[ He does and he doesn't. That title was a ball and chain that had to drag along behind him. He undid the lock on it while using despair as the key, but he has no such illusions that a small setback like that would deter others from seeing it as anything but the astounding institution they've built it up to be. It was a trial for them to overcome, and their brilliance shined brighter. The boy laying with him is hardly the only one who would think it as such. But he's no Ultimate, it's been proclaimed such. It only means that they stripped him of their blessing and that ought be respected.
He humors himself with the idea of if enough people uncovered him, if he were to kick up enough fuss and gain enough esteem, if they would try to claim him once more. They might if there was benefit to be had, but they shouldn't, and he should like to think they were smart enough to avoid tethering themselves to a person who has no love for their institution once more. Those thoughts are the drugs speaking. ]
Komaeda-kun is an amazing person. He just can't see it.
[ He places his hand over the one reaching out. He'll try to push ti down, but it's not as though he has the strength to do much in this state. Breaking his fingers was nothing more than a pipe dream. Those so-called Ultimates were largely wastes of oxygen, able to stumble through doing one thing with empty heads, fortunate to be carried through life by title alone for how incompetent so mayn of them are. The so-called untalented majority proves to be of far more interest. ]
You can't... I don't want my stay to be longer than necessary.
[ It would be terrible for him if he succeeded, but without a doubt Hiyori would destroy what remained of his body trying to stop that. He lives up to the burden placed upon him, putting forth an impossible effort, all for the sake of his future. It would damage the wounds with the fresh air, and he would tear open each and every single one, vomit up blood and wind up separated for the world all the longer for the extra damage done. It's an amusing prospect, one that he's not quite object to, but that he doesn't support either.
But Komaeda might notice the subtle shift in speech patterns. It's more casual than what he tends to adopt, the prim and proper talk of a heir, no less intelligent but just a touch more in line with those he's so often around. The minority, the majority, they're all disgusting and inelegant. It's through careful effort and the training of his family that he learned to speak properly, but in his youthful years, in the best parts of those days, he had been as simple and easy as any child.
Old habits die hard, and at times such as this he forgets the wonderful adult he was groomed to be. He loses that mask, discards it, sets it back on the shelf in favor of something far simpler. But it's no less kind, and it's no less loving. ]
... Here, yes. I can't ask my family to visit me.
[ The fingers of his broken arm twitch. The knife went through flesh and bone, and it does raise a bit before flopping back down. His good hand comes up to lift it, seeming to entertain the idea of what to do with it before he tries to flop it down on Komaeda's lap. He can shove it off, break fingers, break the arm, whatever he'd like - theres no feeling it in right now, nothing except Hiyori all the closer and pushing against him to allow for that limp and worthless limb to settle.
His father is busy. His mother is gone, but she would be busy too, brilliant and talented and dedicated as she was... Would she have made time? Would she have come and fussed over him and cried? Would she have held him like before, told him how worried she was? His parents were always strict and distant, but warm and loving, and perhaps she would have. He'll never know now ]
Only Komaeda-kun has visited me... Michiru-chan and Emiri-chan for business...
[ Komaeda will no doubt recognize them as Namida-san and Harai-san, and perhaps these are old memories as well. A first name basis, chan for his cuties, but just detached and formal business partners now. ]
I can't imagine a life without my work. I'm sure it'd be lonely... And my stay now would be lonely without Komaeda-kun.
[ A life in which every second is filled, and thus loneliness and sadness have no chance to leak through. It's a happy, happy life, because his every desire and whim is fulfilled. His good hand lifts now to cup Komaeda's cheek so that he can kiss his temple, a sweet and chaste show of affection.
False loves are fleeting, going where the freeze takes them, but Hiyori's affections shall last so long as the sun burns bright - it'll eventually burst in a brilliant supernova, but until then, it shall shine its warmth and light on others. ]
[ It is. One doesn't learn to speak in such a proper, formal manner naturally; it takes time and effort, and so Hiyori had put in both in order to become the kind of person who would be loved by all. But in his youth he was just that, and his speech patterns had matched that of his peers. Even now, that easy going way of talking comes naturally to him if he allows it to. Yet, he doesn't because he's Sou Hiyori - beloved by all who meet him, formal and prim and proper, the ideal human being, above all the rest in every way.
Easy, causal, too familiar, and even a touch ridiculous - everyone has that phase, and it had never once held him back when he could use it to communicate freely and naturally with those around him. Children were easily tricked by an adult who made them feel loved and warm, adults swayed when confronted with a man of confidence and warmth and care, but in those days all that was needed was a natural born leader who could communicate easily and readily. It's easy to slip back into those old habits while under the focus on heavy drugs, enough to mask the pain of his various injuries.
Komaeda's arms around him, and he leans into that touch and the cheek rubbing against his head despite the lack of true affection behind it. ]
That doesn't matter. They're not coming for me, and I have no interest in them now.
[ It's a little too blunt perhaps, but there doesn't seem to be any harm intended. Rather, it's probably closer in line to what one would expect of a man who so rarely takes on anything. The smiles and kind remarks, the polite words and gentle rejections were nothing more than a dolled up version of stating that they were dull and colorless, unworthy of the attention of one whom could make others shiny as brightly as the stars in the sky. To earn that, one had to be different from all others - better, brighter, or otherwise dimmer, emptier, more despairing. ]
I'll worry too much if you leave now.
[ His good arm slides up now, rubbing Komaeda's before reaching up to the top of his head. Hiyori's mood does seem to have stabilized for the moment, and barring further agitation seems liable to stay as is. Youthful, personal, less guarded than he normally is - a version of himself that he doesn't dare show others. But he does laugh softly as he thinks on the state of the hospital. They were worse without him; every place that he left was, but... ]
Mm, it's not them... Sou gets special treatment because of who he is. Mmn, but I shouldn't let them treat Komaeda-kun like this.
[ He has the sense that a week isn't long enough to recover from a chest wound, especially not for a patient who has such a long list of health issues, but he accepts it readily enough. It's not a matter of being broken or whole, but one of what makes sense within the confines of health. It's better to spend additional time int he hospital than it is to wind up there once more, as Hiyori himself had known and decided to ignore. Once, twice, and this third time would be expected to be the last.
How sad though. Love is giving all of yourself to a person, and if he could only do so, then Komaeda would find that Hiyori would love and care for every last inch of him in a way that no one else can. He thinks on that a little, but it comes and goes. There's a soft kiss instead, and his hand reaches up to brush his fingertips along his cheek. There doesn't seem to be much hidden now - a glazed look, a lackadaisical smile, and words that are slurred yet undeniably pleased.
It's like opening up a time capsule and finding the Sou Hiyori of Hope's Peak, a person who's been gone for so many years. Effort and love erased that person long ago. ]
That's enough... Oh, but we can get married again! I want a big wedding... We could get a planned, we'd just need colors... Maybe green, white and gold?
[ Don't mind him, he seems to be caught up in his thoughts now. He'd like a western style wedding, he thinks. They're flashy and gaudy and expensive, exchanging vows and rings in a chapel before moving onto a reception that costs thousands of dollars for a single evening. ]
I want a white cake with raspberry filling... It's my wedding say, so I can have the entire top layer~ ♪
[ It goes without saying that even for a multi-tier cake, that would be far too much for one person, and at any rate it would be nothing short of ill-mannered to take so much. He manages to lift himself up just a little bit now, just enough to hook his elbow around the back of Komaeda's neck before he flops back down. It's the idle thoughts and dreams of a romantic. He hums happily as he thinks about this. ]
[ White for purity, gold for love and wisdom, green for growth and renewal. They're colors well suited for the pair of them, and well-suited for a pair of lovers coming together. Green, he thinks, is their color. Hiyori lets out a happy little sigh as he imagines something extravagant and beautiful. He's been to several weddings in his time, each one as rich and luxurious and lovely. If his father wouldn't be happy to see him with a sickly youth, he would likely at least defrost a bit upon realizing they were in the same wealth class. ]
Mmn, we can do floral centerpieces on the table and surround them with candles, and have jars with sand and green leaves and floating candles... It might be hard to cut with a sword though, but I believe we could manage it.
[ It's probably not an idea he would be fond of once sober, but with enough drugs everything starts to seem like a wonderful idea. ]
Bachelor party? Ah, isn't it supposed to be planned by the groom's best friend? Maybe I can ask Emiri-chan~ ♪
That sounds nice. We can do both then. I want to pop them all~ ♪
[ It's like bubble wrap. There's something satisfying about squeezing the air bubbles until they burst. Balloons are teh same way, he'd like to take a needle and pop each and every single one to hear that loud burst and see the confetti drop out along with the gold and white remnants. It's a child's game rather than a wedding game, but the idea is entertaining and so he doesn't care.
As for Harai, well... ]
Hm... She'll make a funny face when I ask!
[ Which is clearly the most important than asking someone who would agree to it, or actually having it. He's not terribly attached to the idea. ]
[ Hiyori chuckles as he feels Komaeda's arms move around his own, and he does manage to lean over to kiss the top of his head, and it feels very nice and natural to have him there. It is traditional. Harai wouldn't agree, but it would funny to see her face, and he knows of a few others who might not mind doing so. He's not terribly close to anyone, but there's plenty who are fond enough of him. ]
Hm? Then I'll have to keep it a secret! Hm, we'll have to make sure you have one too.
[ That way it's fair. Komaeda doesn't have any close friends, but he has classmates. If they're not eager on their own, then they would certainly be convinced by the promise of other benefits... But surely there must be at least a few who would be amendable without that. ]
Where should we go for our honeymoon? What about St. Lucia~? ♡
[ His face is guided by that cool hand, and soft kisses come one after another. If he could, Hiyori would probably roll onto his side and pull Komaeda close, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. He'd be overbearing with his affection, running his fingers through hair and kissing the top of his head and more with no regard. But his body is useless now, his body injured from top to bottom and heavy from drugs and his mind barely capable of thought. Such as it is, everything is on Komaeda's time and every action and movement and show of affection can be guided by his hand.
He searches his memory for what he knows about Dubai. It's a conservative and religious state, one that clings to a way of life that have no place in the era of information. He doesn't immediately object though. ]
[ It is, and he's not fond of that. It would be quite bothersome were the thought to occur to him. He nods a little, and Hiyori thinks he should get a bouquet one of these days. ]
Hm... I suppose it's not important where. It's who you're with. Besides, we can go to as many places as we want.
[ A honeymoon is a special time, but so is every trip thereafter. ]
[ Hiyori does. He's quite the fan. He's less so of religious states, but he doesn't see this as an objectionable idea at the present time. If anything, he's fixated on the idea of having a honeymoon at all. A cute honeymoon, going on vacations and trips with his cute husband, it's those thoughts that occupy him. ]
We should visit Hitachinaka sometime. We could stay for a day or two.
[ The way every action causes him pain isn't missed. Hiyori watches his back as he searches for an item that's not there, and he wonders if he should stop him. It would be bad if he reopened the wound. His hand does reach out though, taking a lock of hair and holding it for a moment before letting it slip through his fingers. He has no where that he can put it that isn't sore and sensitive, and so he lets his arm drop down to his side.
He thinks that might be the end of it, and it's easy for him to start dozing off during the short lull before he snaps back to awareness as he finds Komaeda hovering above him. It's not until there's a kiss pressed against his neck that he catches the implication, and he draws in a breath before swallowing. Cool lips press against his skin, and they could... It would be a poor idea, with both of them being drugged and injured, but they could. ]
[ STOP he's crippled and on opioids he's just helpless rn.
He does feel it, but it's like touching a numbed area. He feels it, but it's not as potent as it might have normally been. He leans his head back as Komaeda nibbles on it, though, and licking the area thereafter proves more lucrative. There's a soft gasp, followed by a shiver as he moves up to his ear. Warm breath in his ear, that soft voice, and it's like being given an electric shock. ]
We're b--mmph...
[ He loses his train of thought as those kisses continue. His lips are cool, just like the rest of him, and it compliments the warmth of his breath well. Hiyori's hand slides up his arm around to his back. His breath is growing more shallow. Where was he? ]
... Injured...
[ He's missing most of a word there, but at least he kept the sentence. This isn't the best idea for either of them right now. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
He humors himself with the idea of if enough people uncovered him, if he were to kick up enough fuss and gain enough esteem, if they would try to claim him once more. They might if there was benefit to be had, but they shouldn't, and he should like to think they were smart enough to avoid tethering themselves to a person who has no love for their institution once more. Those thoughts are the drugs speaking. ]
Komaeda-kun is an amazing person. He just can't see it.
[ He places his hand over the one reaching out. He'll try to push ti down, but it's not as though he has the strength to do much in this state. Breaking his fingers was nothing more than a pipe dream. Those so-called Ultimates were largely wastes of oxygen, able to stumble through doing one thing with empty heads, fortunate to be carried through life by title alone for how incompetent so mayn of them are. The so-called untalented majority proves to be of far more interest. ]
... Is being near me that bad?
no subject
[ It would be terrible for him if he succeeded, but without a doubt Hiyori would destroy what remained of his body trying to stop that. He lives up to the burden placed upon him, putting forth an impossible effort, all for the sake of his future. It would damage the wounds with the fresh air, and he would tear open each and every single one, vomit up blood and wind up separated for the world all the longer for the extra damage done. It's an amusing prospect, one that he's not quite object to, but that he doesn't support either.
But Komaeda might notice the subtle shift in speech patterns. It's more casual than what he tends to adopt, the prim and proper talk of a heir, no less intelligent but just a touch more in line with those he's so often around. The minority, the majority, they're all disgusting and inelegant. It's through careful effort and the training of his family that he learned to speak properly, but in his youthful years, in the best parts of those days, he had been as simple and easy as any child.
Old habits die hard, and at times such as this he forgets the wonderful adult he was groomed to be. He loses that mask, discards it, sets it back on the shelf in favor of something far simpler. But it's no less kind, and it's no less loving. ]
... Here, yes. I can't ask my family to visit me.
[ The fingers of his broken arm twitch. The knife went through flesh and bone, and it does raise a bit before flopping back down. His good hand comes up to lift it, seeming to entertain the idea of what to do with it before he tries to flop it down on Komaeda's lap. He can shove it off, break fingers, break the arm, whatever he'd like - theres no feeling it in right now, nothing except Hiyori all the closer and pushing against him to allow for that limp and worthless limb to settle.
His father is busy. His mother is gone, but she would be busy too, brilliant and talented and dedicated as she was... Would she have made time? Would she have come and fussed over him and cried? Would she have held him like before, told him how worried she was? His parents were always strict and distant, but warm and loving, and perhaps she would have. He'll never know now ]
Only Komaeda-kun has visited me... Michiru-chan and Emiri-chan for business...
[ Komaeda will no doubt recognize them as Namida-san and Harai-san, and perhaps these are old memories as well. A first name basis, chan for his cuties, but just detached and formal business partners now. ]
I can't imagine a life without my work. I'm sure it'd be lonely... And my stay now would be lonely without Komaeda-kun.
[ A life in which every second is filled, and thus loneliness and sadness have no chance to leak through. It's a happy, happy life, because his every desire and whim is fulfilled. His good hand lifts now to cup Komaeda's cheek so that he can kiss his temple, a sweet and chaste show of affection.
False loves are fleeting, going where the freeze takes them, but Hiyori's affections shall last so long as the sun burns bright - it'll eventually burst in a brilliant supernova, but until then, it shall shine its warmth and light on others. ]
no subject
Easy, causal, too familiar, and even a touch ridiculous - everyone has that phase, and it had never once held him back when he could use it to communicate freely and naturally with those around him. Children were easily tricked by an adult who made them feel loved and warm, adults swayed when confronted with a man of confidence and warmth and care, but in those days all that was needed was a natural born leader who could communicate easily and readily. It's easy to slip back into those old habits while under the focus on heavy drugs, enough to mask the pain of his various injuries.
Komaeda's arms around him, and he leans into that touch and the cheek rubbing against his head despite the lack of true affection behind it. ]
That doesn't matter. They're not coming for me, and I have no interest in them now.
[ It's a little too blunt perhaps, but there doesn't seem to be any harm intended. Rather, it's probably closer in line to what one would expect of a man who so rarely takes on anything. The smiles and kind remarks, the polite words and gentle rejections were nothing more than a dolled up version of stating that they were dull and colorless, unworthy of the attention of one whom could make others shiny as brightly as the stars in the sky. To earn that, one had to be different from all others - better, brighter, or otherwise dimmer, emptier, more despairing. ]
I'll worry too much if you leave now.
[ His good arm slides up now, rubbing Komaeda's before reaching up to the top of his head. Hiyori's mood does seem to have stabilized for the moment, and barring further agitation seems liable to stay as is. Youthful, personal, less guarded than he normally is - a version of himself that he doesn't dare show others. But he does laugh softly as he thinks on the state of the hospital. They were worse without him; every place that he left was, but... ]
Mm, it's not them... Sou gets special treatment because of who he is. Mmn, but I shouldn't let them treat Komaeda-kun like this.
[ He closes his eyes, murmuring, ]
Mmn, please...? My cute husband... ♡
no subject
How sad though. Love is giving all of yourself to a person, and if he could only do so, then Komaeda would find that Hiyori would love and care for every last inch of him in a way that no one else can. He thinks on that a little, but it comes and goes. There's a soft kiss instead, and his hand reaches up to brush his fingertips along his cheek. There doesn't seem to be much hidden now - a glazed look, a lackadaisical smile, and words that are slurred yet undeniably pleased.
It's like opening up a time capsule and finding the Sou Hiyori of Hope's Peak, a person who's been gone for so many years. Effort and love erased that person long ago. ]
That's enough... Oh, but we can get married again! I want a big wedding... We could get a planned, we'd just need colors... Maybe green, white and gold?
[ Don't mind him, he seems to be caught up in his thoughts now. He'd like a western style wedding, he thinks. They're flashy and gaudy and expensive, exchanging vows and rings in a chapel before moving onto a reception that costs thousands of dollars for a single evening. ]
I want a white cake with raspberry filling... It's my wedding say, so I can have the entire top layer~ ♪
[ It goes without saying that even for a multi-tier cake, that would be far too much for one person, and at any rate it would be nothing short of ill-mannered to take so much. He manages to lift himself up just a little bit now, just enough to hook his elbow around the back of Komaeda's neck before he flops back down. It's the idle thoughts and dreams of a romantic. He hums happily as he thinks about this. ]
Hmm, hmm, hmm~ ♪
no subject
Mmn, we can do floral centerpieces on the table and surround them with candles, and have jars with sand and green leaves and floating candles... It might be hard to cut with a sword though, but I believe we could manage it.
[ It's probably not an idea he would be fond of once sober, but with enough drugs everything starts to seem like a wonderful idea. ]
Bachelor party? Ah, isn't it supposed to be planned by the groom's best friend? Maybe I can ask Emiri-chan~ ♪
[ She'll probably make a cute face if he does. ]
no subject
[ It's like bubble wrap. There's something satisfying about squeezing the air bubbles until they burst. Balloons are teh same way, he'd like to take a needle and pop each and every single one to hear that loud burst and see the confetti drop out along with the gold and white remnants. It's a child's game rather than a wedding game, but the idea is entertaining and so he doesn't care.
As for Harai, well... ]
Hm... She'll make a funny face when I ask!
[ Which is clearly the most important than asking someone who would agree to it, or actually having it. He's not terribly attached to the idea. ]
no subject
Hm? Then I'll have to keep it a secret! Hm, we'll have to make sure you have one too.
[ That way it's fair. Komaeda doesn't have any close friends, but he has classmates. If they're not eager on their own, then they would certainly be convinced by the promise of other benefits... But surely there must be at least a few who would be amendable without that. ]
Where should we go for our honeymoon? What about St. Lucia~? ♡
no subject
He searches his memory for what he knows about Dubai. It's a conservative and religious state, one that clings to a way of life that have no place in the era of information. He doesn't immediately object though. ]
Why there?
no subject
Hm... I suppose it's not important where. It's who you're with. Besides, we can go to as many places as we want.
[ A honeymoon is a special time, but so is every trip thereafter. ]
no subject
[ Hiyori does. He's quite the fan. He's less so of religious states, but he doesn't see this as an objectionable idea at the present time. If anything, he's fixated on the idea of having a honeymoon at all. A cute honeymoon, going on vacations and trips with his cute husband, it's those thoughts that occupy him. ]
We should visit Hitachinaka sometime. We could stay for a day or two.
[ The Hitachi Seaside Park is beautiful. ]
no subject
He thinks that might be the end of it, and it's easy for him to start dozing off during the short lull before he snaps back to awareness as he finds Komaeda hovering above him. It's not until there's a kiss pressed against his neck that he catches the implication, and he draws in a breath before swallowing. Cool lips press against his skin, and they could... It would be a poor idea, with both of them being drugged and injured, but they could. ]
Ah... That might be difficult.
[ He's stuck. ]
no subject
He does feel it, but it's like touching a numbed area. He feels it, but it's not as potent as it might have normally been. He leans his head back as Komaeda nibbles on it, though, and licking the area thereafter proves more lucrative. There's a soft gasp, followed by a shiver as he moves up to his ear. Warm breath in his ear, that soft voice, and it's like being given an electric shock. ]
We're b--mmph...
[ He loses his train of thought as those kisses continue. His lips are cool, just like the rest of him, and it compliments the warmth of his breath well. Hiyori's hand slides up his arm around to his back. His breath is growing more shallow. Where was he? ]
... Injured...
[ He's missing most of a word there, but at least he kept the sentence. This isn't the best idea for either of them right now. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
three days later i realize that i didn't post this the first time i wrote it
STOP THIS IS WHY I'M SICK OF IT
ur right, this is his life now. i think they both desereve this
NOT THEIR PORN ERA it kind of is, we should record them
u mean komaeda's blackmail material
NOT HIS SPERM SWIPING... see the blackmail material is to ensure he'll be a good father
STOP IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES i'm ending this
STOP I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE i'm happy for both of them, the start of their family
HIS FIRST AND LAST NUT 753 TAGS LATER
STOP HE DIDN'T EVEN LET KOMAEDA CUM INSIDE, HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT
I KNOW, SO I'M GOING TO RUIN IT FOR HIM!!
I HATE THAT ABOUT HIM, HE'S SICK IN THE HEAD
CLOSES MY EYES SO I DO NOT SEE IT
I OPENED THEM AND IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED IT
I FEEL LIKE I NEED AN EXORCISM RN
I GOTTA RID MYSELF OF THIS EVIL ONCE AND FOR ALL
NOT UR BOO... OK YEAH HE'S MY HUSBAND I GUESS I'M STUCK WITH HIM
HE REALLY IS IT'S PRETTY CUTE OF HIM NGL
my definition of cute is objectively correct
ok i can't even deny that, insanity is everything that i know and love