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( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori
With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.
With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.
With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.
no subject
Anytime he notices which way he's being led Hiyori finds himself wanting to do the opposite, but to do so each time will turn it into one more way to entrap him. He can't afford to be so predictable. He doesn't like the look of the house, but the bloodstained road ahead of him is no better. He chooses the former. As long as he keeps walking without giving the man behind him time of day, there should be no issue.
His shotgun remains in one hand and his phone in the other. He can see the dust on the tables, the pulsing of the walls, and the familiar framed portraits on the wall. There's the ticking of the clock that tempts him to move deeper and the faint sound of a voice in the distance. He shrugs it off as one more trick of the mind. He just needs to keep going on now. He just needs to wake up. His grip on the phone tightens, heart pounding in his chest, as it's unlike him to walk into such an obvious trap.
The shotgun stays at his side. The sudden thought that it would be bad if it were to accidentally discharge comes to him, and so it's with a pinch of reluctance that he flicks the safety back on as he moves deeper. It's fine. It takes a split second to flip it back off, and he has more than enough practice with firearms. ]
sanity roll: 5
It had cost him a great deal to ensure that he would be taken in and cared for after his death, especially considering the high likelihood that he would cause it, but he had managed it. Nagito Komaeda would inherit his possessions and be taken in by another Ultimate in his absence - Sasahara or Harai, either one of those would ensure that no one would ever lay a finger on him - it has to be an Ultimate, and one that he trusts. The survival of those who knew him is part of living on too. He doesn't worry about that one bit when ASUNARO has all the power in the world.
But he does worry about his own fate. There's no one who will secure his future but himself. He clicks the safety off. It's fine as long as he keeps moving. If he causes himself some injury, will he wake up? He's always been such a light sleeper, the faintest prick and he'll wake up. Maybe he'll put a hole through his heart though, or his stomach, or his head. But he's damned if he does nothing.
There's something grabbing at his ankle. He jumps, instinctively starting to turn his head before just barely stopping himself. His eyes flick down but not to the side, so he misses it. But it causes him to miss a step, and he can feel whatever's behind him creeping up. There's a little laugh, the humorless laugh of a person who's fear has overtaken them. There was never any point to this little game, there was never any reason for him to play pretend at running when it's only gotten him into more and more trouble.
Another step forward. He'll keep going, one after another, because those are still the rules, but it's all so stupid. Worthless, stupid, to imagine that he's wasting time with this disgusting, filthy trash, to imagine that he might die by the hands of some worthless monster that has no idea what that word means. Burned alive? Killed? Possessed by demons? Who the Hell cares, it's nothing more than a pathetic cockroach crawling around on his floors and under his furniture. It can only be seen when his eyes are close because it hides in dark shadows, because the second he yanks it into the light it'll burn it. The second he did he'd smash gun into that worthless creatin's face repeatedly, until it was nothing more than a disgusting puddle of meat and flesh and blood.
He sucks in a breath, counts to three, and snaps the gun to the side, just slightly back, before pulling the trigger. He'll be lucky if his hearing isn't damaged, but he's always had good fortune, and that's why he can ignore the snap of his wrist as the recoil hits long enough to twist his wrist, holding the gun over his shoulder and firing off his second round. His wrist snaps forward with the second one as the recoil hits, the gun snapping back to the front. It hurts like Hell, but that's not enough to break it. But he'll keep going. ]
sanity: 9
He hisses with pain as it digs into his chest, a beautiful flower spreading its vine through him, and soon it will bloom. He only need to let it feed on him. He clutches the opposite arm with his free hand as he works his way toward the glove digging into him. It's agonizing, but that's never stopped him before. He's had worse than this. How pathetic to have a paltry little revenge scheme over something so minor as being burned alive.
He wonders if that same cowardice keeps him hidden within the shadows. Hiyori will draw him out. He's decided on it. This is his dream, no different than his house, and he decides what happens to uninvited guests. He gasps, shuddering as it worsens, almost unbearable from having knives dig into him. He's damn sick of that happening. If he picks it up directly, it'll change trajectory and dig into the soft and squishy body before it. It's probably like some damn spider. But it's just as likely that it's a distraction from something else.
...
He doesn't have much choice. He crouches down. He'd rather not put his hand in something so filthy if he doesn't have to, so he settles for wrapping a hand around it without pulling, but his attention is only partially on that. What is it meant to be a distraction from? Ah, he wants to see him. He'd happily risk his own life if it meant getting to see half of someone's face blown off. Where is he? ]
You are an unruly guest, aren't you? [ He flinches. He will not die. He will not. ] Go back to the lukewarm Hell that you crawled out of.
thinkin abt him insane
His chest hurts. It's agony to touch the glove, but he can handle any pain if he so chooses to. He bites down on his lip hard enough to make it bleed to keep more than grunts from escaping./ It's only when he's bit that a pained shriek escapes him, an instinctive call for help, and the broken laugh that follows as he stares at the gore dripping from his hand is because he knows that there is no one who will save him. He'll die if this keeps up, but - no, he won't, because this is the world of his mind. He's not a child who still fears what goes bump in the night, but a man who lost the last vestiges of their sanity a long time ago.
He laughs because he can do nothing else in the face of such a ridiculous statement. ]
My worst nightmare? No, no, this is nothing compared to the nightmare that visits me every time I sleep... I can only sleep at all because I have this, you know, because it's there for me in both the sleeping and waking world.
[ Those words are strained as the pain starts to overtake him, but his shaking hands manages to find the lighter in his pocket. It's agonizing, but he endures. He obtained a gun when he was just seventeen. It stays hidden with him at night, and it allows him to rest some nights. He used to until he passes out into a dreamless sleep, but Komaeda has taken it from him. Komaeda's ruined that for him. It's convenient that his husband is so restless. It covers up the fact that even now he never sleeps well, and it shakes him out of the world crafted by his mind.
He flicks the lighter on before he touches it to the cloth to ensure the flame takes, before unceremoniously flinging it into the fireplace. The water will put it out for him. He coughs, spitting out blood and listening to the splash as it hits the water. ]
.... That's right, I was never here at all... I had just forgotten, but now... Come now, let me show you the Hell that I crawled out of - no, let us do away with those pretenses, that I never escaped... The Hell that you wish to see...
[ There's another cough, the sound of sloshing water and his own gasping breaths. He an feel the water splattering against his legs and the cold sweat rolling down his skin, the blinding agony that's come in waves ever since he grabbed that glove, and taste the blood in his mouth. It doesn't matter. This inky blackness isn't what haunts him, but a transition; it's knocking off the pieces so he can replace them with a proper chess set. It'll be replaced by the soft clack of heels on wood floors, familiar scents and warm sunlight pouring in through windows, and a room that's both silent and still. The gun will remain though, as will the soft gasps and the sweat rolling down his face.
Had he played along because he wished to forget? No, it's because that child is dangerous to him. He had painted over those scenes that haunt him with bright colors and frowned and scrunched his face as he looked for the final strokes that would complete it - that would complete him. But he can't forget, for if he does he'll be trapped within it forever. ]
roll: 19
The appearance of the man catches his eye, and he can't help but snicker. He's quite the interesting specimen. His skin is badly damaged, burned and scarred, and no doubt if he were alive blisters would cover his body. He's fortunate enough to be dead, wearing his death as a reminder of his need for revenge, but he does wonder what would happen if he were to sink his fingers into it and scrape along. Would it neatly peel off? Would it be burning hot? How many reminders of his old life are hidden on him? But that's not the reason for his reaction. ]
I disposed of the last body in the furnace. She fought me a little too much, and I wound up destroying her pretty face, and I loved her too much to let someone see her in such a state. But I had to.
[ It's not meant to be unsettling in the least. It's idle chatter, no different than speaking of the weather, as he's so rarely had the luxury of a person who can appreciate his work. It was a mistake, but it was amusing to watch them speculate about and hunt down the source of the stench. He pauses halfway through to hiss with pain, his eyes briefly caught by the flames surrounding them, and he wonders if that's an rejection of his offer? ]
The truth is like medicine, you know. In the right doses it can heal all wounds, but too much and it becomes a deadly poison. I ingested that poison, and I was infected with the disease known as despair... My classmates so graciously gave their lives so they might act as a cure.
[ It was an antibiotic for the infection that had spread through that entire worthless school, or at least that's how it should have been.It hadn't been. They're worse now than ever for believing that he was the most frightening thing they'd have to deal with. ]
But no matter how much time passes, that poison runs through my veins.
[ If he did as should have, then he could have done such good on their behalf! He could have spread hope throughout the world, and yes, perhaps even become the Ultimate Hope! But he took too much medicine, he breathed in pure oxygen, and all those dreams and desires and expectations damaged his mind. He keeps going, the gun pointed down, a little more easily now. ]
So let me show it to you -
[ Once he's decided himself to be close enough he'll raise the gun with one hand. That leaves him vulnerable and invites attack, of course - physical? Mental? Who knows what it'll be. It's not important so long as he can draw the creature's attention to it.. ]
- The nightmare that visits me every time I sleep.
[ Because his aim is to grab at his collar, or any part of him that he can, yank, and try to kick him hard enough to lose balance so he can pull him down with him as he falls back. But even if he can't manage, he should be able to move quickly enough to avoid any major harm.
Either way, it's time to wake up. ]
no subject
[ They're quiet, choked words as he tries to regain some semblance of consciousness. His dreams are filled with those warm and sunny days, one even bleaker than the life that he lives now. He would be better than any other. Hiyori should have been more beloved, more renowned, more talented, more of everything than any other. He might not be a person who possessed each and every talent, but he would be as close as one could come - adding one after another, showing all of humanity what they're capable of, and filling the world with such hope.
Who will do that now? They could create some artificial replication of all the talents, but such a being would have no capacity to be true hope; it would be akin to a false prophet, one that his cute little apostle would mistake for a true one as a consequence of his shallow senses. They could find Ultimate Hope in the opposite as well, one who lacked any real talent but could give optimistic speeches, taking the role of a leader while being so incompetent as to be unable to do even what their foot soldiers could. Hiyori lacked these unfortunate limiters, as he was a once in a generation talent who built up an unparalleled charisma - as he was supposed to.
He didn't do as he should have, yet he did what he needed to. He crushes the branches of despair that he finds in this world without flinching. He strengthened that place by breaking it down. He did all of that for it, and he did it for himself, for now when he finds that person he won't hesitate to cut out the sickness that makes them up. It's the reason for his despair; he's certain of it, for otherwise such a beautiful and vibrant creature that could destroy the entire world just with the flick of their hand might have tempted him with their siren's song and stayed his fervent hand.
Ah, one who only rules over dreams could never understand what a nightmare the waking world truly is. His face burns, his chest aches, everything hurts and the world is discolored. He coughs, a shudder running down his spine, and he forces himself to focus on that singular thought. His work isn't done. He's waited seven long years for this, and until he sees that creature breathe their last breath he won't be satisfied. He has to see it with his own eyes, or he'll never be able to sleep at night - the lifeless eyes of the one person who could threaten to move his heart and destroy his rotten world.
Then he'll finally be safe, even if only for a single moment. Then the world will be a colorful rainbow, if only for the smallest moment, as he comes as close to death as he ever would allow himself.
He gasps, the remaining words unable to come, but that might be just as well when even what he's said will no doubt earn him a scolding from the Ultimate Lucky Student. His face burns. There's a knife moving in and out of him. His entire body aches, and it's difficult to ascertain exactly what's happening. Hiyori coughs and chokes as he gropes around for something - anything. The knife that's slamming into him? The person above him? He's moving on instinct, unable to discriminate, breathy words following, ]
What... A shame... We didn't have to be at odds...
[ Hiyori has no fear of werewolves or monsters under the bed, not of witches and spells, for every moment of the waking world is Hell to him. His dreams are of despair and death, a constant reminder of what awaits him, yet he awakens to a Hell where he's constantly trimming off dead branches while searching for the tree they grow from. His work is never done. Never, ever, and he'll be yelled at, and how disappointed everyone must be in him in this waking world, none of them even want to remember him -
What strange things a person thinks of while half-asleep. Who is it above him...? Where is Komaeda...? Ah, if only he could be so lucky as to be abandoned by him... ]
no subject
The second thing he's aware of his the sound of a voice and a body pressed against him. It makes the pain worse, but he can endure such things when he truly needs to. He wraps his arm around Komaeda in return, rubbing small circles on his back, his fingers curling to clutch a fistful of his shirt. There's the pain from being stabbed so many times, but there's something that catches him in his throat and squeezes it tight. It's not fair for him to wake up to find that he source of that burning pain was sitting on top of him.
He gives him a little squeeze to reassure him, and after their brief kiss he lets his hands run down to his waist. It's not quite something out of a romance, but their relationship has never been something so pristine. ]
There, there... You should know that I wouldn't leave you alone, Komaeda-kun. I had some business to attend to...
[ He leans forward to kiss him once more. His voice and smile are both strained. He's in poor shape, but his eyes still maintain that sharp look that always appears when he's focused on something or another. It's going to be a disaster to explain what transpired, but at present there's a bigger issue to resolve. He runs his hands up and down his side in gentle motions. ]
I'm grateful to you for not cutting my tongue out, and for helping me to wake up, but might I suggest a less vital area next time...? But we can talk about that later. I still have unfinished business with our visitor... You see, I won't interfere with the business of others...
[ He coughs and another tremor rolls down his spine. It's agonizing, but he'll just have to deal with this for now. ]
... But I just can't ignore it once a disease such as this begins to spread...
[ It might seem cruel and evil to others, but Hiyori sees no reason to interfere in someone's revenge scheme. Those who make their bed must lie in it, and only those targeted have any right to stop him. But it's unacceptable to target him or those close to him. ]
no subject
[ Anything that slows it will be fine, then. He places a bloodstained hand on Komaeda's cheek as he thinks on what's transpiring. He's a truly awful man to not have thought of this sooner, but that's what he gets for running away from a monster that creeps around in the shadows... This pain is what it gets him. There's a decent chance that he'll bleed out, a small miracle that he hasn't yet. But the Ultimate Lucky Student seems to always just barely avoid hitting the fatal points that he needs to.
He takes his hand back and works on unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes flick to the scratches on the door and he can feel the sickly feeling that turns his stomach and makes him want to curl up in a corner. He's not such a brave man, but rather one who presses past that when sensible. He can't rush it without harming himself, but he can't go so slow as to lose any advantage he might have either.
How to handle it... Ah, he should have acted sooner, how annoying that it took his unwanted guest took so long to present himself properly. But he looks upon Komaeda, pale faced and visibly pained, but there's that ever present glint of affection mixed in with it. He's not happy about the methods employed for this, an arm or a leg might have been preferable to vitals, but... ]
Thank you, Komaeda-kun, for waking me up... I'd still be trapped if not for you.
[ Perhaps he could have killed him, or perhaps not, but he would have been plunged back onto the same place that he always returns to at night. It's the Hell he crawled out of just to find himself in an even worse one, and it was those aches and pains that had reminded him of it - again and again, a constant throbbing pain, that reminder of how even now he's made a mockery of by those around him. If he doesn't acknowledge it at all, then they'll both be worse for it. ]
You did well.
no subject
Hiyori pulls the shirt over his head and slips out of it. He holds it up and wrinkles his nose at the sheer amount of blood before tossing it off to the side. His chest is wiped down and quickly bandaged with the skill and efficiency that one would expect of a person who's spent the better part of their life in medicine. He grimaces as he looks down at his injuries, then the collection of pills, and decides that he'd rather not put too much thought into what recovery looks like... Ah, he should focus on not bleeding out for now.
To Komaeda he offers a single nod. ]
Those will work.
[ He starts slipping out of his pants now. It's slow, but so is his efforts to stand up, and he sways as vertigo hits before stabilizing himself by gripping the back of the chair. His free hand coves to his chest as he takes in a handful of deep breaths. He does believe that a less critical area would be better. ]
.. You wouldn't really cut my tongue out, would you?
no subject
He looks off to the side, his lips curving down in a slight frown. ]
You're right. There's things that I would rather keep to himself.
[ He doesn't want Komaeda to hear him say that he is still the person that was chosen to become hope, nor of the cruelty he's capable of. If only he could understand the madness of his love as Hiyori does his of. Komaeda takes things out of the box and pushes out of the nest, Hiyori shackles and locks them up tight and swallows the key so that not even he himself can ever release them. His despair was born of love too, and it was love that saved him. It's the magic that he sprinkles about like fairy dust, an illusion that he plays with all the more for knowing what it is.
The clothes are just the right size, of course, as the Ultimate Lucky Student's talent is nothing to be scoffed at. He reaches to take them so he can slide them off the hanger and start to put them on, the pants coming before the shirt, and as he does so he wonders if that sameself luck means that he'd only heard the worst parts. ]
What did you hear that was so unpleasant that you'd cut out my tongue to avoid hearing any more?
[ No sense in beating around the bush. ]</small.
no subject
... Komaeda.
[ He's a little annoyed, but he already knows where he's going. Those who are tied together can always follow the string to the other end. Hiyori is no thing that goes bump in the night, not a creature that preys upon people, but one who works every day to secure a shred of the peace that he so desires. He filches, gritting his teeth. He does have to work fast. He has to do more, work harder, act quicker.
He had chalked Komaeda's lack of involvement up to his luck - no, that's not quite right, it's the fact that he's less of a threat. Hiyori is an apex predator that devours everything beneath him, and he had gone so far as to stick his nose into things here as he always does. The hand holding his jacket falls to his side while the other comes to cover his mouth as he coughs violently, pulling it away to see blood clinging to it. ]
Let's go.
[ He turns and starts toward the door. His movements are sluggish for the injuries that he's suffered, but he can keep going. He'll keep going as long as he needs to. ]
no subject
[ Those words come out sharper than he means them to. He swallows down the taste of iron in mouth. There's sweat beading on his forehead, and it takes an effort to keep his breath steady, but if he allows himself to stop then he's not sure he'll get back up. Hiyori, always so reasonable and careful, can be so stubborn at times like this. He's irritated enough about the refusal to answer to not want to accept any help, but he doesn't like the idea of Komaeda doing his dirty work either. It's only worthless, pathetic men who need another to do away with their demons.
Their fingers intertwine and their palms press together. Hiyori squeezes Komaeda's hand too tightly and his breath hitches as another wave of pain shoots through him. He forces that grip to loosen seconds later, giving it a gentler squeeze now, and he knows there's blood left on it. It wouldn't be wise for either of them to be alone now though. ]
Humans are capable of some tru--[ He suchs in a breath, a shudder running down in spine. ]--Truly marvelous things, aren't they? So don't worry... I won't let let anything happen to you.
[ He takes a few steps forward. His gait is slow. He feels weak and sluggish, and it's hard to keep his balance, but he has to keep going. But maybe it's enough that he keeps his husband with him, or maybe it's his hubris that allows him to? But he's never liked letting those he's taken under his wing out of his sight for fear that some interloper much scoop them up. ]
no subject
[ Does he want both of them all that much? He doesn't seem to have such interest in Komaeda, though perhaps that's because he doesn't have fears in the same way that Hiyori does. How do you frighten a person who fears neither injury or death, but only despair? But even that he sees as something that will be felled. He's a talented individual, if a delusional one.
He wouldn't be surprised if the real goal was to experience Hiyori's talent first hand. But he's struggling to come up with anything better when his condition is so poor, and he knows the right way to make an i incision without doing permanent harm.
Ah, he hates the idea of adding another scar to his beautiful body... ]
Are you a good shot...?
[ He mumbles while already being able to guess at the answer. He'd have no reason to have held a gun before, so if he were to hold it in his hand it would be a matter of relying on his luck. ]
(no subject)