( closed to @luck ) your turn to die: sou hiyori

[killed]

With varying vanities, from every part, they shift the moving toyshop of their heart.

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roll: 18

[killed]

[ Hiyori blinks, a puzzled smile on his face, as though he can't quite register the words being spoken. It's true enough that they're not legally married, but there's no denying that what had occurred between them was an act of love. There's none of who could deny the purity of their union, nor their feelings for each other. That love moves his heart even now as he watches Komaeda across from him, and he wishes that he could lean on him and nuzzle his shoulder and whisper in his ear so that no one else can hear the words he says.

They're unworthy of such affection, just as Komaeda is undeserving of such cruelty as a false marriage. ]

Ah, I should never toy with the heart of another like that. Well, I must admit, I had imagined something a little more traditional, but it's just as well...

[ There's a warm and gentle laugh that should leave none believing that he was referring to a near-death experience. ]

Of course, we should seek legal recognition at the earliest opportunity, but marriage is nothing more than a union between two people in love. It's an agreement to not wake up from the warm dream that is your mutual love for your entire life, ah, such a wonderful thing.

[ Love is, after all, nothing more than an illusion created by two people. It's the mistaken belief that such mutual love exists, that the person stands before them loves them with their entire heart, and that they in turn can feel the same way. So it stands to reason that marriage is nothing more than an agreement to maintain that illusion for the rest of their lives.

If one understands that, then there's no need for promises of loving for both the good and bad times. ]

I've said my vow, and I shall not go back on it! Until the day I die, I shall love only Nagito Komaeda. My husband, whom I adore and cherish, who brings such warmth and light to my life.

roll: 19

[killed]

I am yours, even in death.

[ There would be others aware of their union if the were to legalize it. He considers for a moment bringing up once more the idea of a more traditional wedding once more, but he finds that it might be difficult when only one half has others to invite. Komaeda has no family and struggles to connect with others, while Hiyori has both a loving family and a comfortable social group. It might be better to slowly introduce him to his family, beginning with his father.

There are none who can object to his choice. His love is as deep as the ocean and as vast as the sky, and it is one that will never die. If there was an afterlife, then he should take it with him. It's why he can speak without so much as a hint of hesitation. Flowery sentiments befitting of his high status, but ones in which are spoken with such care and admiration. They're words that are meant to be believed, ones that should be taken to heart. ]

I will love you for all eternity. My feelings will never change.

[ His embarrassed face is cute too. It makes Hiyori love him even more. ]

[killed]

[ It's difficult for a person whose never been given love so freely to accept it. It must feel like a trick, like being given a present box only to have a boxing glove sprint out once opened, but there's nothing so treacherous about Hiyori. No matter how cruel or kind it might be, his love is always far more pure and honest than any other can hope to be.

Perhaps that's part of why he can love the person sitting across from him. However much he resents it, however jealous hearted and upset he grows, that pure love is one that matches his own. Love pure enough to save one's life as quickly as it might take it. Hiyori should sacrifice every piece of his partner for himself, while Komaeda might give it freely, and that too is a love well matched.

He chuckles, sipping at the bottle of juice. He can't move one arm well, but he manages to rest it on the table to grip the bottle so he can trace the rim of the bottle with his index finger and close his eyes for just a moment. He hardly need be bothered by such a hypothetical when he knows that he won't die. It allows him to humor the idea with the same ease he does everything else. ]

Yes, even then, my life and love shall both be for Komaeda-kun alone.

[killed]

[ It takes Hiyori a few seconds to process that. As is often the case, the grim suggestion doesn't at all match the tone it's said in. It must be because he's still agitated about being confined, but it's moved from looking for a simple escape to a lover's suicide. Though perhaps that's not it at all, and it's simply the result of his own inability to accept the idea of sharing such a love in this life. It's a romantic notion, but as expected, it's not an offer that he can accept. ]

Hm...? We have our entire lives ahead of us, Komaeda-kun, it would be wasteful to cut them short now.

[ He allows Komaeda to keep his hold on him. His smile doesn't falter despite the grim subject matter. It's easy when the drugs slow his emotional reactions, and when he's in such a place that he knows he need not worry. He's so well taken care of that it's annoying, really, and even now he knows they're watching every slight movement. Such as it is, the younger ultimate is left to plan everything out himself as expected. ]

Are you worried?

roll: 10

[killed]

Hm...? Our decision...?

[ He keeps his eyes on Komaeda, patiently waiting for clarification. Hiyori can't remember making a decision, nor can he discern what he might be claiming ownership of. It's too far detached from his own way of thinking. But he realizes that something is off, so perhaps that's a start.

It's stranger still when the topic suddenly shifts. It's a bit difficult for him to keep up. ]

It's been that way for me as well... It might be difficult to convince them now. Have you tried asking?

[ It would be difficult for either of them, really, as they're both seen as a safety hazard for different reasons. It's a hassle, but he supposes they might bend on the issue for him. His hand remains in place, and he makes no effort to movie. It's all a bit odd, really. ]

rolle: 17

[killed]

Ahaha... I'm not doing much walking right now.

[ He looks down with a wry smile, and it stings to say that. He takes his scarf back though, resting it on his lap for the moment. He's still trying to work through what decision he could be referring to. Komaeda is emotional and impulsive, and he tends to make spur of the moment decisions that will only harm him in the long run. He'll have to mention it to someone.

He carefully folds the scarf in his lap, smoothing it out as he looks down. It's a shame that he's so reckless, otherwise he might have been able to leave it with him for a time. ]

You shouldn't be lifting anything in your condition... If you're having a hard time, you should ask one of the nurses. They'll be happy to assist you.

[ Practiced and professional words that are marred by the sleepy tone, and he's quick to move on once more, ]

We should go to the zoo too.. We can go to one where you can meet with the animals... Perhaps we can pet the fennecs? We could feed the sea lions too. ♪

[killed]

[ Hiyori knows that look well. He doesn't like what's been suggested, nor the change in conversation... It's a little disappointing. He's rather fond of the idea of being able to take him to such places - the aquariums and zoos where they can see fish and animals, the planetarium where they can learn of the stars, museums where they can see art and innovation... Those places along with so many others.

But Komaeda doesn't want that now, and so he offers a sheepish smile despite how dejected he is. ]

Yes... I'm sure they will be. I'll heal up quickly so that we can! ♡

[ He leans forward, taking another drink from his bottle. ]

For now... I suppose that we'll have to make due with what we had. You wanted me to go with you, didn't you? Ah, if I won't cause you too much trouble...

[killed]

[ There's a little twitch of his shoulders and a slight tilt of the head after the feels lips brushing against the back of his head. It does improve his mood a little, almost enough to temper the humiliation of having another person offer to him with basic tasks. It's true though, it's difficult for him without assistance.

He opens his mouth to remind him that there's no need for that, but he stops just short of it. Komaeda means it when he says that he wants to be of help, as any person would with someone they care about, and so maybe this is only natural. In sickness and in health, a husband to support his ailing spouse.

He should at least allow this much. So after a moment of thought he instead says, ]

Thank you, Komaeda-kun. You could never be a burden to me, but even so, I'm grateful...

[ The bottles are left behind. He's already lost his taste for them, as nothing seems to stay palatable for very long these days. ]

Maybe I can convince them to let me keep coming out so we can see each other more... I've missed you.

[killed]

[ His heart skips a beat when he feels Komaeda's chin on his shoulder. It's difficult to keep track of time at a time when he mind is so often gone. This is one of those rare times when he has clarity, and he supposes that they must be starting to lower the dose to keep him from being inebriated, or perhaps he's just developed a tolerance to it.

Hiyori would like to sit under the sun with him, to sit on the beach and feel the breeze tickling their cheeks, to inhale the smell of the sea as they lean against one another. He wants to lay his head in his lap and look up at him, to smile at him and reach up and touch his cheek as he does now, tilting his head so their temples touch. He slips away too soon, but Hiyori tilts his head back to look up.

It's not the same when he can't hear his name. The more time that passes with him, the more he starts to think that the reason that they were separated doesn't matter, and the fact that the nurse's don't seem to notice them heading toward the door tells him this way of thinking is correct. They must be distracted by some patient or another. It's a hospital, so incidents occur often enough.

He wants to be called Sou again. ]

You're wonderful, Komaeda-kun... I would have you by my side always if you'd only let me.

[ He blinks a few times, slow blinks as he tries to find a solution to their current predicament. Then he shakes his head. ]

You won't try to leave me again? I'm sure I can convince them to place us in a room together again... You can come back with me now. That will be fine.

[ There's so many problems with that and so many reasons that he actually can't, but he doesn't care about those. ]

[killed]

[ They'll tell both of them no, though of course it would be a much firmer one should they believe that another coerced him into doing so, but kiss after kiss and the feeling of fabric under his hand as he places it on Komaeda's arm assures him that there will be no problems should he only make his desires known. The shiver that runs down his spine promises that while they hold so much sway over his life, but he only need find someone to afraid to say no to him. They aren't all as strong willed as the one that had overseen his care for a time.

It has been lonely without this, and his eyes brighten a little as he watches him pull back. doesn't take his eyes off of the ultimate lucky student long enough to confirm it for himself, but he can tell that the hallway is empty from the lack of noise. It's like they're the only two i the world like this, and so he finds that he's content even with having to look up to him from where he's seated. ]

They will... It's alright. I'll speak with them. They're rather strict with Komaeda-kun, aren't they? I'm sure it must seen harsh, but it's only because they care.

[ He sighs, already knowing that his patient won't understand. They never do, and it's worse with someone like Komaeda who is still a child in so many ways. But he'll come to appreciate it one day. His patients always learn to appreciate what he's done for them in the end. ]

But you've been handling it well, haven't you? I'm proud of you... So I'm certain that they won't object to it at all.

[ Those thoughts aren't quite connected properly. There's no reason that his feelings on the entire affair should matter, and in fact it will likely be seen as all the more reason to keep them separated. Still, he seems certain that they'll see things his way, and he's likely right. ]

[killed]

[ He wouldn't trust the so-called "Ultimate" Nurse with a corpse, much less the care of someone he considers to be so important. It's a miracle that Hope's Peak is able to pick up such treasures as himself and his coworkers when the majority is common trash that lacks talent and charm alike, skirting by on name recognition and records of where they went to school.

But such thoughts would be callous to voice aloud, and the drugs dampen his bitterness a tad, and so he's able to maintain his smile and keep his focus on The person presently with him. Hiyori would like to leave too. He doesn't want to be in this place, his mind muddled and his decisions limited, among people who humor him more than they listen to him. It's frustrating, enough that he himself might leave if given the opportunity. Alas, there's no escape for him, and attempting to do so should only leave him trapped here longer. ]

I know, I know...

[ He keeps his voice quiet and soothing, lifting his hands as Komaeda takes his scarf before resting them back down on his lap. ]

I'm sure they'll listen to my request, and then we can try for other things as well... For example, we could spend the day outside... We can see the flowers in bloom, and hear the birds singing...

[ Did he need to go to the bathroom? Not particularly, but he's so easily led along that he hadn't refused either, so it's well enough. It is, he thinks, a place where they won't immediately be scolded for being too close. ]

There's no ducks here, but perhaps we could see if we can't feed the birds? I think that sparrows are quite cute myself. We might see starlings as well. Wouldn't that be nice?

[killed]

[ The answer is obvious, and it's one that Komaeda knows well by now. His answer never changes, no matter how many times he's asked. It's a wonderful and pure love that drives his every action.

He's glad to see the idea well received, and it reaffirms his decision to see it through. It will do both of them good. Hiyori is tired of being inside, of sterile walls and objects and the endless fussing of those around him, and to breathe in fresh air and hear more sounds than a droning TV or the footsteps and voices of those passing by, the squeaking of wheels and the opening and shutting of doors, everything about it delights him.

Perhaps it can curb some of the other's worst inclinations. He can be difficult and beyond reason sometimes, but at other times he's simple enough to reason and bargain with should one be willing to give a little.

He allows the other to finish, and when he does Hiyori blinks a few times, surprised but not displeased by the question. His expression warms seconds later, and there's an earnest and loving smile that he hasn't quite managed since the night they spent together. He places one hand on his knee to keep himself stable as h leans forward, reaching out to let the backs of his fingers brush against the younger ultimate's face before sliding down his arm to take his hand. ]

Nothing would make me happier.

[ That same warmth and affection is there in his voice, in his touch, and his heartbeat quickens as he matches with his own soft laugh. It's not like Komaeda to be so bold, but he's glad. ]

We can go through the gardens, and I believe we should be able to bring a little picnic basket with us too! ☆ Then perhaps we could pluck a few flowers to take with us to add some color...

[ They can view the garden and feed the birds. They can stop if they get hungry and have a meager meal before continuing on, and they can stop and talk and simply enjoy each other's company... It's not quite the same as being able to go to a real park, but that's fine. They can forget where they are for awhile, and if they so wish, surely they can do so again. ]

We'll make it into a wonderful date.