sitting position carefully, finding the motion less painful this time. The newest dose must be kicking in.
He supposes it inevitable that Komaeda would continue to loop back around to the idea of him being around Ultimates, but not even drugs are enough to keep that idea from making him sick - but especially those who knew him in those days. They had no desire to see him. There was no way he could expect Komaeda to understand that, though. ]
[ Komaeda, he thinks, is less of a wife and more akin to a parent fussing over their child. It's a bit embarrassing for an adult to be treated as such, even if he's not that much older. It was impressive how fast he'd accumulated his talent and put it into practice. He listens to the sound of footsteps as he lays there, to the door opening, and the storm settling in. Cracks of thunder followed by the heavy sounds of rain falling.
Hiyori doesn't care for strong storms, but he likes rainy days. Quiet mornings where the sun is clouded and rain patters against the window, when he can lay under the covers and just listen to it as he puts off getting up for too long, before eventually sitting near the window with his coffee in hand and a phone showing the news in the other. But he's always hated weather like this.
He lays there for a few moments longer than he should before he nods, once more forcing himself to sit up and reaching to take the bag and pull it onto his lap. ]
[ The bag is set next to him for the moment, the popped off, and he picks at it. It takes him longer than it should, as he doesn't quite have his normal dexterity, but it was a good choice. He doesn't mind other flavors, so long as it's not too spicy, but he favors sweetness above all else. He logically understands that it's a far better choice for him than the simple sugars he's favored now more than ever.
Normally he could at least force himself to eat proper meals when he had the mindset for it, understanding the importance of nutritional balance (despite always treating himself after,) but at present simple sugars were far easier for him to consume. It was too hard to cook, it was too hard to order, it was too much effort to go through all the steps. He'd made some effort now, but without a doubt he would have just popped pills and water and stayed on the sofa all night if not for Komaeda's efforts. ]
Of course not. I'm happy, Komaeda-kun, because Komaeda-kun is here!
[ He shifts his chopsticks to the opposite hand so he can reach over to stroke Komaeda's hair for a few moments. There's a twinge of pain as he leans, but nothing enough to deter him. ]
[ noooo not moving his hand back... Hiyori makes no effort to object, nodding along as he's given instructions. He would never do anything that undignified, it's fine, it's fine...
He considers the statement and to his credit, he does manage to finish chewing and swallowing before he answers - if only for the length of time that it takes him to come up with one. ]
I had my eyes on Komaeda-kun the entire time, didn't I? So I couldn't think much else...
[ It's not a lie. For the extent of how much he could focus on anyone or anything, it had been the person who had stabbed him. The person who had spoken to him, kissed him, laid his head on their lap while he was still conscious. ]
Hmm... Maybe I wanted my mother to come save me, too...?
[ That was even more common. For those who had a mother who had reared them, they would think of them in those threatening times, ever wanting the person who had always saved them to do so then.
For Hiyori, too, his mother had always been the one who had cared for him. His parents were strict and had expected the world of him, but they had been loving all the same, offering him only the best care and education in his youth. They had kept him out of trouble at all times. They had helped to handle the situation at Hope's Peak.
Ah, he remembers how his mother used to stroke his hair, and tell him how proud she was... How wonderful he'd done... The way his normally strong and composed mother had held him and cried when he was invited to join those elites...
How she hadn't blamed him at all for what had happened.
He can't say for certain. He can't remember clearly enough to do so. But even now, he wishes she were here too, that she'd stroke his hair and tell him how foolish he was for winding up in such a predicament... How he had too much life ahead, how she wanted to see him rise to even greater heights, to follow his every success, to see so much more of him...
He pauses his movements as he thinks about this, staring down blankly at the container in his lap. ]
[ It wasn't something that he hid, exactly, so much as a fact that would never come up in conversations. Hiyori kept to himself, never disclosing the facts of his personal life, and there was no real sense in doing so except to extract sympathy from others. And without a doubt, if he had more presence of mind, he would have made a point of avoiding the suggestion with Komaeda in particular.
His mother was a wonderful woman who had lived her life to the fullest. His parents were kind and loving, but they were busy and prideful. They had raised a brilliant young prodigy who had, after just a few years, surpassed almost all others in his field. Hiyori thinks back to the last time he had seen his mother. She was more proud of him then than ever. Her passing was sad, but he's had enough time to mourn. ]
She passed about a year ago... Hm, but I don't know if I actually thought of her.
[ He's just making a logical assumption, really. ]
I only remember Komaeda-kun... I think about you all the time.
[ As the ten texts sent to him throughout the day might suggest. ]
[ He had paused briefly as Komaeda spoke, chopsticks hovering above the container, but he continues when prompted. There was a brief moment upon hearing that his heart belonged to another, but in the end reality had sunk in and he realized that it was not him at all. It was not Sou Hiyori, nor his hope, or his talent, but the title. The title of one who had been arbitrarily chosen as the best.
He laughs softly as he thinks on that. Drugs can even cure the wounds of the heart, but even so, he's aware of them. ]
Hmhmhm... Living this way really is so much nicer! Yes, I'm sure this is happiness.
[ Living without the title of the Ultimate Surgeon. Ah, even his proof is gone... Wouldn't it be nice if it was smashed to pieces and erased forever? ]
[ It takes him some effort, but he manages to get through the remainder of his meal, leaving just a few bites. It was too much for one sitting, but then he hadn't been in a habit of doing so. Happiness... Yes, he could find happiness like this. He is happy like this, as Sou Hiyori, as a skilled surgeon.
He's happier now than ever before. ]
Mhm! I'm happy now because you're here...
[ He sets the container down on the table and carefully slides down onto the floor while Komaeda's distracted and lays his head on his shoulder at the first available opportunity. It hurts a little, but it's nothing more than a dull ache by now, even though the pain must be excruciating in actuality. ]
You shouldn't take pills that aren't prescribed to you, Komaeda-kun.
[ It's a light statement, more than likely pulling from memory and nothing more. At the very least, he doesn't seem inclined to stop him. The bottle is nearly full. It's a top of the line product, one that was prohibitively expressive and difficult to get a prescription for, and the effects speak for themselves. Hiyori is nuzzling against his shoulder now, seeming to not have a single thought in his head now that he's had a moment to clear his thoughts. ]
[ Not for himself...? Hiyori accepts that without a second thought, returns the kiss without thinking about it, he parts his lips to invite Komaeda in without a thought, and without a second thought he--
...!?
There's a confused little noise as he feels the pills on his tongue. He must have enough sense of mind left to find something wrong with the sudden addition - he had been able to keep track of when he had last took them, after all, albeit he only remembered to set the alarm for the next dose half the time and wound up depending more on when the pain returned and his own cloudy memory. But he can at least understand that he's taken one recently, and that this is not the proper way to do so.
Hiyori tries to pull away so he can spit them out. It's a weak and clumsy effort at best - said previous dose was showing its effectiveness by now. Even more than when he had a knife in his back, when he could at least utilize the sharp skills that he'd developed over the years and push through what had been done to him, the Ultimate Surgeon truly does seem helpless now. ]
[ Hiyori turns his head and coughs violently as the pills he'd been given set off his gag reflex, and he manages to spit them out to the side. There's a soft gasp as he squirms a bit more, but there's little more that he can do with the other pinning him solidly in place. He swallows, not quite understanding the question he's being asked. He can't taste the medicine, he stopped tasting it days ago, but he understands that it was a consequence of kissing Komaeda. That doesn't make any sense, though.
It's warm and comfortable to have someone who he loves so much on him like this even now, and his arms instinctively move up to wrap around him. He sees Komaeda grabbing the pill bottle, though, and the faint sense of danger cuts through the fog in his mind. He blinks slowly, staring at him with a puzzled look. He really doesn't understand what's happening right now, much less why it's happening.
He whimpers. ]
What are you doing...?
[ A second dose wouldn't kill him, but there likely wouldn't be much left of his already limited physical capabilities, much less his mental awareness. ]
[ That unmatched talent of his screams at him to not do any more. A doctor knows the dangers of abusing drugs better than anyone, and there was he ever present risk of something going wrong that couldn't be fixed. Hiyori wants to push away, and he knows that he should, but his limbs feel heavy and the little shot of adreline he'd received isn't enough to keep him going.
He tries to lean back, put a little more distance been them, but it's impossible with an arm around him and the sofa behind him. He winces, the pain from his ceaseless movements and the friction cutting through. ]
S-stop! Stop, I don't want this...
[ He's never been in a vulnerable position like this before, and he knows he can't do anything to keep Komaeda from using his hand to shove more pills into his mouth, though he shakes his head in objection to anything further. It reminds him of trying to give medicine to a cat. Dogs could often be tricked, but cats were harder, and one often just had to shove the pills into their mouth and hold it closed and rub their throat - a completely undignified way to giving medication that felt terrible for everyone involved. He'd done it a few times, and it's painful to think that's he's being treated like an animal. ]
[ Komaeda is always like this, and over time he's learned all those little quirks and habits that make him up. He was emotional and difficult, impulsive and irrational, and he so often made up every reason that he could as to why people acted as they did except the one that made sense to everyone else around him. If he were in a better state of mind, he could no doubt handle this as well, but he's not. His limbs are wobbly, his mind is foggy, and his senses are dull.
It stings to hear those words once Hiyori's finally able to process them, and he's still not quite able to work through exactly what was going on or what had gone wrong, just that his presence was no longer wanted. His hand lifts to reach out - for him? For the bottle? For something else entirely? Before it drops back down, less out of willpower (he never seemed to run out of that) and more because he's having a hard time moving. ]
Komaeda-kun...!
[ He slumps, uncertain of what to say. It wasn't a desire to be away, that closeness would have been fine if not for the additional efforts. Perhaps he should crawl over to his office instead. He misses his job, and he misses work, and even getting nothing done. Even if it was nothing, or even if it was wrong, he had an AI to help correct for that later. He wants to spend time with Komaeda, and he wants to go back to work, but only one of those seems to be an option.
Saying that he wants somebody else... He's so insensitive. ]
[ There's an unhappy little sound when Komaeda mentions leaving and it really is more like dealing with a little kid than a grown adult. It would be ill-advised to leave in this weather, if only because he would be soaking wet by the time he was home. Even if he didn't want to be around Hiyori, it was easy enough to hide in the guest bedroom. But as with everything else, that disappears quickly, as does his anxiety from before. He truly is just living second to second.
And so at the earliest opportunity he's going to pull his legs forward and work on slipping them under him, sluggishly adjusting his position just enough that he can lean forward to try and press his face against the poor Komaeda. It's hard for him to move his limbs, but his hands find purchase around Komaeda's back as his fingers loosely grip the fabric to hold himself in place. ]
Komaeda-kun...!
[ He draws out every syllable in the name as he says it, and then does it a second time for good measure, and in truth it's more of a pitiful whine than anything else. He's clearly unhappy about something, though he's being completely unhelpful about helping anyone determine exactly what that something might be. ]
[ The only answer Komaeda will get is a drawn out whine and a shake of the head. But Hiyori shivers under his touch, but those efforts are rewarded as he seems to calm down after a time. He lets out a sigh, burying his face against Komaeda, and consequently his answer is muffled. ]
It's storming out... You'll get sick...
[ That doesn't seem to be the concern that he started with, but it has moved to the top of his mind. A cold was a virus, and it couldn't be caught just by standing in the rain, but there were several other health complications that could result from standing in the pouring rain for a long period of time. He wouldn't feel right sending him off. If he wanted to be away from him, he could lock himself up in the guest bedroom and it would have the same effect.
He mumbles his name again before letting out a little sigh, still not seeming willing to pull away even a little, and it really is like a kid clinging to a parent for their attention. ]
Mm... I love you... You're not supposed to be upset with me... You can't just say that you want somebody ellseeeeeee...
[ It's a petulant and childish complaint (and it gets three times as petulant with that last complaint. Wthout a doubt his chief concern is that Komaeda said he wanted somebody else, which is probably also the easiest issue for his drug-addled brain to latch onto, but he does seem to have the bigger issue of his consistently upsetting him. ]
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He supposes it inevitable that Komaeda would continue to loop back around to the idea of him being around Ultimates, but not even drugs are enough to keep that idea from making him sick - but especially those who knew him in those days. They had no desire to see him. There was no way he could expect Komaeda to understand that, though. ]
Ah, that was quick, wasn't it...?
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Hiyori doesn't care for strong storms, but he likes rainy days. Quiet mornings where the sun is clouded and rain patters against the window, when he can lay under the covers and just listen to it as he puts off getting up for too long, before eventually sitting near the window with his coffee in hand and a phone showing the news in the other. But he's always hated weather like this.
He lays there for a few moments longer than he should before he nods, once more forcing himself to sit up and reaching to take the bag and pull it onto his lap. ]
Komaeda-kun?
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Normally he could at least force himself to eat proper meals when he had the mindset for it, understanding the importance of nutritional balance (despite always treating himself after,) but at present simple sugars were far easier for him to consume. It was too hard to cook, it was too hard to order, it was too much effort to go through all the steps. He'd made some effort now, but without a doubt he would have just popped pills and water and stayed on the sofa all night if not for Komaeda's efforts. ]
Of course not. I'm happy, Komaeda-kun, because Komaeda-kun is here!
[ He shifts his chopsticks to the opposite hand so he can reach over to stroke Komaeda's hair for a few moments. There's a twinge of pain as he leans, but nothing enough to deter him. ]
I'm happy...
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He considers the statement and to his credit, he does manage to finish chewing and swallowing before he answers - if only for the length of time that it takes him to come up with one. ]
I had my eyes on Komaeda-kun the entire time, didn't I? So I couldn't think much else...
[ It's not a lie. For the extent of how much he could focus on anyone or anything, it had been the person who had stabbed him. The person who had spoken to him, kissed him, laid his head on their lap while he was still conscious. ]
Hmm... Maybe I wanted my mother to come save me, too...?
[ That was even more common. For those who had a mother who had reared them, they would think of them in those threatening times, ever wanting the person who had always saved them to do so then.
For Hiyori, too, his mother had always been the one who had cared for him. His parents were strict and had expected the world of him, but they had been loving all the same, offering him only the best care and education in his youth. They had kept him out of trouble at all times. They had helped to handle the situation at Hope's Peak.
Ah, he remembers how his mother used to stroke his hair, and tell him how proud she was... How wonderful he'd done... The way his normally strong and composed mother had held him and cried when he was invited to join those elites...
How she hadn't blamed him at all for what had happened.
He can't say for certain. He can't remember clearly enough to do so. But even now, he wishes she were here too, that she'd stroke his hair and tell him how foolish he was for winding up in such a predicament... How he had too much life ahead, how she wanted to see him rise to even greater heights, to follow his every success, to see so much more of him...
He pauses his movements as he thinks about this, staring down blankly at the container in his lap. ]
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His mother was a wonderful woman who had lived her life to the fullest. His parents were kind and loving, but they were busy and prideful. They had raised a brilliant young prodigy who had, after just a few years, surpassed almost all others in his field. Hiyori thinks back to the last time he had seen his mother. She was more proud of him then than ever. Her passing was sad, but he's had enough time to mourn. ]
She passed about a year ago... Hm, but I don't know if I actually thought of her.
[ He's just making a logical assumption, really. ]
I only remember Komaeda-kun... I think about you all the time.
[ As the ten texts sent to him throughout the day might suggest. ]
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[ He had paused briefly as Komaeda spoke, chopsticks hovering above the container, but he continues when prompted. There was a brief moment upon hearing that his heart belonged to another, but in the end reality had sunk in and he realized that it was not him at all. It was not Sou Hiyori, nor his hope, or his talent, but the title. The title of one who had been arbitrarily chosen as the best.
He laughs softly as he thinks on that. Drugs can even cure the wounds of the heart, but even so, he's aware of them. ]
Hmhmhm... Living this way really is so much nicer! Yes, I'm sure this is happiness.
[ Living without the title of the Ultimate Surgeon. Ah, even his proof is gone... Wouldn't it be nice if it was smashed to pieces and erased forever? ]
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He's happier now than ever before. ]
Mhm! I'm happy now because you're here...
[ He sets the container down on the table and carefully slides down onto the floor while Komaeda's distracted and lays his head on his shoulder at the first available opportunity. It hurts a little, but it's nothing more than a dull ache by now, even though the pain must be excruciating in actuality. ]
You shouldn't take pills that aren't prescribed to you, Komaeda-kun.
[ It's a light statement, more than likely pulling from memory and nothing more. At the very least, he doesn't seem inclined to stop him. The bottle is nearly full. It's a top of the line product, one that was prohibitively expressive and difficult to get a prescription for, and the effects speak for themselves. Hiyori is nuzzling against his shoulder now, seeming to not have a single thought in his head now that he's had a moment to clear his thoughts. ]
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...!?
There's a confused little noise as he feels the pills on his tongue. He must have enough sense of mind left to find something wrong with the sudden addition - he had been able to keep track of when he had last took them, after all, albeit he only remembered to set the alarm for the next dose half the time and wound up depending more on when the pain returned and his own cloudy memory. But he can at least understand that he's taken one recently, and that this is not the proper way to do so.
Hiyori tries to pull away so he can spit them out. It's a weak and clumsy effort at best - said previous dose was showing its effectiveness by now. Even more than when he had a knife in his back, when he could at least utilize the sharp skills that he'd developed over the years and push through what had been done to him, the Ultimate Surgeon truly does seem helpless now. ]
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[ Hiyori turns his head and coughs violently as the pills he'd been given set off his gag reflex, and he manages to spit them out to the side. There's a soft gasp as he squirms a bit more, but there's little more that he can do with the other pinning him solidly in place. He swallows, not quite understanding the question he's being asked. He can't taste the medicine, he stopped tasting it days ago, but he understands that it was a consequence of kissing Komaeda. That doesn't make any sense, though.
It's warm and comfortable to have someone who he loves so much on him like this even now, and his arms instinctively move up to wrap around him. He sees Komaeda grabbing the pill bottle, though, and the faint sense of danger cuts through the fog in his mind. He blinks slowly, staring at him with a puzzled look. He really doesn't understand what's happening right now, much less why it's happening.
He whimpers. ]
What are you doing...?
[ A second dose wouldn't kill him, but there likely wouldn't be much left of his already limited physical capabilities, much less his mental awareness. ]
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He tries to lean back, put a little more distance been them, but it's impossible with an arm around him and the sofa behind him. He winces, the pain from his ceaseless movements and the friction cutting through. ]
S-stop! Stop, I don't want this...
[ He's never been in a vulnerable position like this before, and he knows he can't do anything to keep Komaeda from using his hand to shove more pills into his mouth, though he shakes his head in objection to anything further. It reminds him of trying to give medicine to a cat. Dogs could often be tricked, but cats were harder, and one often just had to shove the pills into their mouth and hold it closed and rub their throat - a completely undignified way to giving medication that felt terrible for everyone involved. He'd done it a few times, and it's painful to think that's he's being treated like an animal. ]
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It stings to hear those words once Hiyori's finally able to process them, and he's still not quite able to work through exactly what was going on or what had gone wrong, just that his presence was no longer wanted. His hand lifts to reach out - for him? For the bottle? For something else entirely? Before it drops back down, less out of willpower (he never seemed to run out of that) and more because he's having a hard time moving. ]
Komaeda-kun...!
[ He slumps, uncertain of what to say. It wasn't a desire to be away, that closeness would have been fine if not for the additional efforts. Perhaps he should crawl over to his office instead. He misses his job, and he misses work, and even getting nothing done. Even if it was nothing, or even if it was wrong, he had an AI to help correct for that later. He wants to spend time with Komaeda, and he wants to go back to work, but only one of those seems to be an option.
Saying that he wants somebody else... He's so insensitive. ]
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[ There's an unhappy little sound when Komaeda mentions leaving and it really is more like dealing with a little kid than a grown adult. It would be ill-advised to leave in this weather, if only because he would be soaking wet by the time he was home. Even if he didn't want to be around Hiyori, it was easy enough to hide in the guest bedroom. But as with everything else, that disappears quickly, as does his anxiety from before. He truly is just living second to second.
And so at the earliest opportunity he's going to pull his legs forward and work on slipping them under him, sluggishly adjusting his position just enough that he can lean forward to try and press his face against the poor Komaeda. It's hard for him to move his limbs, but his hands find purchase around Komaeda's back as his fingers loosely grip the fabric to hold himself in place. ]
Komaeda-kun...!
[ He draws out every syllable in the name as he says it, and then does it a second time for good measure, and in truth it's more of a pitiful whine than anything else. He's clearly unhappy about something, though he's being completely unhelpful about helping anyone determine exactly what that something might be. ]
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It's storming out... You'll get sick...
[ That doesn't seem to be the concern that he started with, but it has moved to the top of his mind. A cold was a virus, and it couldn't be caught just by standing in the rain, but there were several other health complications that could result from standing in the pouring rain for a long period of time. He wouldn't feel right sending him off. If he wanted to be away from him, he could lock himself up in the guest bedroom and it would have the same effect.
He mumbles his name again before letting out a little sigh, still not seeming willing to pull away even a little, and it really is like a kid clinging to a parent for their attention. ]
Mm... I love you... You're not supposed to be upset with me... You can't just say that you want somebody ellseeeeeee...
[ It's a petulant and childish complaint (and it gets three times as petulant with that last complaint. Wthout a doubt his chief concern is that Komaeda said he wanted somebody else, which is probably also the easiest issue for his drug-addled brain to latch onto, but he does seem to have the bigger issue of his consistently upsetting him. ]
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when are you going to stop ntring me nms go back 2 ur majority game tag
FIVE TIMES EACH THREAD i'm starting to feel second hand sexual frustration tbqh
WELL YEAH BUT IS KOMAEDA GONNA FINALLY RESOLVE THE TENSION AFTER HE'S NOT CRIPPLED AND/OR DRUGGED???
IT'S FINE IT'LL JUST BE A REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR
THEY CAN FUCK MORE THAN ONCE???? AS A PATIENT THEN AS A BF THEN AS A HUSBAND
OKAY FINE TEMPORARY EX-PATIENT BUT THEN AS A PATIENT HE CAN DO BOTH
okay you know what that's fair, komaeda shouldn't have to settle like that
does that mean their first time can be in his office while he's shirking his duties
that's true maybe he won't moan into the phone this time