( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori

[killed]

With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.

Comments

roll: 10

[killed]

Hm...? Our decision...?

[ He keeps his eyes on Komaeda, patiently waiting for clarification. Hiyori can't remember making a decision, nor can he discern what he might be claiming ownership of. It's too far detached from his own way of thinking. But he realizes that something is off, so perhaps that's a start.

It's stranger still when the topic suddenly shifts. It's a bit difficult for him to keep up. ]

It's been that way for me as well... It might be difficult to convince them now. Have you tried asking?

[ It would be difficult for either of them, really, as they're both seen as a safety hazard for different reasons. It's a hassle, but he supposes they might bend on the issue for him. His hand remains in place, and he makes no effort to movie. It's all a bit odd, really. ]

rolle: 17

[killed]

Ahaha... I'm not doing much walking right now.

[ He looks down with a wry smile, and it stings to say that. He takes his scarf back though, resting it on his lap for the moment. He's still trying to work through what decision he could be referring to. Komaeda is emotional and impulsive, and he tends to make spur of the moment decisions that will only harm him in the long run. He'll have to mention it to someone.

He carefully folds the scarf in his lap, smoothing it out as he looks down. It's a shame that he's so reckless, otherwise he might have been able to leave it with him for a time. ]

You shouldn't be lifting anything in your condition... If you're having a hard time, you should ask one of the nurses. They'll be happy to assist you.

[ Practiced and professional words that are marred by the sleepy tone, and he's quick to move on once more, ]

We should go to the zoo too.. We can go to one where you can meet with the animals... Perhaps we can pet the fennecs? We could feed the sea lions too. ♪

[killed]

[ Hiyori knows that look well. He doesn't like what's been suggested, nor the change in conversation... It's a little disappointing. He's rather fond of the idea of being able to take him to such places - the aquariums and zoos where they can see fish and animals, the planetarium where they can learn of the stars, museums where they can see art and innovation... Those places along with so many others.

But Komaeda doesn't want that now, and so he offers a sheepish smile despite how dejected he is. ]

Yes... I'm sure they will be. I'll heal up quickly so that we can! ♡

[ He leans forward, taking another drink from his bottle. ]

For now... I suppose that we'll have to make due with what we had. You wanted me to go with you, didn't you? Ah, if I won't cause you too much trouble...

[killed]

[ There's a little twitch of his shoulders and a slight tilt of the head after the feels lips brushing against the back of his head. It does improve his mood a little, almost enough to temper the humiliation of having another person offer to him with basic tasks. It's true though, it's difficult for him without assistance.

He opens his mouth to remind him that there's no need for that, but he stops just short of it. Komaeda means it when he says that he wants to be of help, as any person would with someone they care about, and so maybe this is only natural. In sickness and in health, a husband to support his ailing spouse.

He should at least allow this much. So after a moment of thought he instead says, ]

Thank you, Komaeda-kun. You could never be a burden to me, but even so, I'm grateful...

[ The bottles are left behind. He's already lost his taste for them, as nothing seems to stay palatable for very long these days. ]

Maybe I can convince them to let me keep coming out so we can see each other more... I've missed you.

[killed]

[ His heart skips a beat when he feels Komaeda's chin on his shoulder. It's difficult to keep track of time at a time when he mind is so often gone. This is one of those rare times when he has clarity, and he supposes that they must be starting to lower the dose to keep him from being inebriated, or perhaps he's just developed a tolerance to it.

Hiyori would like to sit under the sun with him, to sit on the beach and feel the breeze tickling their cheeks, to inhale the smell of the sea as they lean against one another. He wants to lay his head in his lap and look up at him, to smile at him and reach up and touch his cheek as he does now, tilting his head so their temples touch. He slips away too soon, but Hiyori tilts his head back to look up.

It's not the same when he can't hear his name. The more time that passes with him, the more he starts to think that the reason that they were separated doesn't matter, and the fact that the nurse's don't seem to notice them heading toward the door tells him this way of thinking is correct. They must be distracted by some patient or another. It's a hospital, so incidents occur often enough.

He wants to be called Sou again. ]

You're wonderful, Komaeda-kun... I would have you by my side always if you'd only let me.

[ He blinks a few times, slow blinks as he tries to find a solution to their current predicament. Then he shakes his head. ]

You won't try to leave me again? I'm sure I can convince them to place us in a room together again... You can come back with me now. That will be fine.

[ There's so many problems with that and so many reasons that he actually can't, but he doesn't care about those. ]

[killed]

[ They'll tell both of them no, though of course it would be a much firmer one should they believe that another coerced him into doing so, but kiss after kiss and the feeling of fabric under his hand as he places it on Komaeda's arm assures him that there will be no problems should he only make his desires known. The shiver that runs down his spine promises that while they hold so much sway over his life, but he only need find someone to afraid to say no to him. They aren't all as strong willed as the one that had overseen his care for a time.

It has been lonely without this, and his eyes brighten a little as he watches him pull back. doesn't take his eyes off of the ultimate lucky student long enough to confirm it for himself, but he can tell that the hallway is empty from the lack of noise. It's like they're the only two i the world like this, and so he finds that he's content even with having to look up to him from where he's seated. ]

They will... It's alright. I'll speak with them. They're rather strict with Komaeda-kun, aren't they? I'm sure it must seen harsh, but it's only because they care.

[ He sighs, already knowing that his patient won't understand. They never do, and it's worse with someone like Komaeda who is still a child in so many ways. But he'll come to appreciate it one day. His patients always learn to appreciate what he's done for them in the end. ]

But you've been handling it well, haven't you? I'm proud of you... So I'm certain that they won't object to it at all.

[ Those thoughts aren't quite connected properly. There's no reason that his feelings on the entire affair should matter, and in fact it will likely be seen as all the more reason to keep them separated. Still, he seems certain that they'll see things his way, and he's likely right. ]

[killed]

[ He wouldn't trust the so-called "Ultimate" Nurse with a corpse, much less the care of someone he considers to be so important. It's a miracle that Hope's Peak is able to pick up such treasures as himself and his coworkers when the majority is common trash that lacks talent and charm alike, skirting by on name recognition and records of where they went to school.

But such thoughts would be callous to voice aloud, and the drugs dampen his bitterness a tad, and so he's able to maintain his smile and keep his focus on The person presently with him. Hiyori would like to leave too. He doesn't want to be in this place, his mind muddled and his decisions limited, among people who humor him more than they listen to him. It's frustrating, enough that he himself might leave if given the opportunity. Alas, there's no escape for him, and attempting to do so should only leave him trapped here longer. ]

I know, I know...

[ He keeps his voice quiet and soothing, lifting his hands as Komaeda takes his scarf before resting them back down on his lap. ]

I'm sure they'll listen to my request, and then we can try for other things as well... For example, we could spend the day outside... We can see the flowers in bloom, and hear the birds singing...

[ Did he need to go to the bathroom? Not particularly, but he's so easily led along that he hadn't refused either, so it's well enough. It is, he thinks, a place where they won't immediately be scolded for being too close. ]

There's no ducks here, but perhaps we could see if we can't feed the birds? I think that sparrows are quite cute myself. We might see starlings as well. Wouldn't that be nice?

[killed]

[ The answer is obvious, and it's one that Komaeda knows well by now. His answer never changes, no matter how many times he's asked. It's a wonderful and pure love that drives his every action.

He's glad to see the idea well received, and it reaffirms his decision to see it through. It will do both of them good. Hiyori is tired of being inside, of sterile walls and objects and the endless fussing of those around him, and to breathe in fresh air and hear more sounds than a droning TV or the footsteps and voices of those passing by, the squeaking of wheels and the opening and shutting of doors, everything about it delights him.

Perhaps it can curb some of the other's worst inclinations. He can be difficult and beyond reason sometimes, but at other times he's simple enough to reason and bargain with should one be willing to give a little.

He allows the other to finish, and when he does Hiyori blinks a few times, surprised but not displeased by the question. His expression warms seconds later, and there's an earnest and loving smile that he hasn't quite managed since the night they spent together. He places one hand on his knee to keep himself stable as h leans forward, reaching out to let the backs of his fingers brush against the younger ultimate's face before sliding down his arm to take his hand. ]

Nothing would make me happier.

[ That same warmth and affection is there in his voice, in his touch, and his heartbeat quickens as he matches with his own soft laugh. It's not like Komaeda to be so bold, but he's glad. ]

We can go through the gardens, and I believe we should be able to bring a little picnic basket with us too! ☆ Then perhaps we could pluck a few flowers to take with us to add some color...

[ They can view the garden and feed the birds. They can stop if they get hungry and have a meager meal before continuing on, and they can stop and talk and simply enjoy each other's company... It's not quite the same as being able to go to a real park, but that's fine. They can forget where they are for awhile, and if they so wish, surely they can do so again. ]

We'll make it into a wonderful date.

[killed]

[ A morality colored in gray with black outlines that are painted with colors made together the hope sold by proselytism. The idea sold he Hope's Peak is an infectious disease that's spread to every corner of the country, that's wiggled its way into the world via the internet, infecting everyone and offering the pretense of salvation as readily as any harbinger of destruction. The school will be the downfall of the world if it's allowed to be, and of that Hiyori is certain. He can be certain of it because his world has always been just as as devoid of color, a world that is at once dull and boring and frightening and exciting.

His empty world which can be colored only by love. It's love in the form of red stains splattered across the wall, hatred and affection spilling through his fingers as it drips onto the table and floor. It bleeds color into it before it fades out once more.

But he stopped noticing it some time ago, on that day when he first realized what true fear was, and so unlike at that moment, unlike in his daily life, under the influence of drugs he can smile in such a carefree manner himself, ]

Hm... It's a bit late to do everything today, but we could go outside for awhile. We could get a better idea of the layout, and decide where the best spots to stop might be.

[ Having worked here for some time, Hiyori knows the layout well enough, but that knowledge is muddled and mixed in his memory. Even so, he recalls that there are places in which are perfect for everything he's suggested thus far, as he had scouted them out for the sake of offering his patients suggestions when they grow weary of being trapped. He's even engaged in such activities from time to time, but he could never afford to do so at the leisurely pace that he suggests to Komaeda. It was always a part of his job, as is everything else.

But it's of little consequence. It's easier to learn the second time around, and it's more enjoyable than simply saying that he has the lay of the land. ]

You could come back to my room after if you'd like too... I wouldn't do to send you back to an empty room after.

[ He had mentioned being lonely, after all, and if he wanted another then certainly that could come in time. Besides, if they do that... ]

Then we can talk until we fall asleep, and tomorrow when we wake up we can have our date.

[killed]

[ It is too late, and he's certain that he'll be scolded just for this little rendezvous. The staff will want to watch the pair for the duration of every interaction for their joint safety. Hiyori is a more immediate concern to them, but on the whole they're hardly eager to slight him. They've already failed in that task in letting him be taken though, and there will be quite the fuss once they notice that he's missing. ]

It's only for a little while. It won't cause any issues.

[ He does wish he were in better condition though. There's nothing more frustrating than being able to even lift himself out of a chair. He lets his arms rest on the armrests, fingers tapping against the edge as they bounce up and down. In his mind, this is far better than letting that agitation continue to build up, but perhaps that's because he's still thinking as a doctor rather than a patient. The latter has never come naturally to him, and months spent in treatment has done nothing to change that fact.

There's a shiver a shirt is lifted and his torso is suddenly exposed to the open air. There are still clean bandages wrapped around his torso, but the area underneath them has slowly begun to heal. There's no red or rust-colored stains caused by the simple task of sitting upright now, and with any luck he might be mobile before much longer. .. Overall, it's a vast improvement from where he had started.

It would be bad if he was too late for his pills, however. ]

I miss being able to spend time with you.

[killed]

[ Komaeda proves his own point when he presses his finger against Hiyori's abdomen and in turn drawing a small sound from Hiyori. The pressure is still noticeable, if not quite as painful as before, as the area beneath the bandages is still red and sensitive from the various treatments and multiple surgeries completed thus far to ensure that organs and tissue heal properly and to treat and prevent wound dehiscence. Better, but not yet healed, while an adequate amount of drugs leaves it nothing more than noticeable.

He's not wrong either. Hiyori has lost weight since coming here, at first from dietary restrictions and then from a simple lack of appetite. They've taken to giving him Ensure to aid with maintaining his current weight, if not regaining what was lost, but it's difficult even with that. ]

Yes... That would probably be best. Forgive me for troubling you.

[ But it's best done before he can see them wear off in the middle of their excursion. ]

I supposed I should at least try to eat more... I believe at this point, the drugs are doing more harm to me than you would. My life is better just for having you near, as your presence is a light that can illumine the deepest darkness!

[ It's a problem, really. Hiyori won't give them up because they make his current state of being tolerable, but it sees as though his mind is always foggy now, his body heavy, and his appetite nonexistent. He'll be happier weened off of them, he's sure. When compared to that, Komaeda is practically harmless, and his flowery manner of speech and references aren't entirely inaccurate.

But if he were to put it more simply - ]

I love you far too much to be without you.

[killed]

Will you still kiss me after?

[ He's teasing, but he seems pleased with the offer. The idea of being able to go to a cafe and have coffee or tea with pastries, to be able to sit across from each other and smile and talk while tucked away into a booth or at a table makes his heart swell. It would be nice if he could heal quickly for that, or if they'd just let him do outpatient care. They won't though, not when he's so prone to getting into trouble himself. He never was one to sit idly by while the world continued to move around him.

But he wants to be able to leave quickly, to leave without looking back.

For now he has to settle for watching his tired expression in the mirror, along with the sight of the younger ultimate planting kisses. The sensation of cool lips pressing against his skin, leaving behind bits of saliva alternating with warm breath sends shivers down his spine. They're kisses that fill his heart up and threaten to steal his breath away, an exaggerated show of affection that makes him want more and more - more of his affectionate touch, of his romantic words, more of all of him.

He wants to see more of his smile, and Hiyori wants to know what it might look like were that smile to reach his eyes and fill them with even just the faintest sparkle of light. ]

I love you too, Komaeda-kun...

[ He lets out a contented sigh as the last kiss comes before he turns his head to the side and tilts it, reaching one hand back to offer it to him as he notices the look on his face. ]

While I'm with you I need not fear anything, and nor should you. I'll be the strength that holds you up and the firm grip that holds you steady through trying times, and I shall let no harm come.

[ His luck is good, his luck is bad, and if he continues on then something good will come of it. But he believes that Ultimates cannot be touched by it, and perhaps that belief holds some power, or maybe it's just luck in and of itself. Hiyori isn't certain, but he himself has always been a fortunate one - good things come to him naturally, and when they don't he finds a way to force them into being. He might redo his tarot readings dozens of times, or spin the roulette until it lands where it should, and his desired outcome always finds him for that reason. ]

There's nothing that we can't get through together.

[killed]

I always love you more. ♡

[ He loves him so much so that carrying around a toothbrush and toothpaste is no longer abnormal for him. It's an inconvenience, but one that he tolerates to avoid seeing the faces his husband will otherwise make. Even the remnants of the sweets and pastries that Hiyori adores are too much for him.

His stomach does a flip as kisses trail from his palm to his knuckles, and he it makes him want more of him. If only hold him closer. He wants to cover him in kisses, and stroke his hair, and feel the closeness that comes with having a person pressed against you. There's a pang of regret as he realizes once more that he's unable to do any of that, but the kiss against his ear draws a little gasp from him as another shudder rolls down his spine. He hadn't expected it. ]

Yes... I want to be with you for as long as I can.

[ However long that might be. Life expectancy is little more than a guess. ]

My room first, yes? It's straight down the hall now... It's the first room on the right once you turn the corner.

[ They moved him. ]