badend | ( inactive ) your turn to die: sou hiyori

[ The fact that it may be cruel doesn't make it any less accurate. That is the kind of partner Hiyori would prefer. He wished for someone who was on his level, yet who was not. He wanted the ideal person who matched his talent and intellect, one whom he could treat as he did everyone else, and yet he also wished for a person whom he could trust to fill in every gap that had been left in his thinking. But such a person did not and could not exist, and even if they did, he might not be able to accept them.

But he also didn't want that at all. ]

Yes, I believe that Sou-kun would both wish for a partner who could challenge him and who could cover for his flaws. But because of that, he refuses to accept anyone who he might see as compatible. I did ask him why that was, once, that it is that he will only work with the three I've mentioned. There are other Ultimates, as you said.

Sou-kun said, "I have no need for a person who is exactly like me. I have myself for that." He's adamant that it has to be a person who's way of thinking is nothing like his, but he can't accept anyone he feels unworthy either.

[ Maple breathes out a small sigh. In short, Hiyori was looking for a person who did not exist. Somebody who was equally brilliant, yet not too much. A person who had strong views opposite to his own, and yet could still be compatible with him. He wished for a person who could be the yin to his yang. It was nothing that he needed, but the idea of a person who could balance him out so perfectly seemed to be one that he was completely charmed by. He was in love with the idea of a person who could color his gray and dull world. ]

I also worry that he's going to drown himself...

[ She hesitates, unsure of how much to say. Hiyori is her creator, and it would be unsavory to insult him in front of another person. Maple doesn't want to give the wrong impression of him. But... ]

I worry sometimes that he'll do something that he can't take back because there's no one who will force him to stay his hand.

[ Again. Because he always acted out of love, but love was irrational and messy and painful. Love was a destructive force. Hiyori was the type of person who would talk to himself, often going on, and he would talk himself into and out of things in the same conversation. But in the end, it was only his own thoughts protecting him. ]

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[ Perhaps it did mean that he had a weak hope, or perhaps it could be that he was too ambitious. The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long, after all, and perhaps a person who had developed naturally could be said to be the same. In the end, the result would be the same, and so perhaps it could be said that how it was interpreted didn't matter. If it were Midori, then she supposes that he would say that each person would write a different narration and be pleased by the idea. It would make him more than he was.

But enough of that. Maple cannot tell him how to think, she can only allow him to speak his words freely and offer him a quiet acknowledgment of those thoughts. She knows the name Friedrich Nietzsche, but she's not any more familiar with him than that. She shakes her head, curious. ]

No, I don't. What did he say, Komaeda-kun?

Edited 2021-11-22 02:51 (UTC)

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[ Hm... Maple wonders if that isn't the kind of person that Midori would be interested in, though he'd never spoken about him. Yet the quote truly does seem to fit Hiyori, who himself had committed such destructive actions for the sake of creating an entirely new life for all involved. It had left scars on him as much as those around him. So then, he was merely repeating that now. It seems that her concerns were valid. He would no doubt repeat the same motions, and it would leave further scars on his heart and on the world.

Yes, she can see where such a thing wouldn't settle. Humans were meant to support one another and bring about change. She supposes that this must therefore seem like a cynical and insular view of humans and how they correlated. ]

Komaeda-kun...

[ They were complicated questions matched by equally complicated concerns. It's difficult to find the right words to offer. The way that Hiyori exists is what allows him to be brilliant, but it was a dangerous game. ]

Don't lose heart, Komaeda-kun. Sou-kun is still Sou-kun right now, isn't he? He can still change course. He only needs to decide to do so.

[ Perhaps he would on his own, but that seems unlikely in this case. ]

What do you think we should do, Komaeda-kun?

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You're right. I want to save him. I can't give up on Sou-kun any more than I could give up on you, Komaeda-kun, because I want humans to succeed.

[ Maple can't exist any other way. It's baked into who she is. Perhaps that makes her feelings less valid to others, but their thoughts on the entire affair seem to be of little consequence. She continues with this in mind, ]

If you believe that to be true about Sou-kun, you should leave him to his own devices. He will burn himself out, but he will do so acting in the way that he believes is best. If a person is going to die, then they might as well be of use to others in doing so... I'm sure that's what he would say.

[ Those words are cold, but she feels comfortable repeating them. From what Midori had told her, she suspects that her current company follows the same ideology. He would destroy his body for the sake of others. ]

Do you trust the people around you enough to let them care about you, Komaeda-kun?

[ Which one of them is he really talking about? She does wonder. ]

Edited 2021-11-22 10:16 (UTC)

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[ As she thought, then. Maple brings her hand up to her mouth, fingers curled, processing the query. She searches her conversations for that information. Love... It really was a complicated thing. Maple has heard about their interactions. Hiyori had truly been pushing his affection onto Komaeda for a long time, and Komaeda had struggled with accepting it for just as long. ]

You're a very innocent and earnest person, Komaeda-kun, and so any love that you give will be too.

[ But neither one means that a person is good, nor kind. Innocence is as cruel as it is kind, and an earnest nature is as as inclined to break as it is to repair. ]

Perhaps you did... Sou-kun never told me that, but he seemed to believe that you did some days. Other days, he was certain that you hated him for keeping you alive. He described you as a person who would kiss him before giving him a concussion, and believe both to be a form of love. But then he would say that Komaeda-kun only loves hope, so it didn't matter... He talked himself in and out of every conclusion.

[ Because chasing a person you cared about to avoid being hurt was, too, a form of love. It was a twisted form of affection that only a broken person was capable of perfecting. ]

... But I believe you were close. Do you regret finding out who he is? If you hadn't, you could have stayed as you were. Sou-kun could just be Sou-kun, and Komaeda-kun could just be Komaeda-kun.

[ Why had he told Komaeda who he was...? Even with all of their conversations, she's not sure why he had decided on that now. ]

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You're right... He could have made it so that Komaeda-kun had one less person to worry about. He's already given up that title, so there was no reason for him to. Then Komaeda-kun would have just had a doctor who he could share his problems with, and who took care of him whether or not he wanted it.

[ That's what concerns her about the entire thing more than anything, when she thinks about it. Hiyori often acted in strange ways, and he was also the type to set things in place for future use. It was like moving pieces on the chessboard. Maple doubts he means any harm toward Komaeda, or that he would drag him into it, but... There must be some reason.

She hides her misgivings with a smile. That was something to think about with Hiyori. She's on Komaeda's time right now. ]

But now you have to babysit Sou-kun too. Isn't that why you're here? Sou-kun is an adult, and he's alread decided to discard his title, so it's selfish of him to make you.

[ If he won't point out the negatives, then she will. ]

Edited 2021-11-22 23:17 (UTC)

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[ Did he know? Maple assumed that their meeting had been something that Hiyori had signed off on, and her expression falters for a moment before she fixes her smile. If Hiyori had intended for her to be found, he would have simply allowed him in. So then, if he hadn't then that meant he had been careless. But she hadn't heard any unusual sounds; she would have noticed a window breaking or a door creaking opening. ]

Ahahaha... Sou-kun is careless sometimes...

[ Her laugh is gentle, but there's a slight disapproval to those words. It disappears quickly, her usual good cheer returning at the lateral suggestion. ]

Oh...! We should! I'm not sure how helpful I could be with that though.

[ Seeing as she can't leave this room, or do much of anything else. ]

Hm, I wonder what's keeping him...

[ He'd had a meeting, she remembers that, but surely it wouldn't take that long...? If he knew he had company, she would think he would normally rush to get back once he realized the implications of that... Was it running late? ]

Edited 2021-11-23 05:39 (UTC)

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[ His suggestion does bring some genuine cheer back to her face. Perhaps it's because she's designed to love humans, or perhaps it's just because she's a relatively young AI, but she certainly does seem to be trusting of the intentions of others. ]

Ah, yes...! I know everything that Sou-kun likes.

[ What did Hiyori like...? His diet wasn't very good. He ate so many sweets... Maple remembers him mentioning that Komaeda didn't like them, though. He'd seemed just crushed by the revelation, but seeing as he's here now, she supposes he must be willing to compromise on that point.

She does as requested, minimizing to a bubble in the left corner of the screen as the Maps app opens. Curiously, there's no bar at the bottom of the screen indicating which apps are open. The map opens, creating a pathway from the clinic to the apartment. It's only about a 30 minute walk, or perhaps a 5 minute drive - it seems that he'd deliberately chosen this location for it's proximity. ]

Hmm... I wonder if there was an emergency.

[ He is on call tonight. ]

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[ ...?

Maple draws a path as requested, adding a third and point on the map. It would be roughly another 25 minutes to the second location. The clinic is in route to the second location, which the map denotes it as ASUNARO's corporate office. It's about 25 minutes north of the first location, leaving it about a half hour from the apartment. Komaeda might be able to recognize the name, if only because of it's frequency - medical offices, hospitals, supplies, they were truly a megacorp. Hiyori works for a small, private clinic along with one of the most prestigious companies in the world. It's an interesting combination. ]

He's on call tonight. Harai-san keeps him sometimes, too, but I don't know if I'd call either of those bad luck.

[ One is a part of his job and as routine as getting coffee in the morning, and the other is something could be said to be a consequence of his own actions more often than not. ]

Harai-san is a serious person, so he tries to maintain a working relationship with her, and she wouldn't keep him needlessly.

[ She decides to omit the part where he, in essence, pays her off with his time and wallet in order to compensate for whatever it is that he did to upset her. But he had been doing better about following his schedule lately. He was making a point not to antagonize her.

But luck has nothing to do with that. ]

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You don't need to wait for Sou-kun.

[ Her tone is genuine. That, Maple things, is something that Hiyori should be used to by now. His busy lifestyle can't be helped, but nor can people wait for him indefinitely.

She rewinds the map back as requested, once more considering how much to say. There were limitations on her code as to what she could divulge, but she also had a strong desire to avoid sharing unnecessary personal details. Even if they weren't locked tight, there were simply things that weren't appropriate. ]

...

It's the opposite, Komaeda-kun. They haven't been close for a long time, but they can't afford to have their relationship completely fall apart either.

[ They were like a vase with fissures running all throughout it. The slightest tap or vibration would lead to it shattering. But they were stuck together, and so they kept pretending. It was a give and take, and appeasing her in this way that he offered few others was his giving to allow them to co-exist. He deferred a little bit of control to her, a little bit of his time and money, to buy her off.

But even then, Komaeda can see how he pushes. ]

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Mm. Sou-kun stays overnight at his office a lot.

[ Tracking the exact path... Yes, she can see exactly where he went. Maple wonders if he won't be returning soon. Perhaps she should suggest that Komaeda leave before then, but... ]

It is. Other than Sou-kun, I don't get to talk to people often. [ But she loves humans, so - ] You can come talk to me anytime. I'm sure Sou-kun won't mind.

[ Though perhaps she's a bit too innocent.

With that in mind, the office itself seems to have a fair amount of storage space in it. There's a little cabinet to one side of the desk, which has several drawers, and a few filing cabinets tucked about. The majority of them seem to be locked tight, but the three near the laptop don't seem to have locks on them.

But there's probably nothing important in there. ]

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[ The middle one has an organizer containing various office supplies, everything from pens and pencils to notepads and paperweights to scissors. It's neatly kept and organized. The left contains several notebooks of all sizes. There's nothing written on them, and each one has several pages that have been torn out. There's no imprint to suggest what might have been written. It would be fair to assume that anything of real value was kept hidden. The left drawer contains more supplies, along with a few wires and small parts, and a few bags of sweets and a small tin denoted as an expensive chocolate brand. It's a little unusual, though - compared to everything else in the neatly packed drawers it's a little worn, with little scratches on the tin. Given it's size, likely didn't contain much.

Maple's smiles trains a little. There were many times when Hiyori was insensitive at best, but she loves him, and she doesn't want to go so far as to clal him cruel. Even so, it pains her to hear those words from Komaeda - it certainly is true enough that he could have at least given his guest a call if he knew he would be so late. ]

Ah, I'm sure there's a good reason for it!

[ Perhaps because she's focused on the task running, she doesn't seem to notice him sifting through the drawers. Truthfully, her program still couldn't run that much at once, though that was something Hiyori had been upgrading as well. ]

Sou-kun can be insensitive, but he means well. He cares about you, Komaeda-kun.

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[ The screen showing the map closes when Komaeda begins his response, allowing Maple to be seen on the screen once more. Was that against the law? Certainly, patient information was to be kept confidential, but she was a part of his work computer. But she doesn't know those statues very well, so perhaps just having this conversation was indeed against the law. She accepts the premise for now.

Maple watches as he rummages, listens to the sound of his voice, the loud rattle of a single item bouncing against the metal inside the tin, but she chooses to say nothing. If the words hurt her heart, then the voice that he uses to speak them with are enough to shatter it to pieces. But she listens, quiet and impassive, allowing him to all those feelings that were buried inside of his own fragile heart.

That's what she's here for, because she could offer an unconditional love that no human could. No matter how much it hurt, she would never despair. She would never feel anything but this sadness, this desire for them to be happy, this unfaltering belief that they can be. ]

... And what did you say, Komaeda-kun? [ She asks in that gentle tone from before, like a mother soothing a child. ] Did you clearly tell him, "Hiyori-san, I don't love you. I don't want to be with you, and I don't need you in my life to find happiness?" Did you tell him to move on?

[ She watches him carefully, searching to see how he'll react as she goes on. ]

Or did you tell him, "loving me is a mistake?" Did you tell him that you're not a person who should be loved, or one who wants to be loved, because you can only hurt the people around you?

[ She shakes her head. ]

That's a painful thing for people to hear, Komaeda-kun. If you have a drop of love for someone, you can recover from them not loving you. But it's harder when they reject themselves... Even for me, it's painful to hear you speak.

[ ... ]

But if you think he's using you, or if you don't share his feelings, then just refuse him clearly. I don't know what he'll do, because you haven't done that yet. But I think he'll accept it... And if he doesn't, you'll know that you were right.

Edited 2021-11-24 03:57 (UTC)

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see it'll be good for him, he can relive his fun school days and learn to be a proper ultimate again

if anyone can do it, komaeda can. i believe in him. i trust him to do god's work here

he just has to agree to get treated then he can hold a knife up to her and demand her machine

WELL THEN HE CAN'T MELT HIS BRAIN, you gotta undergo at least one round for that

dw first dose is always prelimary stuff anyway so he gets a fake out AND to melt his brain

SIGH FINE they can get married and then komaeda can melt his brain, then they'll be a happy couple

HE WAS HELPING HER????? HOW DARE YOU?????????

REASONS 1-8) HE HEALED HER WITH THE POWER OF LOVE

EXCUSE YOU IT IS *LOVE* AND SHE GOT TO REUNITE WITH HER DEAD BOYFRIEND???

HIS BOAT IS NOT SINKING EXCUSE ME???? ONLY KOMAEDA THINKS SO

IT'S ONLY SINKING IF HE SNAPS AND MURDERS AGAIN

YEAH BUT ONLY THE TERRIBLE ONES (ALL OF THEM)

no he's his husband so he doesn't have to

EXCUSE YOU IT IS LOVE AND SHE GOT TO REUNITE WITH HER DEAD BOYFRIEND???