( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori

[killed]

With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.

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[killed]

[ He sighs as he takes his hand back, curling his fingers and holding it near his chest before he finally lets it fall back down by his side. It's a complicated feeling that he can't hope to explain to another person, but he won't deny that he's wrong either. It's a bit difficult for Komaeda to understand such things, so he'll need to find a way to explain it to him properly. ]

I won't, because Komaeda-kun will keep those thoughts away... But whatever else I might be, I am a doctor first and foremost. Those under my care are all equal, and there is no disease that is too great for me to cure.

[There's a firmness to those words that leaves no word for argument. It's a point of pride for him, and not one that he takes lightly. It's the vile and sinful that he pays the closest attention to, and it's the most sickly that the world has abandoned, for he can give them what none other can. It's complicated and messy. Even if he were to try, he wouldn't be able to sort through all the thoughts and emotions that have kept him moving until now, but he knows that it was something that needed to be done.

He had offered her salvation before her heart stopped beating. Such a wonderful thing love is. ]

I cut that sickness out of her so that nothing would remain of it... Besides... [ He hums, searching for the right way to explain the other half of it before saying, ] ... A sinner who is purified in their final moments is a much better story for others to follow than a martyr who dies for their cause, don't you think?

[ If she's a martyr, then it's an inspirational story that others can follow and mimic. It has to be thought of as something that can be cured. If she's repentant, then it's no less a cautionary tale than any fairy tale - a foolish child eaten away by disease and despair, who so refused help that she could only find salvation at the very end. There will still be those foolish enough to admire it, but it won't have the same beauty and glory to it, nor the same obsessive need to carry on what was started. Those who do will be the weak posing as the strong. ]

... Now, what will it take for you to forgive me?

[killed]

No, such things can't exist outside of the body. It's nothing but trash now.

[ Komaeda is a burning hot flame as well. He's a true believer of all his own and just as extreme, but he's tempered by his simple wants and needs. The world he dreams of is one where the pain and suffering that he feels daily no longer exist, a veritable paradise that could never exist on this Earth.

He always makes him say things so directly.

It's not hard to guess at what he wants. He's fussing and picking things apart because he's been denied the knowledge of what happened, just as he always does when he wants something. The idea would still bother him, of course, but no doubt he would be more willing to fit it into the narrative were he satisfied knowing how well he had done. ]

You always fuss so much when you're denied something... [ He chuckles, reaching over to take his arm so he can pull him close, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him tight. He's the type to struggle and throw more of a tantrum if Hiyori doesn't soothe him, so he keeps going, ] ... Later, when it's just the two of us I'll tell you. Okay? It's a story meant for your ears only, so be patient.

[killed]

You deny me what I want.

[ However much Hiyori might hide, it's Komaeda that does him harm by denying him every day. His fingers curl, gripping the fabric of his shirt as his hand is scratched. It's uncomfortable, but he's not wiling to let go now that he's caught him. He's so childish at times like this. Hiyori's chest rises and falls as he huffs out a breath, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

It's not as though he's doing this out of spite. He thinks about teasing him more, but he knows Komaeda's moods, and he'll really will throw a tantrum if he thinks he's being ignored. ]

I do what's best for you, always, because I love you. I brought you to the library because it's the perfect place for us... It's quiet and it's never too crowded. We can pick out books for each other, or we can read together... We can do all of that without needing to worry about your luck.

[ It's a safe place for him... Ah, he probably thinks Hiyori won't tell him later later though, doesn't he? It's like him to find a way to get out of things. ]

... But we don't have to stay. Do you want to go home?

[killed]

[ NOT it'll make him more bold, so true his hands WILL be wandering... Hiyori gives him a little squeeze before one hand moves up to brush the hair out of his face. Everything he wants is of value, even if Komaeda can't see it. He wants him. He wants to keep this one piece of the world that he's sliced off for himself. He doesn't fuck Hiyori when he wants to and blames it on a lack of hope, as if he hadn't done everything he asked, and he throws tantrums, and he loves what Hiyori hates, but even so Hiyori loves him more than any other. ]

Komaeda is more valuable than anything else in this world. Your health and happiness are all I want.

[ But hearing a story won't make him happy. It might offer validation or create a pleasant memory, but it won't cure him. He thinks about pushing his luck a little further, but he can see that his cute husband is already twisting things around to suit his purposes. It was meant to be a fun date, not a way to ensnare him. He has him trapped now though, rocking back and forth with him and smiling softly despite the obvious agitation. ]

How about this... I'll answer one question for now, and I'll tell you the rest later. What do you think? Will you forgive me then?

[ He rubs small circles on his back as he speaks. It's not telling him the entire story, but it might be enough to assure him that he doesn't plan on hiding the entire affair. Beside that, it's a way of giving him a small win now. ]